Workplace persona.

[Undercoverbanana]

We all have to work. Some of people us are successful, some of us not so and some of us really, really struggle for all sorts of reasons.

In a recent discussion with a couple of friends, one friend declared that it is all to do with your workplace persona. Not who you really are or what you really care about or think, but a persona for your job.

I have absolutely no idea how to invent/nurture a workplace persona.

It makes sense to me though. I couldn’t give a toss about the people I work with or my job. I hate it. But if I could invent this persona, perhaps I could wing it.

Is this what other people do? I have no idea how to get through my working day without a piece of me dying. Do I need a workplace persona?

Apologies for the garbled first paragraph.

No, you need a new job.

Possibly. It depends on how comfortable you are with playing part. Some people can separate themselves and feel fine about it, while it makes others feel a fraud.

But if you hate your job, look for a new one.

60sname - I think I would be in the same position in any job. I’m 50 and have worked since 16 (14 if you include holiday/weekend jobs). I’ve been the same in every job. The problem lies with me.

standstilling - if you don’t mind me asking - how do you deal with work?

I disagree with your friend. If you have to have a persona to be perceived as successful you are working in corporate hell. As a manager I look for people who get their work done on time, in full without mistakes. If they do make a mistake, which I expect to happen because people who get things done make mistakes, I expect that person to come to me with a suggested solution mapped out. If someone never makes a mistake I get very suspicious. It nearly always means that person is hiding their mistakes. As a manager that scares the crap out of me.

The best job/workplace will be the one that plays to your strengths and allows you to be natural self then you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not.

Want2b - friend claims her workplace persona has saved her many, many times from smashing a chair into someone’s face or from just, plain walking out.

There are subjects I do not discuss at work. I manage to avoid swearing. I am dressed reasonably smartly, unlike outside of work.

That is as far as my workplace persona goes.

Not a persona as in a fake personality but I think a lot of people conduct themselves differently at work. That's not always a bad thing.

E.g. Out of work in very introverted and happy to be alone, don't cultivate massive groups of friends etc but in work I make an effort to be sociable, get to know people etc because it helps the team to gel.

Some people might be quite sweary out of work, but regulate that in work.

Equally, I find oversharers at work the worst. There's some things that don't need to be shared in the workplace and a workplace person could be someone filtering (e.g. probably don't want to be that person sharing about the fact your child had a fungal nail infection)

I found when I first stepped into leadership one friend would get frustrated that I wouldn't chat shop as much with them (aka give them insider info) and that i'd become 'one of them' (leadership). I hadn't, it's just that in the possession of need to know information I wasn't about to go gossiping and being the leak because it betrays other people's confidences. In terms of work persona it mattered to me that people saw me not being loose lipped.

Maisypops - that’s interesting. I am hugely introverted at work - avoid eye contact, try to keep my head down and say nothing. Outside work I am confident and energetic and often think up ideas and plans.

People don’t try to talk to me much at work which I like. I’d rather be invisible.

Some of the best advice I was given was to be myself at work. A very successful person told me that the people who have work personas are those who burn out or get miserable... we spend too many hours at work to exhaust ourselves pretending to be someone else.

Why do you think you’d rather be invisible at work?

Undercoverbanana
I think of it as being adaptable.
For my role I've got to get people on board and get buy in for ideas/approaches, have staff feel they can see me with issues etc. so being solitary would hinder my ability to do my job well.
Choosing to be a little bit more outgoing at worl is opting to use my people skills to get the job done in a kind and pleasant way.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore
Doesn't it depend on whether the work persona is a fake personality or whether the work persona is someone adapting for the workplace?

I often find the people who make a fuss about 'this is just me and I don't do workplace personas' tend to be the ones who are quite brash and at times abrasive. Whereas most people adapt a bit for work and are easy to get on with because part of getting on with others is being flexible.

@Undercoverbanana I'm a blander, quieter version of me. I have learned through painful experience over many years that I can easily talk too much, say stupid stuff and swear unless I concentrate on saying as little as possible. Currently, my job is field-based so I'm not in the office much. If I was, I would spend more time cringing in the toilets about something I'd just said.

How old are you? It's gotten easier as I've aged.

Sorry, just seen that you've said how old you are.

Why are you unhappy at work?

I don't have a workplace personna,I'm my usual self,just less sweary.

I disagree with the idea of a workplace persona too.
I can see what people mean in that they 'conduct themselves' slightly differently at work (less swearing, or more restrained with their instincts or feelings) but I think that is surely the case with any decently brought up person, when in any 'community'. You respect that you are in the same office / factory / site / building / team with these people on a daily basis, and you need to rub along with them even if they might not be the type of friends you would choose to spend time with, so sometimes you are politer with your words than the thoughts you might be thinking inside your head. I wouldn't say that was a different persona though.
I think trying to pretend to be someone you aren't, for all the hours most of us spend at work through our lives, would be exhausting.

OP - can you put into words why you are "hugely introverted at work - avoid eye contact, try to keep my head down and say nothing" when you also say that "Outside work I am confident and energetic and often think up ideas and plans". It seems so contrary. If you are confident, why can't you speak to people at work ??

That's the thing. I enjoy what I do in part because I'm good at it. You don't by it isn't clear if it's a management issue or confidence in your competence. You can't fake it till you make it when you fundamentally don't enjoy or are good at what you do.

You say you have always felt the same at every job. How different have each of your jobs been? What you define as 'successful'?

Changing the train a little but I've always wondered how some people do certain jobs and live a normal life.
I knew a guy for years who was a solicitor and he was the sweetest guy and it turned out that his whole job was kicking people out of their homes and he was especially good at kicking people out if they were in a contract by basically either scaring them or convincing them they were wrong etc. He'd made a lot of families homeless and lots of them were normal, good tenants. He must have had some way to detach from that? He donated a lot to charity and was so nice to everyone but his job was vile.

I used to work with a firefighter who I also knew socially, he was completely different at work to how he was around friends and down the pub, and he was promoted often due to his professional attitude. Personally I'm the same person socially as I am at work---- but then I'm not particularly ambitious.

witchmountain - I suppose I want to be invisible because I feel like a fraud at work. I feel all floaty and detached. I can’t concentrate or focus and feel that I don’t know anything. I want to take the pay and run for the hills. I feel inadequate, paranoid and jittery. I have poor MH and it is so much worse at work. Finding a new job (as some have suggested) is not the answer for me as I would just be taking all this into a new environment.

BackforGood - Everthing at work feels like a sort of dream. Time goes at a different speed and nothing feels real. I am paranoid and feel it is all a trap. I’m sure this is all linked to my MH problems and this is why I was interested in my friend’s idea of faking a new persona to cope with my job.

Want2bSupermum - I suppose before my mental health went wrong, I was doing ok. I feel like a child at work now. It’s so hard to explain. I get a lot of panic attacks. HR are all over me like bloody vultures and I feel so threatened. I am signed off again so HR will be back on my arse again. I need to earn money and am just trying to navigate a way to do it.

Successful for me, just means holding down your job. I have no ambitions (actually loads that are not work-related and I am achieving loads outside of work) and just surviving to 5pm would do me.