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Original poster

How do you decide who takes time off?

41 replies

SleepyMcEdie · 12/09/2018 17:10

DS (22 Months) has just thrown up everywhere. Means he can’t go to the childminders tomorrow.

I’m a teacher and work part time so I’ve been off today luckily but should be in work tomorrow. DH works full time in finance.

DH has taken time off before but I’ve probably done slightly more sick days.

Tomorrow he has meetings booked in all day, but this is usual for him. I obviously have classes all day.

How do we decide who takes the day off!?

OP posts:

coffeeforone · 12/09/2018 18:30

We take each day as it comes and decide who can more easily give up or rearrange their work commitments. Overall we try to keep it 50/50 for the full days off.

DH generally does all the emergency pickups as he works 20 mins from the nursery and has the car with him whereas I have a longer commute.

Moody123 · 12/09/2018 18:32

We take it turns x

TammyTwoSawnson · 12/09/2018 18:34

It depends who will be more in the shit for taking a day off. DH is a director in his company so doesn't really answer to anyone, so he can normally just work from home or take emergency calls while looking after a sick DC. I am a photographer so me not showing up to cover a wedding because I have a poorly child isn't really an option!

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aperolspritzplease · 12/09/2018 18:35

@SleepyMcEdie as I've suspected! It is easier for me but it would be helpful if he would at least try. I had preemie twins who in R and Y1 were
Off sick a lot with chest issues. Hopefully they will be better this year!

Original poster

SleepyMcEdie · 12/09/2018 18:35

Triwarrier that may be easier as he gets older but at 22 Months I wouldn’t leave him with a stranger.

OP posts:

blueskiesandforests · 12/09/2018 18:43

triwarrier would you leave a vomitting 22 month old with a neighbor? That's a huge ask, especially given that theyre quite likely not only to have vomut to clean up and to get vomitted on, but also to catch the bug. Very difficult to cover for an inset day/ babysitting a healthy child or a child old enough to vomit into a bowl and not have potential diarrhea nappies...

blueskiesandforests · 12/09/2018 18:43

*very different to

RememberUs · 12/09/2018 18:45

I was always the default as I was a company director working 15 minutes from home and could pop out, wfh or whatever was needed, whereas DH commuted an hour each way if he was office based that day or could be anywhere in the world if it was a travel day. Both jobs were safe, the DC nearly always picked days where I had meetings to be Ill.

On the reverse side DH has very generous leave and absence allowance so was able to do lots of the planned events such as hospital visits.

user1493413286 · 12/09/2018 18:50

Who has more annual leave or who gets paid for it; I tend to take the sick days as I can make them up or work from home whereas DH has to take a day unpaid so while it doesn’t make my life easy we can’t afford to have DH taking days off unpaid

AshenFaced · 12/09/2018 19:02

Whoever's got the most moveable or less important meetings that day, with an eye on keeping it 50/50ish.

Sounds like that might be you this time but your DH should be lining up to shift meetings etc to cover Fri if needed.

I wouldn't leave a vomity 22 month old with anyone other than DH or my mum, and my boss wouldn't expect me to. But it's really important IMO to ensure you both take your fair share so that your employer doesn't get penalised for employing a woman.

offtocornwall · 12/09/2018 19:04

Your DH has a "family friendly employer " That preeches work/life balance. You say that meetings form part of his normal day. His meetings can be moved or rescheduled or delayed if absolutely required to be- Whereas you are required to be in front of a class with children who won't get that day back.

Definitely his turn !

triwarrior · 12/09/2018 19:14

But that’s my point, OP - by building relationships with people they wouldn’t be a stranger!

seven201 · 12/09/2018 19:19

I'm a teacher too, my DH has a trade but is not self employed. We take it in turns. Nursery is close to my work but about 1 1/2hrs from DH's work, so I do the emergency pick ups. Dd once threw up in the nursery car park (I think she got travel sick) but then couldn't go in for two days. I had to take her to work covered in sick to set the cover work and apologise to the people who ended up covering me last minute. If we know dd is going to be off then sometimes MIL comes to stay the night to do the childcare which makes it a lot easier.

Sandstormbrewing · 12/09/2018 19:27

We take it in turns. You did last, I'll go this. Almost without exception.

gamerwidow · 12/09/2018 20:01

triwarrior a network like that is much easier to do when kids are school age and wouldn’t help the OP in this case. No one is going to volunteer to look after a vomiting child unless they really really have to. It’s one of the few occasions where it has to be one of the parents. My mum helps out a lot with emergency childcare but even she would baulk at exposure to a sick bug.

DonnaDarko · 12/09/2018 20:05

DP and I take turns.

We also both have access to work from home if necessary, although you can't really get much done with a toddler!

However I work in London and don't drive; DP works locally and does drive, so he will do the emergency pickups.

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