How to get things done?!

[AlexaShutUp]

I wonder if you could share your tips with me on how you get stuff done?

I'm a terrible procrastinator. I don't even know why I do it. Quite simple tasks get left until they become significant sources of stress, and then they become so much harder. I work full time in a demanding job, so don't have much downtime, and when I do have time off, I just feel so lazy. However, not doing stuff in a timely way is getting me down and making life miserable. Why is it so hard for me to just get on with stuff?!

My house is a tip and I'm so overwhelmed by the mess that I don't know where to start. I'm feeling guilty because I'm falling behind with voluntary work that I have committed to doing. I have so many ideas, projects and plans that I'd like to start, but I never do any of them.

I often set myself a timer to try and get started, but I struggle to stay on task and allow myself to get distracted very easily. Sometimes, if I'm really stressed about something, I'll get started on a displacement task instead - anything other than what I really need to be doing. Teenage dd is pretty good at helping me stay on track when she is around to help, but surely, in my mid-forties, I should be able to motivate myself sufficiently without external intervention?!

Do other people struggle with getting started on tasks and seeing them through? How do you stay on top of everything that needs to be done? Has anyone had this problem and found a way to overcome it? Please help, as this is really impacting on my health and quality of life.

Nobody?

No advice just sympathy because I'm the same.

No advice I'm afraid but I'm the same , I'm a stay at home mum and find myself so busy with my 2 year old. That I try and get the basics done each day but everything still mounts up to the point I can't see the best place to start to make a difference

Make a list?
It is the only way I ever get stuff done and even then I don't always manage!

For your house - get a cleaner in to do a deep clean if you can afford it and then spend half hour a day tidying after work.

Laundry commit to 2 loads a day to clear it them tumble dry and hang what you can so your not left with a tonne of ironing.

Write a weekly menu and stick to it work lunches too

Prep food in advance as much as possible and don't be afraid to use short cuts. Wash up or load the dishwasher every day.

I really struggle to stay on task too but I feel so much better if I'm organised for the week.

Thank you for the sympathy and the tips.

I have lists all over the place, dd is always laughing at me for it. Trouble is, I just do the easier stuff and avoid the bits that stress me out.

It would be good to get someone in to do a deep clean, but I need to declutter and tidy up first. DH is always happy to clean but moans that my clutter (and dd's clutter) make it virtually impossible. Actually, he has his own clutter too.

Half an hour after work is probably a good idea, but how to get into the habit and stick to it?

I have just made a meal plan for next week and will see what prep can be done in advance. Unfortunately, we don't have a tumble dryer but will try to do several loads of washing this weekend to try and get on top of it.

for mummy and muddling. Glad I'm not the only one like this. I don't know why I can't just get on with it!

It's rubbish isn't it?
I can't even blame work as I'm a Sahm but in my defence I have 4dc, a dog, a cat and a big house to stay on top of.
I find just trying to stay on top of washing, what everyone needs for school and all the other child related crap very hard.
My plan next week is to tackle a room on each day youngest ds is in nursery. I need to go through all the clothes, toys, a bit of decorating/cleaning marks of walls and changing lightbulbs.
I feel like we are drowning under stuff!

www.additudemag.com/adult-test-for-add-adhd/ just a thought...

Pick the things you enjoy doing and the things that absolutely need to be done (things that have to happen for the house /family to keep ticking over) and you will be surprised how much easier day to day life will be.

Once you have those under control the other stuff will happen naturally as you will have more time and hopefully be in a routine with the priorities

yellow, I have done several online tests for adhd and the like. Actually, I started a thread on it a while back. I am convinced that I have a problem of this sort, but the process for getting diagnosed looked very difficult.

Holy, I'm sorry you are struggling with this too.

Thank you fur. I think routine and habit are probably the keys to this. Just not sure how to get into a routine that works.

Have you tried FlyLady for inspirational daily e-mails? I didn't follow the program religiously, but I did find that reading the e-mails helped. I can also recommend Marie Kondo.

Also, rewarding yourself might work? Ie. do a really hated job and then reward yourself with something you like.

I tried Flylady a few years ago, but found the emails a bit overwhelming tbh. I think I'm just too flipping lazy.

I use the Ivy Lee method. You lost up to 6 things that need doing then number them from 1 to 6, 1 being the first to do and so on. Then you work through the list, doing each at a time. Do not move onto anything else until the first task is completed. Mainly use this for work things or random things that need doing.

For housework I use the organised mum method. It’s a different room each day with a 30 minute timer. Works really well.

I have a tendency to flit from task to task and start one thing and notice another thing that needs doing but those 2 things have really helped me.

