DD is driving me mad. Potty training veterans, any advice?

[readysetcake]

DD has wanted to use the potty and toilet since April. She’s totally dry for wee now. But she will not poo in anything but her pants or nappy.

I had some success for a few weeks ago when we spent most of our time in the house with no trousers or pants on and getting rewards. But that was short lived. Now she’s taken to holding it for two days at a time and going in her nappy at night after she’s gone to bed. I’m have to wake her to change her. Im worried about her holding it. Im also worried I’m doing something terribly wrong. Im suffering from post natal depression after the birth of my DS and feel like I can do nothing right.

Should we just make her sit on the toilet or potty until she does it? She gets very upset if we do this. Do we just wait it out? Give lactulose? I try my best not to show my frustration and just clean up accidents or change nappies. But I must admit my current state means I’m not always successful. I’m scared this is a product of my depression and I’m emotionally damaging her!

Please someone give me tips. I’ve lost all confidence

Shit, that was long. Sorry.

It's a difficult stage and I went through this with both of mine. Two things worked a bit: bribing with chocolate buttons (mine had never had refined sugar until that point but I was desperate) and putting an opened nappy in the bottom of the potty so it was a bit of a compromise.

I hope things improve for you soon

Bribery and corruption. We went for chocolate buttons as well. DS kept raising the rate for a poo in the loo but we were just glad he was going! He always kept his poo in until his bedtime nappy and would hide away to do it. A compromise was reached that he would sit in his nappy on the potty. Then we loosened the nappy. Then open nappy on the potty. We finally moved to the loo. I was slightly amazed that - in time - we managed to downgrade the bribery and then completely get rid of it.

Thanks both for your replies. We’ve tried all different sorts of bribery. And it worked for a while but not now. it’s like nothing is worth pooing on the toilet or potty for. Ill try persuading her to do it in her nappy on the potty.

First of all it’s nothing that you are doing ... if basic bribery doesn’t work ... chill and give her a nappy to do it in ... avoid her holding it in at all cost ....
I have been there and back with this one and remember being incredibly stressed about it !
PM me if you would like to discuss ... more than happy to share my long journey with this if you think it would help

Does she ask for a napoy to poo in? My ds did- so I just put one on him until he decided he wanted to use the loo. It took a couple of months, but it was fine.

It's really, really, really not something to stress over in my experience.
Let her take the lead.
In a year or so you will think "why did I let that get to me?"
Plenty of butter on her sandwiches is good for keeping regular.
It's a tough time, been there. Go easy on yourself OP.

Bribery route here. Used the my little pony surprise packets. Started off for one each time it was in the potty/toilet. Then one per morning/afternoon. Then one per day.

I would say relax and don't make it a battle out of my friends the ones who really forced it seemed to take longer than the ones who just relaxed about it. My little boy trained in the month of his third birthday and just got it pretty well straight away but if he hadn't I wasn't going to push it would of just tried again a bit later

Only bribery worked with my girls - poo prizes to be exact!
So basically I filled a bag with pound shop crap and had a sticker chart. So at a particular time of day for them when I know they'd want a poo, I made them sit on the toilet. For every poo they'd get a sticker on the chart and for a third poo a poo prize.
It was a bloody nightmare but worked!

We went through the same with ds recently but one day he went in the toilet & I called him a superstar. He went round all day saying he was a superstar & it just clicked in to place for him from then. It will happen.
There was a phone-in thing on morning tv a few weeks ago & the ‘expert’ suggested that even if they poo in their pants you tip it in the toilet & show the child, telling them that’s where the poo goes & showing them what happens when you flush it etc. A bit grim but also watching you go apparently helps!

How old is she? She may just not be ready yet. It's not worth risking constipation or your mental well being. Put her back on nappies and try it again in a couple of months. Good luck. 😀

Dd1 asked for a nappy to poo in for about a year after she was able to wee on the loo. We just went with and one day she decided the toilet was fine and that was that. No drama.

Have you read "poo goes to poo land" or other potty related stories? That might help but however long it feels, she'll get there (dd2 "got" potty training in a week but then decided it wasn't for her, no thank you. Months and months it took but now its just a memory and wasn't worth stressing over with hindsight. Good old hindsight, that smug smugster).