How do I help my 4 year old

[MakeUpGirl]

DD started reception on Tuesday after 3 years at private nursery and is really struggling with going in to class on a morning
She’s sobbing and clinging to me and keeps saying she doesn’t want me to leave her
Once she’s in she’s settling fine and enjoying class but she’s worrying whenever they’re told about something new to her and she’s bothered because she doesn’t know all the other children
She’s usually so happy, confident and chatty so how do I help her go in to class happy and ready for the day
It breaks my heart seeing her so upset

Hopeful bump

Give it time. My ds was much worse at first (crying til 11, not speaking for the first week). By Christmas he loved school and didn’t want the holiday to start! He occasionally mentions it now, 1 year on, and finds it funny that he reacted like that, so he definitely wasn’t scarred by the experience. He also uses it as a benchmark when he’s nervous about something now, saying (unprompted) “I feel like I don’t want to go because I don’t now what it’s going to be... but that’s ok because I used to cry at school and that was silly because I really love school so I’ll try it.”
If she’s fine after you leave, I’d just do the leaving bit quickly so as not to prolong it, and let her know when you’ll be back eg after tidy up time/ after story time etc.

Oh bless her

It is a big transition.

Positive reassurance that learning new things that you don't know is part of the 'adventure' of school and learning (was a teacher, used to really try to drum into my students that it's ok to make mistakes, as they are learning, and can't possibly know everything, especially at the start) look how much she knows today vs what she knew yesterday etc.

A 'worry doll' could help too, she can tell her worries to the doll (with you or privately) place it under her pillow, literally 'sleep on it' and in the morning, the doll has taken the worry away. I remember my mum doing this with me when I was little, for various worries, and it really helped.

Time too, which is hard as you can't control it...the teacher will be hopefully building lots of activities so that the children all get to know eachother and bond as a class and as individuals.

*each other

Time & consistency (& a bit of bribery if necessary) & maybe a worry monster

Both my kids were the same & they still get nervous after summer hols (& they're 12 & 8 - 8 year old went in in tears on first day back cos of worries over what they'd be doing but was totally fine at the end of the day & the following day)

Is there somewhere you leave her when you take her in & possibly someone you can leave her with. I'd often need to leave one of mine with a TA who'd coax them off, often crying, & as much as it broke my heart, I knew they'd be fine as soon as they got in. After a while of having to do this, they were fine.

I often bribed them with a special treat for the end of the day to get them to go in, sometimes worked.

I bought a worry monster (amazon) which has a zip mouth where they write their worries down & stick it in the monsters mouth for them to eat & get rid of. That helped a lot & my youngest still uses it to add worries to.

It does get better over time but I'm always prepared for the initial worries on the first day back. 9 times out of 10 they're fine after the first day & being prepared & talking to them helps.

Good luck