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Surviving a 'trial by social media'

10 replies

WhoTheFuckDoesThis · 06/09/2018 10:48

NC for this. Just as the title suggests. How does one work through the lies, accusations and malicious threats that comes from an unofficial 'trial' by social media?
Am just coming out the other side of a nasty and totally untrue vile accusation that was posted by someone I don't even know. Once it was posted, several family members I am no contact with joined in. They then said more lies-it was disgusting to see. This was shared round social media and everyone had a jolly jape, inciting others to violence against me.
Have now cleared my name with relevant authorities, they can see it was malicious and I did not do what I was accused of. Have removed social media accounts also.
It has taken a lot out of me though, the upset, the fear of retaliation by people who don't now me but believe what this person said. I've lost weight and feel awful as this has rumbled on, spurred on by more spite.
Am doing my best to move on, but I can't get over what my own family said I did. They now I have MH problems (all under control usually) and said this in an attempt to push me to a breakdown or worse.
Luckily friends and family have rallied round and I have a good support network, but is there anything I can do?

OP posts:
WhoTheFuckDoesThis · 06/09/2018 11:39

Anyone? I'm really struggling with this.

OP posts:
Leliana · 06/09/2018 12:20

I was in a similar situation about 13 years ago, while I was at university. It was very upsetting. The people responsible never admitted they were wrong or apologised. I just cut contact and, over time, it hurt less and less. It was awful at the time. You have my utmost sympathy Flowers

glintandglide · 06/09/2018 12:25

Time I think. I have has similar and had a long recovery period from the trauma (there were long lasting effects from it though)
Also, moving away and starting afresh. No point being scared to answer the door

Ginkypig · 06/09/2018 12:31

I know it's easy to say but the best way to avoid it is not being on social media or at least not being active on it.

The other option is to have the highest security on there. Block anyone who you think may become an issue (like the family members) there are settings that stop people being able to post without you approving it first. I think there's a setting now to stop you being tagged too?

glintandglide · 06/09/2018 12:34

Oh i assumed you’d come off social media longer ago. Yes that’s non negotiable Grin

Ginkypig · 06/09/2018 12:35

Sorry though to answer your question. There isn't one way to get over it. For me it would be holding on to the truth and relying on the people who love you know that too everyone else doesn't matter. Also as glin said time for the wound to heal over really.

WhoTheFuckDoesThis · 06/09/2018 12:56

thank you. My social media was highly secure, blocked the relatives a long time ago. They still managed to find pictures to use.
Moving for a fresh start isnt an option, we have jobs here, DC in good schools etc, family locally.
I've been dealing with it as best as possible by just holding my head up high and ignoring the stupidity. But I feel sick every time I see my familys post inciting people to kick shit out of me. Police have been very helpful but theres not much they can do.
I just feel so helpless, my poor husband broke down in tears. We've sheilded DC from it but even they asked questions.
I'm afraid to go to the shop alone.

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MissionItsPossible · 06/09/2018 13:10

This is so dangerous because once your name is out there it’s out there forever. You have my utmost sympathy.

glintandglide · 06/09/2018 13:20

You know what, it’s not out there forever. It will be for a while, yes. But give it 5, 10 years and people won’t be able to search for it (neither will they be inclined to) your life isn’t over. But it will take time. A few years. One foot in front of the other until then

WhoTheFuckDoesThis · 06/09/2018 14:01

Fortunately, the police had him take it down. So technically its gone but not the hatred for me that this has caused.
I have organised escorts, family and friends, until this calms down. Everyone keeps saying they will move on to their next victim shortly and forget about it. Really struggling to forget it tho and a bit jumpy.
we;re moving on from it and I still feel sick if I see someone look at me funny.

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