How do you exact petty revenge?

[ShotsFired]

As a counterpoint to the "irrationally angry" thread, what (very) petty revenge or microaggressions do you perform to soothe your annoyance?

For example:

• I always click the sponsored link on google results for companies I don't like, because it cost them money each time.

• I will deliberately walk slower back to my car in order to avoid giving my parking space to certain brands (and conversely speed up or signal a driver of an "approved" make that I'm leaving)

• If someone won't use their words to simply say a polite "excuse me" in a shop, I will stay even longer. And even longer longer if they try and lean round me.

Mine's a driving one too, but quite a long time ago.

Driving down a road which is 30pmh, but a generous road, so it's easy to drive down it at 40.

Car up my arse, flashing lights etc. So I put up with it for a while and then moved over into the bus lane. Watched it speed past, and get flashed twice by the speed camera I knew had been newly installed.

Love the buttons and the ‘noted’ to email missives

Will be putting those in my currently empty Arsenal

I think my husband superglued his colleague’s the mouse to the desk when they were having a spat.

One hospital I worked in abroad had the cautionary tale of their horrible chief male matron. He needed a simple operation.
When it was over, instead of waking him in the recovery room, the staff woke him up in the mortuary...

When we were students we waited for a Mercedes or preferably a BMW and then pressed the button at the oedestrian crossings - I still have the same prejudice and I never let them out of s junction

How about getting over the prejudice? I drive a BMW, and I'm an very nice, kind, considerate driver - the kind who lets people out at junctions.

I do the thing with clicking on the company ads that I know will cost them money too 😂

Anyone have any ideas for being petty toward a neighbour across the street who has been a nightmare the last two years building their house? Sunday mornings at 6am, they're at it. Council have done sweet fuck all about it. We're all very sleep deprived.

When I used to share a work pool car with an irritating colleague, I used to change the preset radio stations away from the ones I knew he liked to ones that I knew would annoy him. I never even listened to the radio myself because I listen to podcasts on my phone.

I often used to 'forget' to fill it up with petrol too.

When I was an astronaut on the ISS, for a laugh I used to drill small holes in the hull but hide the sticky tape and chewing gum at the bottom of the biscuit barrel.

My neighbours pride themselves on being ‘naice’, but actually complain about every damn thing that affects their ‘amenity’ or ‘lifestyle’. Basically, anything anyone else does should be changed or done to suit their best interests. While they themselves cause no end of inconvenience to us, that we mainly chalk up to ‘life in the suburbs’.

This week, they’ve insisted we remove two mature trees in our garden, to prevent (native) bats eating the (native) berries and pooing on their special driveway. Sadly, the council has agreed to a massive pruning of the canopy, that we have to contribute to financially and may actually kill the trees .

I’ve just been browsing my friends’ tree farm website. There’s a great deal on a bulk buy of quite mature saplings. Enough to plant a whole row...of loquats and mulberry trees. Planted exactly 5cm our side of the boundary fence (now that they’ve forced us to research how these things work).

Maybe I’ll sign us up to the local zoo/university bat research project, too. Kids’ll love it!

Sorry OP, it’s just possible I am conducting Grand Scale Pettiness, and not what you meant!

How about getting over the prejudice? I drive a BMW, and I'm an very nice, kind, considerate driver - the kind who lets people out at junctions I’m sure you lovely despite choosing to own a BMW but that’s not the point!

With the signing up of horrendous people for freebies and subscriptions etc (I've wanted to do this for certain vile neighbours), how do you do it if you don't know their name? Certainly you could invent one (would a database notice Mr C Fucker?), but surely it's most effective if it has their name on?

Lighthearted, lighthearted...

My neighbours were really awful to me, to the point they'd leave me in tears - all whilst under a guise of being 'nice', very passive aggressive stuff.

I decided I'd had enough so I left a long line of syrup under their front door step so they got tons of ants. Then I ordered 5000 dandelion seeds and in the middle of the night I sprinkled them all over their precious lawn They've moved out now.

