I mixed up someone’s name ONCE and she won’t stop going on about it

[FantasticoGabba]

At work, two colleagues with similar sounding names. Think Anna and Annie type of thing. They are both Asian (this is relevant)

I called one the wrong name once over THREE months ago and she is still bringing it up.

When it first happened I said oh Anne here’s that thing you asked for. She said oh I’m Annie whilst laughing and then made a joke about Asians all looking the same. I said oh sorry lol your names are quite similar and that was the end of that.

She’s since brought it up about 4 times. Usually with other peoole around and in a jokey way “oh she thinks we all look the same hahahah” or “well done” when I get her name right.

I understand it must be annoying if this is something which happens a lot but I genuinely got her name wrong, she doesn’t look like the other woman, I just said the wrong name.

I can’t really get annoyed as she is quite senior to me. Do you think at this point a genuine apology is any good?

I was thinking that I could say “oh Anna I just wanted to say I am really sorry if it came across like I had you both confused, it was just the names and not you as people, I hope that’s ok”

I do get a bit anxious about thinking I’ve done people wrong and I’ve started worrying every time I have to talk to her that I’m going to say the wrong bloody name. Today she brought it up in the staff room in front of other staff, it was embarrassing!

If it was repeatedly being brought up I think I would just say quietly “I immediately and sincerely apologised for my mistake at the time” and wait to see what she says.

It must be annoying if it happens to her regularly but it’s not fair to use it as a stick to best you with.

Just smile and say ah yes I did but it was only the once

We used to have an Anne, Annie, Anna, Emma, esme and Emily in one department. It was a nightmare. Especially when you threw in they didn’t all get on.

So basically she is making underhanded digs that you are a racist.
Unfounded.
Things like this are why racism arent taken seriously.
Go straight to your boss and explain the one off mistake, how she keeps discussing it. Then ask her next time if she wants a formal meeting about it as you have raised the issue already.

I regularly call my brother by my DS’s name, and occasionally call either of my DC by the dog’s name so she’s lucky you got it in the right ballpark.

I would say “You’re getting good mileage out of a minor mistake, aren’t you?” in a slightly bored tone of voice.

She sounds like an utter dick!!

The next time she brings it up, I would say “oh goodness it was just the once that I mixed your name up. Think yourself lucky, I quite often call dh by the dog’s name/forget my own name” with a hearty laugh.

Then if she then persists, I think its time to speak to your manager or hr just to cover yourself, as sanssheriff suggests.

Can you email her or is it face to face only?

I would say something along the lines of: I apologised to you at the time and I now reiterate that apology as you seem to still have an issue with my mistake. I don't appreciate your repeated jibes, especially in front of other people, and I trust this draws a line under the matter. However if that's not the case then we should refer this to [senior manager or HR as appropriate] for them to arbitrate.

Just say to her firmly, looking her straight in the face, "I only did it once and apologised, it's wearing a bit thin now". She'll stop. She probably does the same from time to time, most people do.

I think you need to stop this firmly. Next time she says you think all Asians look the same. Stop her immediatly and tell her that’s not true and that you find her saying so quite offensive.