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Original poster

Should DH take this new job? Advice please!

26 replies

dArtagnansCrumpet · 04/09/2018 20:08

Hello, DH has been offered a new job but we're not sure whether he should take it. The main reason we would go for the new job is a 12ishK, pay increase from 38 to 50k which can include extra bonuses from time to time. Bonuses are rare at his current job. It would be same working hours but new job would have an hour dinner rather than half hour (which he would probably work through anyway). The major drawback is its about 10 miles further away than his current job and they want him to work 8 until 5 whereas now he does 7.30 until 4 (but tons of unpaid overtime hence looking for a new role). New job won't budge on the hours and with the extra travelling time he'd be home about 1hr15 later than now. Problem is, we have a disabled son who we need to do physio with each night for 30 mins and we usually do this at 5pm each night, although this is time limited for around 12 months. It's also great DH is home at tea time to help out! His old job are really casual and he can take time out for appts etc if he needs to. We could do sons physio later on but he's usually so knackered and routine oriented I can't see it happening but the extra £450 or so a month would be massive for us! Not sure what to do, what would everyone else do? I don't have any other friends.to ask Smile

OP posts:
travailtotravel · 04/09/2018 20:12

I'd take it if he wants it and it gives him a chance to progress. However you also need to be comfortable with the change in routine as you will have to manage it. Can you buy some help with the extra income? Change other things so you all have a routine change?

You might also find that when things settle down in the new job they may be more flexible. You need to take the gamble they might not though!

Bigpizzalover · 04/09/2018 20:15

Could he work half hour lunches instead of the 1 hour allocated and finish half and hour earlier?

I don’t see why the 10 mike journey adds over an hour to his travel time, I work 21 miles from home and averages about a 45/50 minute car journey. If he finished half an hour early, you could start the physio and DH could join you as he should be home much later.

What would the £450 allow you to do, compared to what the new hours would take away (eg less time with DS) and what’s the most important?

FWIW, I recently took a job promotion that means I have gone from 2.5 - 5 days a week, getting home an hour later than usual, I’m still home in time for bed, and I’m much happier as I’m not worried about money any longer - this benefits the children.

Bigpizzalover · 04/09/2018 20:16

Sorry about all the spelling mistakes haha!

Original poster
dArtagnansCrumpet · 04/09/2018 20:19

Theres more chance of him progressing in this company as there are less people above him I think. If they would let him finish even at 4.30 we could squeeze his exercises in, we could buy in help but then we'd have the reduction in income we've just gained, I know carers aren't cheap. Argh not sure!

OP posts:
NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade · 04/09/2018 20:20

Are you in receipt of any carers allowance or dla?
Perhaps hiring a carer to assist with physio for the evenings that your partner is unavailable would be something to think about.
x

SilentHeadphones · 04/09/2018 20:20

Do you do the physio together because he wants to or because you need two of you?
Could you get up and do it first thing instead of the evening?

Singlenotsingle · 04/09/2018 20:21

He shouldn't turn it down if it's a good career move AND a salary increase. Maybe at some stage, if it all goes well, you could move house to be nearer the job? Easyish if you're renting, maybe not if you've bought your house Confused

Butterymuffin · 04/09/2018 20:22

I would be careful about taking a job where they are very inflexible if this is such an advantage for you in managing family life and your son's disabilities.

NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade · 04/09/2018 20:23

Sorry just seen your update.
I'll post a link to some benefits available to families with a disabled child. Some, such as dla are non means tested, meaning your partners wages wouldn't affect a claim.

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/financial-support-if-you-or-your-child-has-a-disability

Original poster
dArtagnansCrumpet · 04/09/2018 20:43

Yes we receive some dla for my son, we use it for the private physio, we need two people one arms one on legs. If I was to hire a carer for say even an hour five days a week, it's more than the dla we get. We live very frugally, no holidays, I'm desperate for new clothes as is DH, we pretty much track every penny tbh. That's why money sounds so appealing. We want to. Move out of the area eventually we own the house and ds is at a sen school so need to consider that.

To the poster asking about the time difference, currently finishes at 4 and takes 45 mins to get home. If he finished at 5 it would take him an hour to get home hence he would be 1hr15 mins later if he took the job.

OP posts:
Believeitornot · 04/09/2018 20:45

You said that the physio was only for a year?

So your dh could take the better paid job and you temporarily employ a carer?

SilentHeadphones · 04/09/2018 20:55

Have you spoken to the physio? I only ask because they may be able to give you modified exercises to do alone and then the others at weekends. Clearly, it depends on the actual exercises, and over time they may change anyway.

Butterymuffin · 04/09/2018 20:56

What other job opportunities are there in his line of work and / or your area?

Original poster
dArtagnansCrumpet · 04/09/2018 21:09

There are some jobs in his sector, this job is about 5k over average in the area for his type of job.

OP posts:
Original poster
dArtagnansCrumpet · 04/09/2018 21:09

And yes a temporary carer could work for long term gain.

OP posts:
flowery · 04/09/2018 21:12

A £50k job in which he gets to finish at 5 and be home by 6? I’d snap it up!

Original poster
dArtagnansCrumpet · 04/09/2018 21:18

It's definitely a 2 person physio job sadly. He would probably take it if it weren't for this physio thing.

OP posts:
theworldistoosmall · 04/09/2018 21:26

Talk to the physios again. There will be something that they can do. They will come across situations all the time where two people simply aren't feasible. There will be amendments and adaptations that can be made and used. But because they know at the moment you are both available, they won't be suggesting them.

SilentHeadphones · 04/09/2018 21:26

What if you all get up at 6? Do physio in the morning before he leaves?

TokyoSushi · 04/09/2018 21:29

I think he should take the job, there will be a way to work the physio I'm sure, in the morning? Carer for the year? I expect you'll adjust to the new routine fairly quickly and the money would come in really handy...

cricketmum84 · 04/09/2018 21:32

@Bigpizzalover I think it depends on where the job is based. My FH works 8 miles from home in a city centre and it can take him 50 minutes. It took 1 hr 15 mins for him to get home tonight.

cricketmum84 · 04/09/2018 21:33

DH not FH although FH is more like it sometimes 😂

theworldistoosmall · 04/09/2018 21:33

Also if your son has an EHCP, in some circumstances funding can come from this.
There are also other grants that may be available to help,
Physios should be able to give you more advice about all of this.

EmeraldVillage · 04/09/2018 21:35

Move the physio to the morning?

SilentHeadphones · 04/09/2018 22:00

About the physio again, maybe there would be a way to have e.g. modified Monday, Tuesday, assistance on Wed, mod Thurs & Fri, both of you weekend. Then you wouldn't need to pay someone for every day.