Babysitting and alcohol

[Underworld345]

My sister in law is always asking if she can have our 1 year old over night. I would like to say yes but she’s a big drinker. She’s always at the pub drinking socially and apparently always has a drink even on week nights. It’s just her way of life.

So really, she probably acts totally normal and her judgement would still be ok even after a few.

But I really don’t think it’s acceptable to drink when you’re babysitting a one year old over night.

Sadly I don’t think she would resist drinking for even one night (it would be a weekend) and deep down I think she’d probably want to be at the pub.

How would you approach this. I’d like her to babysit but am I being unreasonable to tell her she can’t have any alcohol when she’s looking after him overnight?

For the record, she’s looked after him during the day a few times and she takes him to the pub...And it’s obvious she’s had a pint so she has no qualms about drinking.

Of course you wouldn’t be unreasonable to ask her not to drink. Just say you’re happy for her to stay if your sister doesn’t drink while she’s looking after her. That’s fine. If she really wants to look after her she will agree to this. If she doesn’t agree then what have you lost?

Sorry, thought your son was daughter

Personally I don’t think I’ve drink is bad but it’s your baby and your own comfort and you know her whether one drink is actually more and how she handles it.

Just because someone would like your child overnight doesn’t mean you should feel you need to fulfill this wish. If you’re not comfortable with it just don’t do it. It’s not like you need her help.

Why dont you let her babysit at your place? She could stay the night and get up with the baby in the morning giving you a lay in?

Why is she asking to have your DC overnight?

If she's doing you a favour (if you we'd a babysitter) then you probably have to just accept her as she is or say no thanks and pay a babysitter or not go wherever it is you'd be going.

If you don't need a babysitter at all and she just wants the baby overnight herself then you can absolutely say only if she doesn't drink. I'd stop letting her take the baby to the pub on her own in the day too. What's that about, unless she's doing you a favour as you have to work and can't get another babysitter?

Need not we'd

No it’s not a favour. She would like like to spend time with him. A drink or two would make no difference to her judgement as I said, but it’s just the principal of drinking when looking after someone else’s child.

I drink every night, I have a very high tolerance and don't even get tipsy. But why shouldn't I have a drink? I don't have any kind of problem as I don't NEED a drink, I just enjoy a few drinks when my son is in bed. As long as the person is able to take proper care of the child, which I always am, I don't see the problem at all. Now if the person is not able to take care of the child, then that's wrong 100%.

I’ve just had a glass of wine and my 6,3 and 1 year olds are upstairs asleep.

If she’s not drunk I genuinely cannot see the problem.

Trust your gut. If your baby needed medical assistance in the night and she had consumed alcohol, could she respond appropriately? People who work with children and vulnerable people are not allowed to work if they have consumed alcohol, for a good reason.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t drink at all. Obviously we have our kids with us most of the time and there’s nothing wrong with drinking as long as we can take care of them.

I believe it’s different if someone can’t refrain for one night to look after a small child they barely see.

But what does it matter if you’re not comfortable with it, it’s your child and it’s not a desperate need situation.

SMIL snipes about MIL to DD if they have too much time alone together, therefore I am not comfortable with situation and it don’t let it occur even if SMIL wants DD overnight. It’s not done in a rude way even though I’m justified to tell her what’s what as there’s no point and she’s still do it and probably add me to the sniping too. They get time together, quality time too with us or FIL in charge (she doesn’t do it when he’s around) and we fob off other requests and let them fizzle out.

FWIW no one has had DD (3) overnight yet, not because we’re worried about it but because we’ve had no need for it. Plenty of other families are like this too so it’s not unusual.