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Hilariously "age-inappropriate" children's presents...

56 replies

FrauleinF · 05/09/2018 14:28

So...

My MIL got my son this lovely card (pictured) to wish him well on his birthday.

He's 2.

Oh how me and DH laughed 😂 This got me thinking about my own childhood and it reminded me of when, back in the 90's, my own dear nanna went to get my weekly issue of - geek alert - Find out More magazine (where you basically collected pages of an encyclopedia in installments) as my mum was ill, and ended up with the wrong one. Reading all about More's "position of the fortnight" was very illuminating for an eight year old...

I am curious as to whether anyone else on here has received/accidentally given as a present something more than a little "age inappropriate"!

Hilariously "age-inappropriate" children's presents...
OP posts:
PandaG · 05/09/2018 20:41

When DS was about 11 my pil bought him his first condom! Not as bad as it sounds - they, at his request, bought a survival kit for him with waterproof matches, flexible thread saw, water purifying tablets etc., and said condom as an emergency water carrier. My inlaws are pretty straight laced, but we all had a laugh at his gps buying him contraceptives!

quackaday · 05/09/2018 20:43

@cameltoeflappyflapflap so we can now say that at least two men have done this! 🤣 (my ds's friend doesn't have dogs and her children are older now!)

LemonScentedStickyBat · 05/09/2018 20:46

Little teddy in bondage gear for my 18 month old. It also sang “i’m Too Sexy” when you pressed the hand. The giver was a sweet elderly foreign lady Grin

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Hoppinggreen · 05/09/2018 20:47

Our whole family are firmly atheist
None of us set foot in a church apart from Births Death and Marriages and then rarely
When my nephew was 16 I realised I hadn’t got him a birthday card and grabbed one from a bookshop near an event we were at the day before. I gave it to him with some money in and he said thanks but looked at me a bit oddly, I had written it in a hurry and not really read the message properly and a few days later SIL got in touch to ask if I was ok.
The bookshop was a Christian one and the message inside was
Happy Birthday
God loves you

LemonScentedStickyBat · 05/09/2018 20:48

My own worst one was visiting a friend for tea when she had a 5 month old. I brought cakes, including a massive chocolate muffin for the baby. Was just before I had my first child.

RebeccaCloud9 · 05/09/2018 20:55

@soupmode that's hilarious!

YearOfYouRemember · 05/09/2018 20:56

My teenage son gave me a sympathy card for Mother's Day. Taken from my supply too, just to add insult to injury.

FlaviaAlbia · 05/09/2018 20:58

My FIL bought my DS a drone when he was 4. Aside from the carnage a 4yr old controlling a drone could cause even in a wide open space, we live in a no fly zone due to an airport for added potential chaos Grin

BerriesandLeaves · 05/09/2018 21:02

cameltoeflappyflapflap
My husband bought a card for me for mother's day from our son (our son was a baby) the card said "you're like a mother to me, happy Mother's Day"
This made me laugh Grin

mabelsheen · 05/09/2018 21:11

My nan gave my dd a card saying ' congratulations you graduated' for her 6th birthday Confused not sure what the logic behind it was and didn't have the heart to ask her.

PandaPieForTea · 05/09/2018 21:11

When DD1 was a baby she was given a Russian doll. Not a set, just the one. We assume that the giver bought a set and thought ‘what a bargain, I can split this into 6 gifts’.

Twodogsandahooch · 05/09/2018 21:27

I lived in Australia with a friend for a year and whilst we were there we caught up with her long lost family friends.

This coincided with their son's birthday. Friend was about to buy him a slab of beers, but changed her mind at last minute. This was lucky as he was turning 9. How we laughed.

Imsorrylhaventaclue · 05/09/2018 21:29

I have the opposite: my gran has always managed to find the most dazzling array of spectacularly tailored cards to my situation each year. I’ve kept them as a quick reminder of what I was doing each year:

  • Merry Christmas to my granddaughter, her boyfriend and their cat
  • Merry Christmas to my granddaughter and her partner in their new home
  • Happy Easter to my granddaughter and her fiancé
Kewqueue · 05/09/2018 21:34

When I was 12 my aunt (who hadn't seen me for 4 years) sent me a D cup bra. 30 years later I still haven't grown into it!

Kemer2018 · 05/09/2018 21:35

A bottle of tweed wheni was 10. Yuk.

AnnDerry · 05/09/2018 21:44

BIL sent the DC a book about his home country which seemed charming enough on the surface - a story about the native wildlife.
However the message of it was: if you do not turn to Jesus you will Burn In Hell For All Eternity (just as the animals in the book died in a bush fire.)

Funnily enough my children never read it.

TeacupDrama · 05/09/2018 21:45

my sisters and I got an odd assortment from our great aunt one Christmas I got a chairs made from old pegs, one got a stuffed mouse the other a cat and one a velvet cushion, apparently it was to represent the nursery rhyme
"pussy cat puusy cat where have you been? I've been down to London to see the Queen ..... and frightened a mouse under the chair"

however we were 14,12,10 and 3 at the time maybe OK for 3 year old

The next year was worse we got hand knitted mustard coloured mittens not gloves mittens just the thing for fashion conscious teenagers ( no not even in the 1980's was that ok!)

UnicornPug · 05/09/2018 21:46

My mil bought ds teatowels with ducks on them for his first birthday. He did love ducks, but his drying up skills were sadly lacking.

An aunt bought DD clothes in decreasing sizes. She started at age 10 (dd was 6) then went for 9 at Christmas. Down to 8 for her 7th birthday and then, oddly age 5 at Christmas. She sends vouchers now...

MinaPaws · 05/09/2018 21:48

Guilty. Long before I had DC of my own I gave my DSis's DC a Southpark DVD because it was cartoons and I knew they made DH laugh and he has a silly sense of humour so I guessed my nieces would find it funny. DSis had words. Several.

InterstellarSleepingElla · 05/09/2018 21:50

Not age inappropriate but bought my husband a boyfriend card for valentines (we'd been married for about 6 years at that time!) 😂

Silentnighttwo · 05/09/2018 21:51

My Dad received a full-sized dart board and darts for his 3rd birthday from his uncle (childless). That mysteriously disappeared.

The following year (aged 4) his uncle gave him an antique beer tankard that plays a tune when you lift the lid. He loved it and still has it.

Thebluedog · 05/09/2018 21:53

Mr friend was having a bad day I think, and bought my dd a ‘paint your own plastic stained letter’ she bought her a Abut her name begins with an M then a card with a 9 on it, she was 6 - told us to put it upside down Grin

villainousbroodmare · 05/09/2018 21:53

Bow and arrows for DS delivered to the hospital when he was born. The arrows were the suction cup type. Must see if I can find it now that he's three.

llangennith · 05/09/2018 21:56

When DS was 15 (and living at home, with me) he gave me a birthday card saying "Happy Birthday Mum. Sending you these birthday wishes across the miles." Confused
He's always read the sentiments carefully on every card ever since!

cortex10 · 05/09/2018 22:00

Years ago - DM bought a badge for DS aged 5 with a picture of a fox that he'd seen and liked - it had a slogan in small writing that said 'For fox sake ban hunting'