CAO: Anyone going back to court for the second or third time?

[Amousewithclogson]

Looking for a bit of support as I go through this process again. I post regularly under another name but I want to keep it separate in case of identifying information.

I've done both mediation and court twice. Ex was abusive in every way except physically and my life without him is so much better but he still tries to control me and create problems for me from a distance. Legally, things haven't gone well for him in the past but he will not see reason and so we're going back to court once more.

I don't have much support IRL in terms of people who have gone through abuse or court themselves and would appreciate input from posters here who have seen and done it all themselves, and hopefully provide some support to others myself.

Anyone else in a similar situation?

Bump

No one then? You lucky people - this is envy

Sorry I haven't but happy to listen to you rant

Sorry, I have no experience of this OP. Why is he taking you back to court?

try oin the lone parents board. there are a lot of peple with experience there. Or relationships board.

You don't get much of a response on Lone Parents so I thought I would try Chat for traffic.

Why is he taking me back to court? Because he's an idiot, basically, who puts his needs above DC's and everyone else's. He doesn't listen to anyone. He's a narcissist. I know it gets said a lot on here but he really is.

The thing is, I've changed a lot. He doesn't scare me now but it is draining and going to court isn't easy for anyone. It's also not really affordable for me at this point but I have no choice. It wouldn't be so bad if I thought it was going to be the end of it but it never is.

Have you self repped previously?

No, it can't be easy having to do it all again. I assume he is still thinking he has something to prove.

Sorry you are in this position.

I've had legal representation both times before. It's not so much that I'm scared to self-represent but he had a barrister. I think he needs a barrister because it stops him being too outrageous with this requests on the day. Maybe without one the court would be more dismissive though as I think they would see right through him.

It's difficult to understand where he's coming from because he doesn't reason in the same way other people do. He doesn't take no for an answer. That's why we are back in court on issues the court has already ruled on before 🙄

It is likely to go in your favour unless anything has actually changed! The courts usually can see through these people and are not happy that they are wasting court time over "nothing"

Yes Random I think there's a good chance it will go my way but nothing is ever certain. Because he doesn't accept he's in the wrong it makes me have doubts sometimes. It's unnecessary stress and antagonism.

I suspect he will throw a spanner in the works on the day and try to make additional changes to plans that have already been agreed. That's part of the power thing.

It just a lonely place to be. Because I've been through so much of this before I feel like I've drained family and friends already and am keeping a bit quieter about it this time round. It doesn't mean I'm any less stressed.

I had to go 3 times, as my DS was only 6 at the time & we had to build up contact from him seeing his dad with supervision at first, then having him for a few hours on his own, then starting overnights. It took 7 months from us splitting up to the final order, we had to go to court 5 times in total as he wouldn't move out of my house & we had to sort getting him out by contested hearing, plus he broke the non molestation order by harassing me & my new DP on social media. We split in May, got our decree nisi in October & decree absolute in January as my ex husband dragged out applying for it. If by any chance you have legal aid, have a barrister yourself as they run rings round solicitors & can help you get a better deal. Good luck.

Well come dump it all on here!

You know it's all about the power and ego.

What does he claim he wants changed? Please let me have a laugh at how ridiculous he is being

I spent a big proportion of my savings on mediation and court in the past and will again this time. A lot of money has been wasted as ex's arguments weren't valid in the first place.

My process has been very long. It's 7 years since I left. It won't end any time soon. I've come to accept that.

There are people in worse situations but I do envy those who are just able to come to an arrangement that works and works for the DC, most importantly.

I wish I could tell you all about my situation but it would be too outing.