Anxiety about everything..

[GeorgePorge]

Sorry for posting here rather than health but I guess I'm after a rounded view on this and I don't just want to see this as a health issue.

Basically, I need help with managing anxiety and/or I need to know whether other people have levels of anxiety even close to mine.

I'm decorating my house. There have been, understandably, things that have gone wrong. The people who fitted the blinds yesterday, for example, made a chip in the paint.

I really really really struggle to put these kind of things into perspective. I go over and over them in my head, beating myself up about it and feeling sad that things aren't as I'd planned. Then I begin to worry about other things like whether the plumbers who are coming to re-fit radiators will also chip the paint or whether they'll mark the new carpet with water.

Last night I had about three hours sleep because I was going over and over the chipped paint in my head.

I know this isn't normal but how do I deal with it? What are your coping mechanisms? I don't want medication.

OP, we sound very similar. I've always struggled with anxiety, but the repetitive thoughts I have, sometimes take over and unfortunately will tend to be worse at night time. My dp thinks I have a form of OCD, because I can have the same thought, same scene, same piece of music going round and round my head, to the point I feel I'm going insane and sleep becomes a distinct memory.

Like you, I don't want medication either, but I have tried some alternatives, such as meditation and lavender oil. The latter might sound silly, but it genuinely can have a relaxing effect on the brain. Doesn't always work, but it does sometimes.

Thanks @NewDirectionNeeded I'll give lavender oil a go. How do you use it? A drop on your skin?

It's daft because the chip in the paint was going round and round in my head but there was nothing that I could do about it, I knew it didn't matter in the grand scheme of things but I just kept spiraling the thought like there's a chip in the paint, that means the room's not perfect, that means it looks shit, that means I've wasted all my money, what are the next tradesmen going to damage, what if they ruin my carpet, how can I stop them ruining my carpet.

AAaaaah, shut up brian

**Brain

Not brian. Although brian can shut as well.

Meditation. Definitely.

There's an app called Headspace I'm interested in trying.

I had a breakdown a few years ago. Chronic insomnia. Anxiety. Depression. Battled anxiety and depression since I was 15. Now I'm 30 and I haven't had depression for 3 years.

I attribute this to:

Stopping taking the pill - massive one for me. Pretty much wholly responsible for my depression.

Getting some exercise - I started Insanity.

Meditation - seriously. So good. Helped me keep things in perspective and to not worry about things so much.

Thank you @PlinkPlink I'm glad you're in a good place now

I exercise regularly - out every day with the dog but I also swim and gym at least three days a week.

I don't take the Pill

Meditation sounds amazing. Can you give me any tips of where to start, please? I'll have a look into that App

That's so good youre out every day. There's alot or be said for fresh air and getting out of the house.

I find it easier with the Buddhist approach. I have a set of Malla beads. I stick on some meditation sounds in my headphones (they're Buddhist monks chanting OM - my OH thinks it's creepy but it really relaxes me ha) and I repeat the same phrase every time I touch a bead until I get to the end of the set. 'Om mani padme hum'... you'd be surprised how well it works. I've fallen asleep many a time doing that.

It will take time and practice. You'll only be able to do a minute or two in the beginning but practising will pay off. The Headspace app gives you a guided meditation experience which may help too.

This is textbook OCD - repetitive and obsessive thoughts. You need meditation and possibly medication. You may not need ADs but may perhaps be prescribed a beta blocker. Don’t refuse medication; it changed my life.

*OP, with the lavender oil, I used to put it on my pillow (a few drops) but I didn't like the thought of it getting in my hair. I just breathe it in now from the bottle. It honestly does seem to calm me sometimes.

Another meditation app recommendation is Insight Timer. I don't usually use the guided meditation, maybe I should, but I listen to the calming music and nature sounds, like running water, crashing waves etc.

Thank you for these suggestions everyone. I'm going to get some lavender oil at the weekend and look into meditation apps.

@MM18 I get what you're saying but I'd really rather try and control this without medication just yet.

OP can you see your GP? CBT could really help. Mindfulness is really useful too. Don't rule out meds- they really helped me. xx

You can put a few drops of lavender oil in a bath or on a tissue to breathe in or have near you in bed. It will tell you how much to use on the bottle.

I've had similar thoughts about similar events, too. Hope you find something that helps. I'd try counselling but I know that's almost the standard answer.

@GeorgePorge can you not re-paint the chip ?
I would say you are an extreme perfectionist . I too am a perfectionist but looking at me and my home you wouldn't think that ! There are literally not enough hours in the day to make my house or me as I want them throughout the day so I choose to zone out to cope .
If I want to sort the house out and things are not how I want them I get angry and upset. If I want to look my best I never can and so choose to not bother . My son has actually said he thinks I have OCD ... I took no notice because I always associated OCD with complete cleanliness ...really weird how he has picked up on my behaviors.
I have no advice other than zone out or work all day every day and don't sleep

@GeorgePorge I will actually give you some examples of what really upsets/angers me if I think about or leave them : one little mark on anything in home (have to zone out )
my car not parked straight (don't zone out)
duvets washed everyday because they don't smell clean ( don't zone out )
make-up perfect and eyebrows symmetrical (have to zone out )
Paint round the edges of wall not immaculate (zone out )
Photo too small in photo frame so has to be equal parts showing all way around photo (don't zone out )
odd socks (have to zone out ) this has had me hysterical in the past and I would not throw odd socks out ! I have a collection upstairs !
books smallest to biggest in bookcase ( don't zone out )
Colour matches in every room ( don't need to zone out ..just do it)
Zero creases in clothes (don't iron clothes only uniform for this reason )
I have to switch off and distract myself now (zone out )because the thought of all those things I have mentioned is making me annoyed . It is so easy to become very ill from wanting things "just right" . I too am not on meds but if you can't zone out please seek professional help .x