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Original poster

End of summer sadness. I cant be the only one.

101 replies

Unsure123123 · 02/09/2018 21:09

I hate the holidays being over. I like my family at home and I love the light nights and days out.

I work full time as does dh but we always try to get time off in the summer. Every year the children go back, the nights get dark and my mood goes down, anxiety goes up. I struggle. This is the first year I'm on anti depressants in readiness for the slump. Everyone else seems to like the children going back and the change in season but I don't. I feel sad. I feel loss hitting me hard and I feel I don't cope well. I can't be alone in this. Tonight I could cry as my family is broken up again and swallowed into work and school. I am so lucky to have everything I have and I want to be grateful not sad.

How do others make the transition. Teach me how to do it better.

OP posts:

DinosApple · 03/09/2018 05:51

I've had to work the whole summer, but I still hate the kids going back to school.

I've adore them being off despite having to muddle through with childcare. (Last minute let down meaning I only had one day of holiday club booked.)

And yes this time of year makes me anxious too. Perhaps a hang up from my own school days and worrying about moving up. Now I worry about the DC instead!

mrsjackrussell · 03/09/2018 06:04

Do you feel low generally in the winter or is it just missing the summer hols? I'm saying that because I use a light box for Sad in winter and feel so much better for it. It's starting to get darker now. Could be a mixture of both.

mrsjackrussell · 03/09/2018 06:05

@Dancer12345 I have a lamp called a lite book and it's fab.

BitchQueen90 · 03/09/2018 06:35

Another one here who has also had to work but not looking forward to the holidays ending. I feel in so much more of a rush having to add school runs into the mix.

DS goes back Wednesday. I need to get his school shoes today.

brizzledrizzle · 03/09/2018 06:42

Me too. I'm starting a demanding new job which will mean less time at home, thankfully is only temporary until January but I need the money. I'll hardly see my dcs until xmas

Bananamanfan · 03/09/2018 06:47

I feel the same too. I work full time, but took a week off at the start of the school holiday & last week (back to work today 😪). My little ds has only just turned 5 and is going into year 1, I'm sad for him. He and DD have been getting on so well the last couple of weeks.

Roo2012 · 03/09/2018 06:53

Yep, I'm another one. Even though I've mostly been working everything has been more relaxed. PP who described the hamster wheel YES! I didn't want to go to bed last night because I knew that meant it would be over.

LegoandiPads · 03/09/2018 06:59

I hate this time of year. I get really down this time of year. I love the holidays love having the children home and this term is just shit.

This year i have a plan to try and stave off the worst of it.

I’m going to do an hour of excercise everyday, stop drinking until Christmas and write a todo list every day

penguinsnpandas · 03/09/2018 06:59

I love the summer, had whole summer off work and went to Australia, bought a lovely house and kids are starting lovely new school on 6th. I will miss them but they are excited and I love seeing them learn, develop and find new friends at school. Darkness I hate, weather don't care too much apart from limits outdoor activities. One thing I found was finding good indoor activities, when they were younger we went to David Lloyd and had many happy hours there in a hot swimming pool and playing on the play area chatting with other Mums and kids. Trouble is you need to goat least 3 times a week or its not value for money so dropped now.

If there's things you hate like say Christmas try and see if anyway of changing. If there's any nice activities you can plan that can help the pre Christmas one start mid November but can book up early. Helps me to have something to look forward to. Trampoline parks can be good fun for kids. The cat recommends staying in bed and cuddling her. 😎

Spudlet · 03/09/2018 07:01

I'm a spring and autumn person but winter is a slog where we are, so do feel a bit wistful at this time of year. Vit D is definitely meant to help, I think the Danes go through it in truckloads (based on one book I've read, so a v accurate and scientific opinion here ). Also I'm fond of having something to look forward to - even if it's just a day out. Maybe plan some nice days out at half term?

penguinsnpandas · 03/09/2018 07:02

You don't need a goat 😂 though maybe could try.

FupaGlory · 03/09/2018 07:03

I love having my kids around and the relaxing of time etc with no rush. I also like structure and can struggle with long summer break

Chottie · 03/09/2018 07:06

I'm another one not looking forward to the treadmill again........

