Positivity needed

[Purplesky2]

I split up with my exh in January due to the discovery of his affair. He has still made the relationship failure my fault though.
I have 3 children who are 11,9 and 7 so growing up and not really needing me like they used to.
I have a fulfilling job and friends so I can get up and get by day by day but i don’t really live in the moment. I’m just preparing myself for the day I’m all alone when the kids have left and don’t need me at all. I feel it’s easier to do this mentally now rather than face it when it happens. I thought I would be with ex forever and so can’t contemplate another relationship so it is inevitable that I will be lonely. I feel so low though and like I just exist and am not really a thinking and feeling human. I’m kind of numb but still sad.

I wondered if anyone else had been through these feelings and found a way to experience a little happiness.

Purple, I've not but January wasn't very long ago, it's recent for a traumatic and life changing event (& how dare he blame you).

There are a couple of books I've heard good things about - how to do everything and be happy, and the artist's way which is a course (I'm doing it now!) talks about "God" a lot though which may be off putting depending on your belief system (although the author suggests changing the word to "good orderly direction" if you want to).
All the best.

Hi

I’ve been through 2 cheating husbands An I’m only 43! 13 years and a child , a gap on own for whole An then 10 year relationship An child!.

I can tell you that it does get better, so much better.
Atm from reading your post your focussing on little children leaving you An preparing for that.Those little children may have 20-30 years at home at the moment so forget that .this is a symptom much alike to post traumatic stress, You have been through an are still dealing with.
All I could do each time, was concentrate on my children an running the house alongside my f/t job.
I had to come off social media because seeing posts by happy smiley faces etc was doing me in.
I was also stalking the ex on it.also cut down contact with the ex to bare minimum.
All I can say is concentrate on you and your little unit, your children need you to be constant , do things that the kids enjoy An from that you enjoy little moments.
Don’t worry about another relationship, my partner took 4 years to come along because I wasn’t ready.
I have no magical answer, it’s just time.
The lone parents board was a great help too so go over to that an chat too.

Thanks for the encouragement. Everything makes me feel a bit tearful. I guess I’ve pushed forward but don’t feel much better than 6 months ago.