Funny Fake Childhood Illnesses-

[LanguageAsAFlower]

Just discussing things we used to do as children/teens to get out of school/get given Calpol back when it was sugary.

I used to douse myself in talcum powder and put the thermometer on the radiator, then shuffle in weakly to my mum, who I can only assume was so tired of my dramatic fake illnesses that she used to vaguely entertain this.

My friend used to rub Vicks under her eyes.

I also faked an eye test because I wanted glasses like Jarvis Cocker until the clearly savvy eye lady made me cry by telling me if I couldn't see any of the letters they would have to put a special acid in my eyes...

Tell me of your/your DC's best fake/exaggerated illnesses!

I had a radiator next to my bed and remember pushing my head against it so I would have a temperature - think my mum knew when I had red stripes on my forehead - or dipping the thermometer in my tea - think I broke (the old mercury glass) thermometer once!

I also remember pretending to be ill and my mum giving me calpol - but it was orange calpol and I hated it so much it made me sick - so I got off school anyway

God I was a little shit!

I didnt fake illnesses but i waax always desperate for glasses , that or my ears pierced i got my ears pierced at ten , noe im nearly 45 and and cant quite read small print glasses dont seem all that tbh .

My mum overheard her grandmother talking when she was about 6 and told her Mum the next day she couldn't go to school as she had 'very close veins'

I did the talc and radiator thing once. DM rang the GP and got an appt about 30 mins later. I was pretty worried as she marched me down the road. By the time we got there I had German Measles! I was such a goody goody, that even when I was actually ill I faked it.

My friend used to toothbrush her eyes to make them look sore

I made fake sick once (food colouring was involved) I put it on the landing carpet just by the bathroom, like I hadn't managed to get there in time. My gran pretended she believed me and sent me back to bed.

Unfortunately the food colouring stained the grey carpet and it was there until she changed the carpet years later, not sure the guilt I felt over that was worth the day in bed

All the local children had chicken pox at the same time and were off school. They spent their days in their gardens on their swings.
And their mums would buy them things like iced buns for a treat!

My dad was an artist, so I painted my chest with hundreds of red dots using his Windsor & Newton water colour paints and a fine sable brush

Fooled my mum til she put me in the bath

I love these! Such devious children! I particularly love "very close veins"

Walking to the tube and my little brother refused to walk any more because his knees had a headache.

The story has gone down in family folklore.

I faked a migraine once and spent the day in bed eating hidden stash of chocolate and reading stack of crap magazines I'd bought for the occasion, it wasn't that long ago...