Has anyone fallen out of love with their dp for no particular reason?

[bitton]

I'm really struggling lately. Though I deeply care about my DH. I don't think I love him. I don't find him that attractive either. He hasn't done anything for me to want to feel like this.

It's almost as though I don't care about my marriage. It really wouldn't bother me if tomorrow he was to wake up and tell me that he didn't want to be with me
anymore.

We get along just fine and don't really argue. Our relationship is ok for the most part. But I don't know if I am really in love with him. I don't look at him and get a strong feeling of love. I feel I am living beside him not with him.

I sometimes daydream about being with someone else which I know I shouldn't do.

Is this a normal phase that occurs in long term relationships? Should I try to get the "spark" back, so to speak? Im at a loss what to do. It's really upsetting me and I have been crying about it too. DH knows I'm feeling down about stuff but he doesn't know exactly what.

Has anyone been through similar.

Bump!

I fell out of love with exH for very good reasons. Not no reason.

Which makes me wonder about other factors. How do you feel about your life, your passions, your interests, yourself? Were you desperately in love at the beginning?

Noone has no reason to feel nothing. DF.

It does feel like no reason. I'm finding myself, irritated by the stuff he does/ the way he is when previously it wouldn't have bothered me at all. I have really strong feelings of wishing I hadn't married him

When I first got married I was very naive. I was mid 20d bit still very naive. I didn't really know what I wanted from life

Why did you marry him?

He was kind, we had a lot in common, he was sweet to me. We got married very quickly.

Our relationship was difficult in the beginning. I was very very hurt by it all and it really knocked myself confidence. I almost left. He wanted to make a go of it. He changed his ways (almost). Well he mostly has. Some old habits die hard. Things were ok just bobbing along.

I did, 6 weeks after we got married I had a WTF have I done moment, we just bumbled along for nearly 7 years including having DS, when he was 6 years old I had a sudden moment of clarity & left my husband the same night. I've never regretted it, only that I didn't do it sooner.

I think my feelings are sort of catching up with me after all these years. The feeling of wanting to leave when I did come to the fore. Not the feeling of love when I first met him.

It started badly, you weren't really in love.

Those are reasons. Sorry because that sort of thing isn't surmountable. You can't make yourself love someone you don't.

Yes. I married my exh at 21, I was very naive and caught up in the fairy tale. After a few months of being married I realised I had made a mistake. I was too afraid to leave because I didn't want to let anyone down and then I found out DS was on the way so I thought I owed it to him to make it work.

I couldn't keep living a lie though and we split when DS was 10 months. It was the best thing for both of us. My exh has a partner who he is very happy with and I have been single ever since and I just feel free. We divorced 4 years ago.

Yes - after 15 years of marriage and 3 children. Nothing specific at the time but it wasn't til we split up that I realised I had actually had 4 children and wonder if that was a contributing factor.

Yes I feel like this. We aren't married but have been together for 10 years and have 4dc. I need to feel like he finds me attractive and wants to be with me. He so obviously doesn't so I stop making the effort.
We don't really talk about things anymore because it causes a row and I just can't be bothered and I've just got to the point where I think you just do your thing and I will do mine.
We are more like brother and sister now. We went on a four day break without the kids recently and didn't even have sex.

I did have feelings like this before but like you holycityzoo I found out I was pregnant and stayed because of Dc now I'm not too sure if it was the right decision. I don't think he would care either way if I stayed or left tbh.

How long have you been together? Are the kids very young?
What kind of future can you imagine in the event of a split? Who would move, how would you share the childcare, all that?

We've been together ten years. We have 3 kids between 7 and a baby. Life would be pretty hard financially if I split which is half the reason I'm staying. Life isn't terrible but it isn't happy either. I yearn to be free but in reality I know it's probably going to be extremely hard.

I'm pretty sure he would move out as to not disrupt the kids but he probably would leave out of town and live somewhere completely far. I don't think he would take it very well though.

I woke up literally one day and realised I had fallen out of love with my exH.

Bonkers as it sounds I still love my exH ... but I am not in love with him. My exH constantly reminds me why we had a child together, as he is a wonderful father.

I got remarried a few years back ... my DH is "my person" my DH hates how me and exH are so reasonable about everything with our child.

I have no regrets seeking a divorce and getting remarried. The only thing I regret is the pain I caused my exH when I left ... but sadly without pain you don't always grow as a person.

Don't be scared to make yourself happy even if it means hurting your DH ... you have one life ... don't live with regrets ... live with hope, dreams and believe something amazing is about to happen.

Tbh I don't think I would find anyone that I could imagine growing old with. I've sort of given hope about it all. I would be single and free and I think that is how I would be happy. But the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I feel so sad for myself. So stuck.

I've come to the conclusion I'm not meant to live with anyone, I'm far happier with just DS living here part time & having time & space for myself. I wish I'd realised a lot earlier, I could have saved a lot of arguments & being miserable.