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Mother in law fractured shoulder & hoarder.

4 replies

Wilf1975 · 09/09/2018 23:46

My mother in law has never really shown much interest in getting to know me, she is desperate to spend time with her son.
So 2 weeks ago mother in law fell at home and fractured her shoulder. She lives alone and is a hoarder. The house is full, not only a health & safety risk for her but absolutely disgustingly dirty. We took her home with us and are now stuck. She is living in our lounge and does absolutely nothing accept for taking over. Both my husband and I work full time and struggling to manage it all. The only time she moves off the sofa is to go to the toilet.
I went to fracture clinic and doctor said needs to take arm out of sling and use elbow otherwise will be stiff. She has blatantly told my husband she shouldn’t move it.
When try to address her house complete denial to the state it’s in. Going to book appointment with GP and take photos but what next? I know this sounds selfish as my kids are now adults and was looking forward to having my own time. I do not want to become her carer. I do help but this really isn’t a long term solution. All ideas welcome...

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 09/09/2018 23:51

It doesn't sound selfish at all. She sounds selfish. Tell her it's time to go home now, and arrange some physio for the shoulder.

BertrandRussell · 10/09/2018 00:01

Is she capable of looking after herself? If it’s only been two weeks she may not be able to yet. Does she have mental health problems or is it “normal” hoarding?

Wilf1975 · 10/09/2018 07:33

No she can’t stay in her house because just not safe and reason she fell. Yes only been 2 and a half weeks but not doing anything for herself. The only exercise she has is using the remote control for the tv.
This is the longest time I have spent with her and realise that her mental health is very poor. Discussed with her last week about going home but she has literally one chair to sit in. There are things littered everywhere even on the stairs and can’t take her home like that, what happens if she fell again? She just doesn’t see it as a problem. Even if we found her a new place to stay I think it would be full within weeks. She has had at least one parcel a day delivered to our house over the past 2 & half weeks and doesn’t seem able not to shop!

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 10/09/2018 09:05

Are social services involved?
Sorry for all the questions! Could your dp talk to her doctor and see what they think? Obviously you need to find a way of getting her somewhere safe to live as soon as she's well enough.....

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