Feeling angry - mixed emotions - need someone to calm me

[cjt110]

So, long story short, I am feeling like a balled up bag of emotions to do with things of which I have no control over. Perhaps that's my issue.

FIL has been ill. Looks as though he has cancer - again - and organs are suffering.

My Mum has broken her arm, near her elbow and it has been missed, and dismissed by her GP for 5 weeks.

My son starts school this week.

I'm essentially sat on my own at work all week this week for 8 hours a day.

I just want to shout, cry, scream.

Shout and scream away. Any one of those would be a lot to cope with

I haven't felt this balled up with anger for so long and it's like it's all come at once....

How do I unpick it all

Have you got something you can punch? A pillow or suchlike?

Tbh it gets more and more like that when you are dealing with kids and ageing parents. So although it is stressy hopefully you have friends/sibs whk can relate.
Getting out for walks does wonders!

Try the Headspace app for some mediation exercises. They have themes like anger, worry etc. It costs but think there may be a free trial.

Can you go for a really brisk walk? Somewhere in the open air with greenery or by the water?

If you cant go out, i find loud music on headphones and "Angry" cleaning or doing heavy garden work feels productive and a release.

Saying your feelings out loud, writing down why your wired, then close the book and do something relaxing.

Might also help to name the individual emotions , rather than blunt anger - disappointment your mums arm wasnt spotted sooner, sadness at your fil diagnosis, trepedation over your son starting school. Once you appreciate all the different emotions you can start to process them.

ohfourfoxache Nope.... nothing such like in an office.

picklepost No siblings or real friends really.

Just stuck my earphones in at work Timeforabiscuit At least if I;m on my own, I can't not hear anyone! And yes, individually owning them might help.

I just want to shout "Fuck off!" at someone.

Can you get a bundle of paper, and just scribble on it to vent some of the frustrations? Not writing or drawing (unless you want to) - just scribbling and letting out some of the pent up feeling?

And if you have time to get to a chemist or health food store, pick up some rosemary oil (for concentration), bergamot (for calming), lavender (relaxation), and black pepper (soothing) - use an empty bowl or mug, fill with boiling water, and put a couple of drops of each on top near your desk.

It does sound like a big set of issues to come together and those won't get rid of anything, but may help to take the worst of the edge off to allow you cope with things, and start to organize plans of action.

I might be projecting and way out here but when I feel like that it’s anger masking sadness. You’ve got so many worries right now your mind will try and protect itself.
If you’re on your own at work and if it’s reasonably private why not just let it out. Ugly cry with the situation you’re in and how difficult everything is just now.
You’re allowed to sad and overwhelmed, I understand you have to hold it together for everyone but you don’t have to have it all together all the time.

Nonibaloni I think you are spot on that the anger is masking stuff.

I just feel so useless. My husband is, understandably, upset, shocked and other emotions but is trying to deal with what may happen. He has sparse details as we don't really know what's what at the moment. I am trying to give him space but also worry as he shuts himself off and clams up.

Biddy the pen and paper thing sounds good. I feel like I have a huge sigh, sitting inside, waiting for that release you have when you finally do it. And though I keep sighing, it doesn't come.

Feeling useles is frustrating as all hell. Waiting for information always makes me tense consciously or not.
I can’t really help just sympathise. I bet you don’t want to let your husband see your feelings, you want to be strong for him.
What kind of place do you work? Anything you can violently throw into the bin? Shredder?

Nonibaloni Just an office. Nothing fancy. Nothing to shred. Clean. Or bin :(

Trying to lose myself in a book online but my concentration is shot.

That’s a shame. Other distractions: mobile games (mindless candy crush types), personal challenges (clear your entire inbox, make an elastic band ball, reorder your computer) , mumsnet obviously.
You can’t distract yourself for ever without it affecting you but maybe just to get through the day. If you were my colleague, even if I didn’t know you well I would listen. Or is there anyone nearby, a mindless chatterbox might be good too.

Nonibaloni Have shared with 2 of my close colleagues what's going on. Just had a 5 minute inane waffling session with one about weight loss, teabags, sugar and other stuff.

That’s a great start. That was 5 minutes talking about tea bags which I bet got you through the next 5 minutes. Your colleagues might be helpful or they might not, if not you can’t redirect some passive aggressive anger at them (not something I usually advocate but hard times and all that).
There is a way through. You’re recognising it and that’s a good start.
I’m coming out of a truly crap time right now, what I found worked was being honest with professionals. So for example when you speak to the school say “I’ve so much going on now and I’m really worried about Jimmy starting school”. They’ll offer more support, even just a thumbs up at he end of the day, and they’ll not judge because it’s normal. Same with drs and nurses. And the postman and the woman who cuts in front of you and whoever else can add to your worries.

Yes, I did some PA stuff with "teabag" colleague about 5 mins before the teabag chat... followed by a prompt apology from me for my short response basically telling them to get stuffed.

I am like a bear with a sore head when one of these moods descends. Luckily, I can see it and just try and keep a low profile to avoid upset

do odd things to let off steam.. drive the car to somewhere and park up turn up the music and sing as loud as you can, even thru the tears, go home and turn on the music and have a dance off with the mirror ! buy some sickly sweet creamy yummy thing and tell it how much you love it then try to squish the entire thing in ya mouth in one go!!!! go to the store and set alarm clocks to go off in 5 min intervals and then hide in a clothes rack and wait for it to start... go try on the ugliest clothes you can find and take selfies and then post them on here :O im sure others can find some weird ways to let off some steam, and once you do a few and start making it a challenge you will be hard pressed to do anything without laughing ya nut off... you dont have to be strong every min of the day... let go sometimes ;)

Apparently FIL had his MRI yesterday. Not sure when he will get the results. MIL is on her way to the hospital now. Not sure when the bone scan is.

Thank you to all for your messages. They are keeping me going

Sorry for the delay, been doing some passive aggressive distraction of my own. Hopefully you have more info about FIL now, good or bad it’s better to know.
More things that can either force tears or vent aggression: kicking a new bag of toilet roll up and down the house, saying really horrible vile things about pedestrians when you’re alone in the car, finding the worst things you can imagine on tv so you feel better about yourself (horders and football in my case), facebooking stalking and the classics, chocolate and crisps.

Feeling much better today. Home visit by son's teachers complete. No further news yet about FIL. My Mum has an appoiontment organised at the fracture clinic for next week

Feeling much better today. Home visit by son's teachers complete. No further news yet about FIL. My Mum has an appoiontment organised at the fracture clinic for next week