Hi Alexa,

All the stuff to do can feel really overwhelming can't it? And when there is so much to do it's impossible to know where to start, so it just gets left.

I find that rather than worry about every thing, pick one thing, just one, and do it. For example, say you will hoover the living room, chances are once you get started, you will probably do the hallway too as you've started already!

Also, success builds on itself. Once you do one thing you will most likely feel a sense of relief and achievement which will spur you to do more.

Often the hardest thing is just getting started.

Good luck!!

For decluttering can you ask a friend to do it with you?
My friend and I, a couple of times a year, spend a day together first in my house and then in hers and declutter and get organised. So much easier to get ruthless with somebody else's stuff. Plus we have a laugh whilst doing it.
Still the best tip I read on here months and months ago - pretend you are the paid cleaner/declutterer. Employ yourself for say 3 hours. Be business minded and professional about it. Get decluttering/cleaning. Then buy yourself something as a reward. Obviously that only works if you have the time, motivation and money. I do it because it helps me to detach and see it as a job. Once 3 hours is up - you stop. Just an idea - it works for me.
I'm in my 40s too and I've only found a method that works for me in the last few years.
If I am having a "feel shit" day I repeat to myself that doing even just one thing, no matter how small, is better than doing nothing.

Is it constant? I find that I am more likely to get things done in the beginning of my cycle and less likely in the end of the cycle.

It helps having less possesions, less to look after. Can you fill a charity bag once a week?

Your problem seems to be that you're just doing too much. You work fulltime, you have at least one teenager, you do voluntary work, you want to take on other projects - no wonder you need some downtime at weekends. I'd say it's less about being lazy and more about being exhausted - maybe lower your expectations of yourself. Can you pay someone for a deep clean and then get a regular cleaner?

It probably sounds silly, but what do you turn to when you're procrastinating?

I find that if I'm on my laptop or watching TV I just can't break free. They are activities that almost put you into a trance, making the mental effort to break free and do what you need that much harder. I've seen others do it with a glass of wine at the end of the day- effectively, once you've taken that first sip and sat on the sofa nothing else gets done as you're going into "de-stress" mode. Comparatively, any task you need to do becomes more stressful.

Hi Alexa,

I do my 30 mins each day before I sit down after work because once I do it's game over.

So my routine is something like this:

Get up - make bed
Shower - wipe sink over and rinse bubbles from shower after use
Me and dd dressed
Breakfast - dd eats breakfast whilst I empty the dishwasher and put a load of washing in
School run then work (run errands on lunch break)
Home play with dd for an hour or so - cook dinner
Whilst dinner is in I swap laundry over and check school bag for letters etc and make lunches

Dinner
Load dishwasher/wipe table and sides whilst dd gets ready for shower
Bed time routine for dd

Then 30 mins so Ill run the vacuum around, mop, and generally tidy
Prep what I can for dinner the next day

Then I sit down

Lunches I try and do 2 days worth so it's just boxing up so things like

Marinated chicken kebabs pasta salads etc

I have one day a week at home and that's when I'll have an hour or so cleaning bathroom changing beds etc

Write all the tasks on bits of paper and stick in a hat. Set the timer for 1hr and then do as many of the things as you can in that hour. You must complete whatever task you pull out before moving on. That way you can’t skip the harder/longer/boring tasks.

If it’s takes the whole hour just to do one task then so be it. Sometimes you’ll only get one or two done, sometimes you can get lots of little tasks done.

I use several techniques:

1. Pomodoro timer - I set mine to 25 mins work, 5 mins break as this is the maximum I can manage before getting bored or distracted .
2. Getting Things Done technique ( Link ). I use the Omnifocus software to do this.
3. Productivity Planner ( Link ).

I strongly suspect I have some kind of ADD and this is the only system that's worked for me for longer than a few weeks.

I've found music to be a great mood changer when I'm sat in a rut. The right song definitely motivates me. Make a playlist. Also get up an hour earlier, you can take your time getting up and ready and then use your extra time to do something useful.

Maybe delegate a couple of jobs to others in the house. Basics like unloading/loading the dishwasher or sorting the socks.

Hello fellow procrastinator waves

Please read this: waitbutwhy.com/2013/10/why-procrastinators-procrastinate.html

It is often recommended on these threads, I must confess I had a little cry the first time
I read it as reading someone else articulating how I felt was just such a relief!

I have this printed out and stuck up on my desk at work and in the kitchen at home. The bit about “what would benefit the most from happening sooner rather than later” - this is my mantra when I’m sat on the sofa trying to convince myself to get up and do something.

Once you’re up and doing more seems to get done!

Hope you find it helpful.