Lateness

[Dolphin1986]

First time poster and seeking advice on lateness.

It's a real bug bare (bear? Never get it right!) of mine.

FIL and his wife are terrible for lateness. Meeting them for lunch / dinner / taking out DS / dropping off DS (3yo)

DH and I never get a phone call or text to let us know, we always have to chase. We never get a simple sorry or anything. I understand sometimes it's unavoidable but most of the time it's generally down to their bad time keeping and just not paying attention.

We expect it most of the time and when arranging a time to bring DS back we factor this in but it's just getting worse.

Most of the time it just means DS is then eating later than normal or in bed late which for him has a horrendous knock on affect. (Fri / sats don't bother me)

DH has tried speaking to his dad about it and just gets told yeah we'll stick to timings etc but then doesn't.

I have terrible anxiety as well which adds to the issue, and I bit of a control freak! 🙈

I don't ever feel I can say anything as we all have a very strained relationship anyway.

Any advice on how to not get stressed about it or a way of putting it across to FIL there are reasons for times with a 3yo?!

Sorry for no paragraphs, I did do them but for some reason it hasn't kept the format. So annoying reading it like that!

Anyone?

I think I would just get on with what I'd been planning to do, at the time stated - so, not wait to set off on a journey, not wait to order lunch if you are eating out. If they're supposed to be picking your DS, have a back up plan so you can cancel if they don't turn up within a reasonable time.

You have talked to them and they've made no effort to change, so the time has come to take a firmer line - if they don't arrive on time, they miss the event.

Bumping for you as I'm the only one to have answered so far .

Thanks!

I know I can be a bit of a control freak at times, and have anxiety so worry that things bother me when they shouldn't!

It's difficult when they turn up late, with no message etc, because we don't want to say anything in front of DS and then sometimes it feels like we've missed the time to say it. DH won't say anything in front of his Dad's wife as she over reacts and makes things 10 times worse!

Will try to be firmer next time 😣

I'm chronically punctual too, and find lateness annoying. I wish I could get back all the time I've wasted in my life hanging around waiting for people who don't seem to have any concept of arriving on time.

Totally agree!