Do kids always miss / love the absent parent more?

[KlutzyDraconequus]

I'm sitting here absolutely devastated and I know I'm being ridiculous.
Basically my 6 year old daughter has been at her mum's for the weekend and now she's home. She went to bed but started crying. When I asked what's wrong she told me she misses mummy and that she loves mummy the most.
Its really wounded me deeply as he mum doesn't really do much with her. She left, got herself a new place and new bloke and sees little one at weekends when it's convenient.
It's me doing all the running around, getting her to school, getting her fed, shopping for her, taking her places etc.

Feel a bit gutted and wondering why I bother really. :(

I wouldn’t worry. My little girl told me she loved her Nursery keyworked as much as me the other day. I don’t think little children have objective views on who they love more - she’s just feeling sad.

Children don’t mean it or understand the hurt that it causes. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to hear she cries and misses you when at her mum’s.

Second conversation and apparently her mum has said she wants her to go and live with her.
Seems mean an manipulative.

Mine just got back from weekend and we get similar. I think the NRP gets more fun things and less discipline.

I think you need to stop thinking about how you feel wounded and consider the feelings of your 6yo CHILD. Her mum left, of course she bloody misses her, of course she's going to cry. It's no reflection on you.

I had divorced parents growing up and remember missing the parent I wasn't with at the time. I lived with my mum and missed my dad when I was with her, then on the weekends I went to my dads, I'd miss my mum!

I bet when she goes to her mum's it's you that she misses. I think it's totally normal.

Aww OP, I know how much this hurts first hand. But genuinely I think it's because with you she is safe, she sees you all the time, you go everything for her, even the crap stuff like discipline. She loves you, of course she does, she'd be lost without you. But because you're there all the time and her mum isn't, she misses her mum more. That doesn't mean she actually loves her mum more though. Like others said it'd probably be the other way round when she's at her mums talking about you!

I had postnatal depression bad and was doing the lions share, at the time my DS seemed to hate me and only ever wanted his daddy but he didn't really see his daddy much as his daddy works long hours. Like you I thought what's the point, especially if he doesn't love me. As part of my recovery, I made sure parenting was 50/50. I started doing 50% of drop offs and pick ups from childcare and daddy did the other half, I worked an extra day more and had a few hours to myself in the week while he was in childcare. All of a sudden, because he saw us equal amounts and received the same amount of discipline from each of us rather than it just being me, now he seems to miss us both equally. Some days he only wants me, and other days he wants his daddy. I don't take it to heart anymore, he's a child and I really think it's about feeling safe that you're not going to up and leave as you're there for her all the time

Well I've mellowed slightly and the feeling of rejection and guilt and sadness have calmed.

I know she misses her mum, thats why she goes every weekend. She doesn't miss me much when she's with her mum tho, she never calls me before bed or has facetime with etc. She does with her mum tho. Might have to see if that can be a regular thing? Quick facetime with mummy before bed time. :)
It's been 2 years now and I was hoping things would have settled, it was worse in the first few months to be fair so they have settled a bit, maybe it'll always be this way?
I've never done this before and I often feel like I'm woeful at it and I'm raising her wrong. :( I just want her to be happy.

Dd1 does this - constantly telling me that she loves me but she loves daddy a tiny bit more, that she's a daddy's girl etc.
In our case she doesn't have to do all the mundane day to day stuff with him and there is never a time pressure because she only goes in holidays. & sees him for a few hours 1 x fortnight when they go out for lunch.
It hurts but she's allowed to have her own feelings & I hope one day she'll understand. She's only 7 she doesn't get having to worry about these things now.
Dd2 hates being at his and loiters on FaceTime trying to come up with things to tell me just to keep me talking. But he left when she was 4 months olď So their relationship is never going to be automatic