Buy DD a car or not

[ashvivienne]

DD1 is 21 next month. I want to get her a car, OH thinks it’s too much. DD works nights and currently I’m the one getting up to pick her up at 1/2 am while she makes her own way in. She’s currently 21 weeks pregnant which OH isn’t very happy about and I’m assuming that’s the main reason he’s adamant we aren’t getting her one.
She’s already been looking at cars but with a baby on the way and the cost of insurance her budgets not the biggest.
We can more than afford to purchase a car for her. I’m honestly on the verge of just buying the car and letting OH stew in his own anger, WWYD

If you can, and it would really help her out then I would.

Is oh her father? How will she be able to afford ongoing costs if she is not working?

I'm sure he would change his tune if he had to do even half of the 2am pick ups.

If you can afford to, get her a little run around and maybe cover the first year's insurance cost.

She's already pregnant so nothing you can do about that, him punishing her isn't going to change anything.

I would in your position, making both your lives easier and being able to afford to do so.

Of course, wouldnt think twice about it as it would clearly really help her out right now.

I’ve looked at a few cars in the area and the insurance is cheaper if we buy newer £75 - £100 a month if we pay it up front and she just pays us back every month which makes more sense especially while she’ll be on SMP. I think we will go and visit for car dealerships tomorrow and wednesday and test drive some newer cars “for fun” and some older ones too so she thinks shes buying it.

If OH isn’t her father and isn’t paying then I don’t get why his opinion matters at all (on the car or her pregnancy). If you can afford it then it would be a lovely thing to do for her and a real help with a baby on the way, plus from a purely selfish perspective it would save you those 2am pick-ups!

"I’m honestly on the verge of just buying the car and letting OH stew in his own anger"

Anger? What has he got to be angry about? I could understand (although not sympathise) if he was disappointed, exasperated, irritated - but ANGRY? Why angry? And angry at who? Your daughter for working nights, your daughter for being pregnant - or angry at you for not doing what he tells you to do? Angry at you for prioritising your daughter's safety and comfort over his desire to rule the roost?

Does he kick up about you going to pick her up at 1/2 am too? And what else does he tell you you can and can't do?

"She’s currently 21 weeks pregnant which OH isn’t very happy about and I’m assuming that’s the main reason he’s adamant we aren’t getting her one."

So he wants to punish her for being pregnant? How nice.

I think it's a nice thing to do and she'll probably really appreciate it with baby on the way.

If OH 'isn't happy' about the pregnancy, that's his problem. Or is it the potential disrupted nights he's worried about? I'm assuming she's still living at home.

We would and have helped our DS’s.

She’s still living at home but above our garage she lives in a “granny flat” that we have put a kitchen in and it has 2 bedrooms so ideal for her to have her own space anyway pregnant or not and she pays rent to live in it (it goes into a savings account for the future). OH honestly has said about 20 words to her in the last 9 weeks since she told him something he knows he needs to get over although they already go long periods of not seeing each other due to work timings. OH and I had DD1 around the same age but we had done very well at school and we were finishing uni while DD has done average but left school at 16 and has been in the same job nearly 5 years now and is perfectly content. At 20 she’s been very responsible regarding the pregnancy. Think OH still sees DD as his little girl and with the issues there’s been with the babies father I understand his frustration at times. We are going tomorrow afternoon to view a few cars and test drive them!