What to do when you find out your husband's having an affair?

[nostaples]

Just that. Had suspicions. Found messages on FB. What have other people done? Two teen-aged children. Married 10 years and been together 18ish. Very sad.

I'd honestly Kick his lying cheating arse out

Take screenshots of all evidence. Get all your financial things you will need to show a lawyer like savings account statements, bank statements, etc. Go see a lawyer for a free half hour. Decide how you want things to go. Then confront him.

It depends what you want.
Do you want to see if something is salvageable?
Would you be able to get over it? Would you be able to move forward?

But don't do the 'pick me dance'.

I'd think about those things whilst you get your ducks lined up.

Personally, I'd stab him in his sleep but you might want to post in Relationships. You will get good practical advice and a handhold for as long as you need

I tried to forgive mine, 5 years later our marriage is shit and I wish now that I’d just left him then.

I’m so sorry x x

You make plans that you execute when you feel more able to.

You're in shock and need to take stock of it all before doing anything. Make sure you have proof, and when you're feeling able to, then deal with it.

Same experience as somewhereovertherainbow above, but some people seem to move on , don't rush any decisions and above all don't set yourself up.in competition with the other woman.

What Shesabelter said.

Thank you so much just for responding. Feel very alone. Have devoted my life to my family and my work and there's really nothing else. Can feel it coming crashing down really. What is the 'pick me dance'. I think it's too far gone before. We had a mini separation a few years ago. Not for this reason. But I don't think we can withstand this after that. Also, I don't think I should after seeing the messages.