Safety tips for finding a new flatmate

[TheTeaFairy]

My DD (aged 20) needs to find a new flatmate because her friend who shares with her is moving out.

At the risk of sounding like a paranoid mum what's the safest way for her to go about this?

I'm worried about potential male flatmates going to look around the flat and then knowing where she lives don't get me started on my fears about what might happen as a result.

She says she would be happy to live with a guy or a woman. It's a two-bed flat so there will only be the two of them living there. She is fairly relaxed about interviewing complete strangers potential flatmates; I am concerned for her safety.

Any thoughts or advice? TIA

Has she asked round her friends to see if they have anyone they know who needs a room?

Yes, it's all over her FB…

She hasn't found anyone yet. Needs to be a professional (no students allowed).

Bumping

Maybe advertise the approximate location, loads of pics of the inside of the flat or a video, but do the initial meet at a local coffee shop/bar etc. She can then gauge if she feels happy with this person and then make a second meeting at the flat so that person can look round?

Thank you super, that's good advice. I'll pass it on to her

What super said! That, or having a friend there when she holds the viewing. If a prospective flatmate cannot grasp the reason why, he or she is not the kind of person I'd like to live with anyway.

Agreed pasturesgreen.

It's about managing potential risk sensibly. If only I could convince her of that…

I think part of the problem is that, at her age, recognising red flags doesn't necessarily come naturally.

I know I'm biased but she's lovely. I just want her to find someone lovely to live with!

What super suggested is ridiculous I'm afraid and no potential renters will go for that.

I'm an LL and have shared houses, so I advertise rooms a lot. There is a lot of competition (ie loads of rooms available) and people looking are very averse to wasting their time. If you try to suggest meeting anywhere else than the house/flat you will get no takers at all.

The best place to advertise is Spareroom. There you get a profile of the flat hunters and a photo. Any screening needs to be done by a phonecall/Facetime. Then it's just a case of using common sense and gut instinct.

I've been meeting potential tenants, in a house alone, for 20 years and I'm still alive to tell the tale.

So I think you're being very a bit paranoid. The most you could suggest is that she invites a friend over at the same time as viewings. It's also a good idea to schedule viewings at roughly the same time if possible (she can even pretend someone else is about to come even if it's not true). But really there is no way round this.

Most people aren't potential murderers. The real danger is moving someone in who is a pain in the neck to live with.

Use easy room mate or spare room. Have someone with her for the viewings.

She can advertise for female only if she prefers.

What super suggested is ridiculous I'm afraid and no potential renters will go for that

It’s complete ridiculous. So not suggest this.

Most people aren't potential murderers. The real danger is moving someone in who is a pain in the neck to live with.

Also this

I know you're all right about risk and most people aren't potential murderers

Take me back to the baby days. This stage is too hard

I'm a few years older than your DD but have done my own fair share of flatsharing, and have been on both the flathunting and flatmatehunting sides of the equation.

Despite many years of flatsharing, the worst story I have is of the one who had a breakdown and drank all my booze - but he was only ever a danger to himself (though I nearly throttled him for his excessive tidiness). Another moved out and left his coffee machine and his dog behind (I wasn't upset about that!). The rest have been quite normal - some have remained long term friends.

She should be really upfront about what she's looking for in a flatmate. For instance, I prefer living with men, and always advertise for someone who actively wants to live with a dog, is of the chatty and friendly variety (can't stand the variety that hide in their rooms like poltergeists), and is reasonably clean and tidy but not obsessively so (yes, I'm going to leave mugs in the sink for a day or two).

I've always found that the most successful flatshares are ones where, at the viewing, the conversation flows. I always allocate an hour per viewing for that reason. I've rejected people for a variety of reasons - one because he turned up wearing a t-shirt with a picture of a naked woman on, and turned out to be a builder; I wasn't sure it was a sign of a feminist man. Another was turned down for the less petty reason of wanting to let her guinea pigs free range in a flat that contained a terrier; the inevitable bloodbath wouldn't have been good for flatmate relations.

Don't try and do a meeting in a public place first; she'll come off as batshit, and a timewaster, and only those who are themselves either batshit or desperate will come forward. If she does it all via Spareroom then there will be a paper trail; if it makes you feel better ask her to text you a list of people who are coming to view in advance and text you after each.

Thank you Avocados. That's made me feel a bit better!

Good idea about getting her to send me a list of potential flat mates before she does the viewings.

One day in a decade or so I'll stop worrying about her