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Original poster

My dh doesn’t understand why

13 replies

PowWowNow · 07/09/2018 07:59

I take offence with him asking me “do you want to fuck?” He’s been doing this quite often lately and it makes me die inside a little bit each timeSad
He never used to be like this before.

Regardless of any background story there might be/relationship problems - is this normal, am I too sensitive?!

OP posts:
LongSummerDays · 07/09/2018 08:02

It wouldn't put me in the mood for sex, so no you're not being sensitive.

CryptoFascist · 07/09/2018 08:07

It wouldn't bother me if it was said in a moment of passion. It would piss me right off if it was mentioned casually during the washing up! Just tell him you don't find his phrasing sexy, it's in his interest to be attractive to you if he's wanting sex, after all.

winegal · 07/09/2018 08:07

Has he been getting ideas from porn or something? It's weird that it's just started out of the blue. It would majorly put me off too!

Voldesnort · 07/09/2018 08:15

It sounds crass to me and not what I'd want to hear from my DH. To me he's being disrespectful if he's saying this when he knows you don't like it. So, no your not sensitive and I'd be putting a hold on sex until he stops.

wafflyversatile · 07/09/2018 08:16

Has anything else changed recently?

OzymandiasFanClub · 07/09/2018 08:17

I'd just reply 'Do you want to fuck off?'

Singlenotsingle · 07/09/2018 08:21

What a turn off! He's never going to get the answer he wants. How old is he ffs?!

explodingkitten · 07/09/2018 08:23

Would depend on the tone of his voice to me. Said whispering half out of breath while making out could be sexy. If said while lounging on the couch being bored eating crisps, no.

Ohyesiam · 07/09/2018 08:23

The only way this could be sexy is with a new lover who you have the absolute melting hots for, and spend all your time panting for them .so maybe it’s his clumsy way of wanting to introduce more exvitement into his life?
If your feeling generous you could surprise him in the shower. If not take Ozymandious’s advice.

MonumentVal · 07/09/2018 08:25

Is it the word, the timing, or the concept you don't like? If it's certain wording, think of how you would like him to ask and tell him! Similarly if it's you don't find mentions of sex during other activities erotic, tell him! Many men and women do, many don't, neither is wrong.
If you just don't want a shag at all, that's a whole different issue.

Flexoset · 07/09/2018 08:41

Well, it would put me off, and if my DH came out with that then I would ask him not to do it again. I can see how someone might try out the phrase once to see how it went down, but I've got to say it would not work for me.

But I think the big issue here isn't whether it's "normal" to take offence at this. It's the fact that you've already told him you find it offensive and he still keeps on doing it. So basically he is deliberately and repeatedly doing something unnecessary that he knows you find unpleasant and offensive. WTF is going on with that?! Does he enjoy pissing you off? Does he hope to continue putting you off having sex with him?

Flexoset · 07/09/2018 08:50

Sorry, but the more I think about this scenario, the more it sounds like your DH is either incredibly stupid or he actively dislikes you.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 07/09/2018 09:45

Well, he is making sure of your consent, isn't he?
Could be phrased differently, of course.

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