Anxious regarding flight

[Threeboysandus]

I have a terrible fear of flying. Haven't been on a plane in a long time but had a moment of madness recently thinking that my children will grow up resenting me for the lack of holidays abroad so booked a trip that requires a 2.5 hr flight.

I have lorazepam to take but I'm petrified and seriously thinking is there another way I can get there...this would me very long ferry journey and train (and do would fly with boys).

One half of me is thinking this is best idea and the other half of me is saying don't be stupid, get on the flight!

I would say definitely get on the flight! I am a worrier, so can relate, but once you have faced up to your worries and gone ahead anyway, you will probably feel a real sense of achievement!

When are you flying? Try downloading 'Flying with confidence' by BA captain Alright.

I used it before a flight recently and it did the trick.

React, regulate, relax, rehearse is the mantra in this book. You use an elastic band on your wrist for the react part which alerts you to the fact that you're panicking. You regulate your breathing and relax your body which stops your brain going into overdrive. Then while relaxed you rehearse in your mind how well the flight will go, imagining yourself relaxed while waiting to board etc.

I practised this before flying and when I got on the plane, I made up my mind that I was concentrating on breathing and the pilots were concentrating on flying.

I didn't need any meds at all in the end. Only an elastic band.

I’m scared of flying - I manage without tablets but I still don’t enjoy it. Take plenty of things to distract yourself - I find a puzzle book is good as it involves more concentration than reading. Games on phone / tablet. Music to listen to. Books. Plus you have children and they’re a great distraction!
Rather than seeing it as 2.5 hours, break it down into smaller chunks. 30 mins - by the time you’ve done two lots of that, you’re nearly halfway there! That’s what I do and it helps. Do you know what it is that scares you? I know logic doesn’t always apply to fears, but it really is a safe way to travel. So many people do it without a worry, they wouldn’t if it was unsafe.
Be reassured that you’re not the only one - I’ve seen a few similar posts on here over the summer. Do it! You’ll be so proud of yourself afterwards!

Definitely take the Lorazepam and enjoy the holiday.
Try to stuff those other irrational thoughts re ferries etc, away in a mental locked filing cabinet.

The book is on Amazon and you can also download a guided relaxation recording to go with it.

I flew while under a lot of stress once and panicked about flying. Like you I didn't want my son to be held back in terms of travel so I booked a short haul flights and bought the book. I managed the flights - I was a bit nervous on takeoff but otherwise was fine.

I have flown many times but had two horrible flights in quick succession ( one landing met with a fleet of emergency service crews and another turbulent flight with lockers flying open, trolleys freewheeling down the gangway and passengers being sick and screaming). I worked myself up on subsequent flights and had extreme anxiety.
Breaking up the flight into manageable chunks is good advice and lots of distractions that let you immerse yourself is a good idea. I find a really good book that I can lose myself in for a few hours a brilliant way to forget where I am.

When is the flight? I can't recommend enough the easyJet Fearless Flyer course. It got me back on a plane after 14 years of avoiding them! It comprises a 3 hour seminar and a short experience flight the next day. Take a look on their website - it's life changing!

I used to love flying but about 4 years after having DC I no longer do. I think I feel out of control of their safety whilst so high off the ground doing something we are not obliged to do. I still though fly because we love holidays abroad.

This summer, we had a four hour flight (which I booked!) so I took my kindle, downloaded boxsets to my phone and bought a puzzle book and the flight flew by.

I also reminded myself that there are thousands of flights a day and they take off and land safely.

I'm worse after having kids too. Apparently it's very common.

Take the flight but prepare as pp recommend. I bought Glenn Harrolds Fear of Flying audio download which basically does as others have mentioned - walks you through the experience mentally and gets you to practise feeling positive about it.

I am a very anxious traveller and this has helped. I also bought the audible version of Michael McIntyre's autobiography, which is read by him, and have closed my eyes and listened to this on every flight I've taken the past few years. It really helps me because it is funny and helps me relax and pass the time and ignore my anxiety and essentially the fact that I am flying!. So I recommend something like that - whatever appeals to you.

Get on the flight for your kids. You can do it!

I also hate flying, but my desire to travel is stronger than the fear (at least until I get on the plane!). The medication will help a lot, allowing you to cope with, if not enjoy, the flight. Medication, cool water, calm breathing. Take s magazine to read as you may not be able to focus well enough on a book, if DC are older take headphones and music or an audiobook- if they are little you won’t get enough peace to listen.
I get DS to buy s meal deal before departure so I know he’s fed and watered and can eat and drink and entertain himself as he wishes.
You've got this.

I would go on flight. I have flown a reasonable amount never had a bad shorthaul flight, occasionally delays but very smooth. Longhaul a few rough ones, just had 20 hour one with heavy turbulence a lot of way DS meal went flying etc and had previous one where they lost an engine mid flight (they have 3 engines) but I just think they do loads of these flights safely everyday. Longhaul I find you can get bad turbulence but statistically its safer than driving. Having activities may help like a meal, a book, etc. It opens up so much more of the world to see and you will be with your family and teaching them not to be scared. My Dad also told me when flights go wrong its normally in first minute so I count to 60 then feel safe. I always feel there's a minor risk but I want to live before I die and there's a minor risk in everything.

Apparently turbulence isn't any danger for the plane.

Sorry for late reply, just wanted to thank you all for your brilliant advise. I made it to Spain in one piece! Took 1.5 lorazepam, the take off went well and most of the journey, then once we got to barcaloma it was very turbulent but for some reason I was able to rationalize it all and stayed calm. My do couldn't believe the different in me! Whoever gave the suggestion of breaking it into 45 minute sections, thank you that really helped! I told so after and he was like so that's why you kept asking me the time!!!

I calmly played Nintendo with my son, even did a bit of reading which I have never been able to do on a flight!

Glad you made it fine, have a lovely holiday. Turbulence is the worst bit but once you realise its still safe its fine.