Yogagirl123 · 03/09/2018 07:06

Really dreading them going back to school & college too. DS1 has had a very long break, it’s been lovely being together the whole summer. DS2 heading straight into his GCSE year. Never mind not long to Oct hols.

SandunesAndRainclouds · 03/09/2018 07:07

Me too.

I want my DDs with me, free to go where we want and when we want. No pressure about going to bed early to get up at the crack of dawn to get ready for the school run. One of mine has learning difficulties and is going into SATs year... DH has just started a new job with ridiculously long hours... I’m going back to work after being a SAHM for a few years. September feels like a huge mountain looming in front of us. I am going to miss them all so much.

KERALA1 · 03/09/2018 07:08

Me too. Summer is heaven time with the family, day after day, warmth. Fantastic holiday together. Feeling melancholy. That said this period of the year up to Christmas does have lovely aspects. Feb to April I struggle with this winter just gone felt like we were living iń bloody Narnia month after month of grey cold. Will never understand those summer moaners how can anyone prefer that

Kewqueue · 03/09/2018 07:09

Me too! I also haven't been home for months as we do a house swap with relatives. I am dreading going back to our house as I don't like where we live.

Igletpiglet · 03/09/2018 07:14

Unsure123123
Winter sucks doesn’t it! I also dread it.
What I find helps us a proper SAD lamp, with high lumens, set up
Somewhere close to your retina, and use it Daily ( the sada website was quite good for rental options but is closing soon)
You’ve done the right thing with the preemptive hit of antidepressants, and sharing your feelings here.
PrCtically speaking- if you can divide up things into mind body and soul, and make sure you are topped up in all of these week by week, you should make it through the Winter.
That might include having some mindfulness time in soul, psychotherapy sessions in mind, gym or anoutdoor walk in body. Making. List now of things that usually make you feel good, to draw from when you find yourself heading for the pit.
Print out some of the photos from this summer xx put them everywhere xx
Brilliant thread. I’m sure there are lots like us x

madcatladyforever · 03/09/2018 07:17

I sympathise greatly I normally love winter but this year as I'm just divorced I know I'm going to be on a real downer.
I also live in a beauty spot that is alive with tourists and buzzing all summer but in winter is bleak so I'm not looking forward to it.
It's been so lovely walking by the sea with the sun out and with the cold mornings I'm already feeling down.
The best thing is to make the house really cosy and get some snuggle clothing, that always makes things better.

ISpeakJive · 03/09/2018 07:17

Hmm I wonder how many of you have 3 children 7 years and under AND are SAHM mums?
I adore my children but my god I want them back at school....

Ignoramusgiganticus · 03/09/2018 07:21

I'm sad. Just the thought of going back to bleak weather, the cold, gloom and damp and having to wrap up, is depressing.

TheSassyAssassin · 03/09/2018 07:22

Another one dreading it all. I think part of it is also the fact another year has gone. DD's only got a couple of Primary years left and it's all going by so fast! We've had such a lovely summer this year and we have got on so well and really loved each other's company and when we hit the school / work routine again, some of that closeness disappears into the nagging about homework, the rushing to school and to and from activities, the both being knackered from school and work. Summer has felt really special this year and the weather has helped hugely with that. I don't want it to end and am going to miss DD loads, along with the freedom we have both had together. Sigh

Growingboys · 03/09/2018 07:23

Everyone get Vitamin D immediately - I had SAD for several years and tried a light box but it was too enormous to use.

Vit D sorted me. I take it religiously. Do it!

Needsleepneedsleep · 03/09/2018 07:27

I won't miss the heat we had over summer but I will miss the long light evenings and summer in general.
Missed out on much of this year's summer because of a big landscaping project we didn't have a back garden from mid June through until only two weeks ago. It has been a noisy, dusty few months of living on a building site.

MaverickSnoopy · 03/09/2018 07:27

@ISpeakJive I have 2 under 7yo and am due to have my 3rd in a few weeks and am a sahm. I also have sciatica and pgp and awful back pain and have suffered with this for months. I've also not been sleeping well and I'm tired and worn out from the summer holidays but I'm still sad about them nearly being over. I will miss having my children around (even though they have end of summer holiday itis and often not getting on at the moment) and will miss much of what everyone else will on this thread. I can't imagine not missing the summer holidays with my children, you only get 18 and a big chunk of those they're not going to be interested.

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