I have an irrational hatred of white Corsas and so never let their drivers into traffic.

XH refused to take his name off the joint account (which was originally mine) and I was left with no bank account and no fucking money because he refused (still does) to pay maintenance and then I discovered mountains of debt from catalogues and store cards in my name.

Sooooo I used my account details to sign the fucker up for every charity chugger that stopped me for about 6 months.

Perfectly legal, ‘‘twas my account too technically. Cost him a bloody fortune.

Bread scattered on cars is always good for bird poo. My db went one further: when his bank cocked up a large transfer, and then charged him for the very large overdraft, he frisbeed an entire sliced loaf onto their branch roof.

For more about petty revenge on banks, read Melvin Burgess' book "Junk". I'm surprised there wasn't more "gluing the banks" done for real when the bankers' bad behaviour was exposed.

Some excellent pettiness going on here, I approve

I do like the computer backdrop idea. A LOT.

Just reading your account Disco brings on palpitations as I’ve got a long drive ahead of me tomorrow
I refuse to drive at 60 in the slow lane on a motorway behind all the lorries and by the same token why should I go at more than 70 to overtake them just because a cheeky fucker thinks he has the right to try to barge me out of the way.

Grrr. I don’t know what the answer it.
Keep serving...that’s fascinating
But if you moved into the bus lane...how do you know that it wasn’t you that got caught.

I am loving this thread! There's nothing better than a bit of low-grade revenge. Keep all those ideas coming, you're all cheering me up no end.

Can't really get my head around the computer screen one though, although admittedly I am in bed unwell and a bit feeble of brain atm.

I had horrendous neighbours next door to me for 5 years.
I honestly think they ought the small 2 bed bungalow that adjoined ours without giving it any thought.
I think they saw the quiet courtyard and large frontage outside the garage as a place for him to tinker with his bikes without giving any thought to their living space.
They chucked plenty of money at it...improving it but couldn’t make it any bigger.
Meanwhile, I felt we were resented just for being there. mine is the biggest in the courtyard by a mile.
Any little thing she would be round moaning about...it was depressing.
Oh we took each other’s parcels in, said hi, stuff like that but we were always on edge wondering what else was going to upset them.
I just kept sending her love and light, had crystals along our adjoining wall and eventually they moved out.
(We improved the outside of our property which made hers look better and they put it up for sale)
I hadn’t realised how bad it had been till they’d gone.
It felt like a black cloud had gone.
There a nice widowed lady lives there now and so far, we get along fine.
We aren’t horrible honest. In fact in the summer months we are hardly ever there..we go visiting family and friends, caravan etc but it’s amazing what they could nitpick on
Famous one was our window cleaner walked in front of their windows after doing ours
We weren’t even in.

They bought

Skittles I'm feeling so angry on your behalf about your trees. Could you claim that they are providing habitat for threatened/endangered species. Mature trees are so important for providing nesting hollows & wildlife corridors, especially in urban areas. Are there other species using your trees?

But loving your idea about planting fruiting trees to attract the flying foxes. You might even be able to install nesting boxes for possums too!

Ooh loving these! I tend to be overly nice to arseholes too, smile sweetly and wave when I see them!
Currently considering revenge for a stranger who started lies about me on Facebook, suggestions welcome!

I may have taken a scissors to the crotch of most of DH's underwear at one point😆 Can't remember what his crime was though🤔

Keep serving...that’s fascinating
But if you moved into the bus lane...how do you know that it wasn’t you that got caught.

Because, Dowser

1. This was quite a few years ago (the camera was grey, not bright yellow), and they didn't fine for going into the bus lane then.
2. The speeding car was already quite a way in front of me when the camera flashed, and I was still behind the speed camera.
3. I didn't receive a fine.

Mine’s more an optimistic one.

If xh pisses me or dd off I buy a lottery ticket using ‘his’ numbers.

Legally having to share the cash would ruin the win for him!!!