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Original poster

How and when to explain house move to a nearly 3 year old?

12 replies

MaryBoBary · 05/09/2018 08:49

We currently live in the SE, in a privately rented house with our DS who will be 3 in December. We have lived here all of his life and are about 20 mins from my ILs who he has a brilliant relationship.

Due to financial difficulties we will be moving in with my DM (she has a separate annexe for us but we are welcome to use as much of her large house as we want to) in 6 weeks. My DM lives the other side of the country, about a 3 hour drive away.

How and when should we explain this to our son? Is it better to explain early so he has longer to get to grips with it, or should we only tell him about a week before so he doesn’t have too long to get upset about it?

Any other top tips to help make the move easier on my son?

I had thought maybe the ILs could come with us on moving day for a couple of nights and that might help settle my son, rather than leaving them behind. But I don’t think the timings will work for that at BIL who lives abroad is having a baby this month, and ILs are likely to be there visiting the new baby when we move.

Please help me make this as easy as possible on my boy! I’m feeling very anxious about it all.

OP posts:
Original poster
MaryBoBary · 05/09/2018 08:51

To clarify, the move will mean we can become debt free, save for a deposit for our own home and have a better quality of living day to day so my son will be able to experience more exciting things. We will also have a car which we don’t have currently so that will be a massive bonus for all of us. We are making the move ultimately for our son and to ensure that he has the security of a house to inherit if anything happened to us.

OP posts:
Believeitornot · 05/09/2018 08:53

You’re feeling anxious but you may make your ds feel extra anxiety if you talk about it too much. Because he’s pnly 2, he won’t have any concept of when/time. So I would mention in passing at an appropriate time eg when you next see/speak to your mum.

Then as you start packing stuff up, tell him everything will be moved to a new place.

Then when the move comes, again just tell him. Keep calm, happy and he’ll take his cue from you. From his point of view - he has little to worry about. You’re still around, he’ll have his routine, it’ll just be in a new location.

Original poster
MaryBoBary · 05/09/2018 09:03

Thank you believe. It definitely makes sense to me to tell him nearer the time, but he’s not great with change (as I assume most 2 year olds aren’t) and I’m concerned he won’t have time o “warm up” to the idea. But like you say, he will take his cues from us so as long as we are positive and excited (which we are) hopefully that will be enough.

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InezGraves · 05/09/2018 09:05

We thought we might have to move when DS was three or four were renting, and the LL put the house on the market and what worried him was not understanding what would come with us and what wouldn't. We didn't move in the end, but what helped him was talking through in detail exactly what would happen, that all his toys, the furniture etc were ours, and were coming with us.

usernotfound0000 · 05/09/2018 09:11

We told DD as soon as we put our house on the market, mainly because she had to come with us when we did house viewings and I had to explain to her why the house needed to be clean when people came to view ours. She was just under 3 when the process started, she was a bit unsure to start with but once I explained that everything was going with us, she was fine and then quite excited, she liked helping to pack her things up. We moved 3 months ago and she's been absolutely fine, they are more resilient than we realise!

user1471459936 · 05/09/2018 09:14

Make sure you emphasise that ALL of you are moving, not just your almost 3 year old. Sometimes too much emphasis is put on their new room etc. Also, all toys are coming with you etc.

GloGirl · 05/09/2018 09:22

Usborne have a lovely book.

Pack important bedroom things alongside your most important items so you can set him up a very recognisable bedroom on the first night - e.g. same gro clock, bedding etc.

Then ask him to pack his own bag with what he needs. Don't lead this too much fairly certain my kid only grabbed something she saw just then and had no attachment to it Grin But it was her choice and we were packing up to take our things to the new house and she's got Annabelle doll packed too etc etc

Original poster
MaryBoBary · 05/09/2018 09:24

Thank you everyone, this is all really helpful

OP posts:
StylishDuck · 05/09/2018 09:31

We moved recently with our 3 yo and 6 month old. She was excited to move to the new house because we explained the old house was too small for us now, she was getting a bigger room, all her toys were coming with us, she was getting a garden.

Unless he's a particularly anxious child I would expect he will take his cues from you and if you're excited about it, so will he be. At the end of the day at that age as long as they're with you they don't really mind where they are.

Mumatoo · 05/09/2018 09:34

If you have a tablet there’s a free Sesame Street about moving. It’s called The Big Moving Adventure. It might be a fun way to introduce the idea.

Ginorchoc · 05/09/2018 10:38

I moved house when my daughter was that age, don’t think I explained other then we are moving to a new house. She doesn’t even remember moving now.

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