Tell me the funniest/best/weirdest things you've overheard

[GaryRoads]

Walking dogs is an amazing way to overhear random people's conversations, especially kids!

This morning, I overheard a guy talking on the phone. In a kind of end-of-the-world resigned voice he said "Well, she did slap him in the face with a yellowfin tuna".

I've been chucking away all morning about it.

Tell me yours!

Two members of staff at Waitrose:
-Is he the one with the big nose?
-Yes. And three nipples.

Guy passing on the street once chatting to a friend "and that's why I said he should have practised with a pineapple first!". It was a few years ago now and I still wish I could know the context!

In the shops, on a Sunday;

Husband to wife (outraged tone of voice): “What do you mean I never do anything around the house, I emptied the dishwasher on Wednesday!”

Love these... keep em coming!

I used to live in a really rough area - lots of drug addicts. I once overheard a drug addict (who wasn't wearing any trousers) that they needed to wrap up their conversation quickly because his pet unicorn had to go to the dentist.

This was about 15 years ago, before unicorns were fashionable.

Two young guys coming back from the pub, walking towards me. One explaining something in depth, other one listening intently. The listener said something which infuriated the talker, who said when they were going past me "I said asteroids not haemorrhoids". The mind boggles.