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I feel like my DS has had a crap summer

34 replies

ziggiestardust · 03/09/2018 16:08

At the beginning of the summer, I had so many grand plans. Even though we weren’t going away (new boiler and kitchen re wire put paid to that!), I’d thought of heaps of activities for my DS to do.

Unfortunately; 1 week into the holidays my Grandad passed away, and as they live at the other end of the country, it meant several trips up and down to get things sorted and arranged. My mum normally helps out with childcare; but it was her dad who had passed so obviously that put paid to a lot of activities as she didn’t want to come back to DS during this time (understandably so!).

My MIL has helped out but obviously she could only manage certain days, so my DH and I swapped onto nightshift alternately (we work in engineering and they all take turns providing overnight cover, he volunteered to do more shifts so we were popular with our work mates!) so that I could work in the day, and he could work at night and still take care of DS across the day... and vice versa.

None of this is an ideal situation obviously but we basically worked night and day to basically ensure DS was taken care of. We’ve tried our absolute hardest to keep him occupied and entertained, and not let on how stressed we’ve been. We’ve hosted play dates several times per week, taken him out swimming, gone to activities (karate, football, museums) and taken him out and about... he’s at least been to the park every day for a scoot round. We’ve tried, but a lot of days it’s been fairly minimal.

Now we both have 2 weeks off, and had planned to go out and about with DS in lieu of a holiday... but we’re so bloody tired, and there’s so much that needs doing after juggling absolutely everything pretty much for 6 weeks with barely any help (which I’m not complaining about by the way, it’s just the way it is and we’ve organised a better, much more sustainable childcare situation going forward!)... well. It’s not been amazing for poor DS, put it that way.

We have both been burning the candle at both ends for 6 weeks, we’re absolutely fucked. I just feel like this summer has just been shite for DS, and I feel awful about it. Every morning he’s asked ‘what are we doing today?’ And if I’ve said something not particularly exciting (chores/back to school shopping/food shopping/whatever), he just goes ‘oh, okay’ and has a bit of a sigh and goes and plays for a bit. Like I know he’s disappointed. We’ve tried our best and I know it hasn’t been good enough.

This morning he said he couldn’t wait to go back to school. What’s worse is, I know all his friends will have had amazing summers (from the look of social media they’ve all been on holidays, loads of days out...) and we’ve barely been holding down the fort and keeping everyone clean, fed and sane.

I don’t know really why I’m posting. I just wanted to vent I guess. Here’s to a better summer next year Wine

OP posts:
softkittywarmkitty28 · 03/09/2018 18:41

Ditto here! Had grand plans but have been ill and spent most of it in hospital with dd being passed round between friends and family, trying not to dwell on it too much and will make sure next summer makes up for it

Atthebottomofthesea · 03/09/2018 18:59

I watched Up the other day (and sobbed my heart out) My favourite quote is Russell.

"That might sound boring, but I think it is the boring stuff I remember the most."

Now I am really not saying you have done boring things, but sometimes it is the little things that they remember the most.

The other day ds said 'Can we go to the place we played Minecraft for free?' We worked out he was talking about a museum exhibition from 2/3 years ago.

He will have made memories of things you don't expect.

Elflocks · 03/09/2018 21:53

Flowers Sorry for your loss, op.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Mishappening · 03/09/2018 21:56

Your son does not need a madly exciting summer - he needs to be part of a loving family and the experience of you all supporting each other at this sad time is better for him than any "treats" or outings.

Crunchymum · 03/09/2018 22:03

I have Arthritis and on bad days I can barely walk. We've done very little this holiday!!

Thankfully we live within hobbling distance of several parks so we have been out most days to have lunch / a few hours in the park.

MIL and family have helped so kids have had a few days out and stuff but I feel so bad. They are still young so not yet so sandwiches in the park still suffices.

Sometimes life gets in the way and it can't be helped..don't worry OP!!

lots33 · 03/09/2018 22:12

My family are probably one of the irritating ones looking deliriously happy on fb/ instagram - my partner loves posting, I find it excruciating and embarrassing! The truth -we are v lucky and we’ve had a lot of uk holidays/ days out. My partner does not work. HOWEVER, I am self employed and have worked every day, inc most evenings and every weekend, the kids have been grumpy/tired/ tantrums all the usual, we have had no child free time for 6 weeks ( no families) and I’m beyond tired. So please don’t believe all you see on social media, it really isn’t all it seems. I bet your DS has had a lovely summer. 😀

Prusik · 03/09/2018 22:33

Just something to consider, op. I tend to upload pictures and bits that we've done to Facebook. Mainly because I look forward to the 'facebook memories'. It's airbrushed, I guess, but I'm looking forward to seeing how they've grown

Fakeflowersandlemonade · 03/09/2018 22:48

OP I will never forget two summer's ago we had saved up all year to take DC abroad for their first holiday. We had a great time, saw loads of things, did loads of things. The rest of the summer holidays were filled with various crafts until the final week we decided to decorate our bedroom. We spent a lot of time in diy shops. I thought nothing of it but a few weeks later we passed one of the many diy shops we had visited and Dd said "oh look mam there is the shop I spent my whole summer holiday in" I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. I'm telling you this as kids see things totally different to how we do. I thought we had had an ace summer but clearly not. Your DS mat have just enjoyed chilling out and being off. Don't beat yourself up about it. Life gets in the way sometimes it's literally life.

Dillydallyingthrough · 03/09/2018 22:58

We’ve hosted play dates several times per week, taken him out swimming, gone to activities (karate, football, museums) and taken him out and about... he’s at least been to the park every day for a scoot round.

OP this is more than most kids do in the summer! Much better than 2 weeks abroad and 4 weeks sat at home on a screen, which is what I hear from most kids (work closely with children).

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