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Original poster

Who's in the wrong?

23 replies

youarenotkiddingme · 02/09/2018 16:12

If an underage person made a web of lies and deceptions to get something done they were underage for but had a 'parent' consent who is in the wrong?

•the child for telling 3 lies and going against parents express wishes
•the adult for trusting the consent they got from child's parent was genuine
•or the person who accepted the consent and age specified from the 'parent' and do what was asked?

OP posts:
AfterSchoolWorry · 02/09/2018 16:13

Tattoo?

They'd all be in the wrong.

Timeforabiscuit · 02/09/2018 16:16

If the child was gillick competant (able to understand actions and consequences) then they would be getting it with both barrels.

They not only did something forbidden, they manipulated and coerced others to do their bidding and if its an underaged activity putting someones license and livelihood at risk.

PotteringAlong · 02/09/2018 16:17

What actually happened?

Original poster
youarenotkiddingme · 02/09/2018 16:56

Not my information to put full facts online.

I'm concerned that someone will get in serious trouble for not checking ID when I believe they acted in good faith as believed a parent was consenting to the procedure. The parent doesn't technically need to consent for over 16 (they just verified they were) but do need to consent for under 16.

I'm genuinely wondering who is actually to blame in this situation so I can be involved in the capacity I'm being asked to with the full facts.

Child is definitely gillick competent and had informed parent they were getting it done whether they let them or not.

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 02/09/2018 17:33

I think you need to go to the specific trade, registration or licensing body as appropriate and ask them for advice.

I dont think anybody is in a position to comment without full facts and the timeline, and even then it would be a matter of looking at differences between industry best practice and the letter of the law.

Good luck!

PattiStanger · 02/09/2018 17:52

I understand why you don't want to give anymore details but I can't see how anyone can give a valid opinion without them.

Original poster
youarenotkiddingme · 02/09/2018 17:58

Someone did something to the body of an under 16 when an adult (30's) said they were 16 and signed form as guardian/ parent of that child.

Person who signed believed they had consent of parent to do this after 'contacting parent' previously to check having asked child for their contact details.
Obviously the person they checked with wasn't the actual parent!

The person who did the act didn't ask for ID for the child (they could easily pass for 16) and took the word of their 'parent' of the age and the fact they were the parent/guardian.

I just wondered who or if everyone is at fault here. Don't want to let my own personal opinion cloud my judgement.

OP posts:
ClandestineAdulation · 02/09/2018 17:59

I’d say that everyone is at fault.

NotTakenUsername · 02/09/2018 18:04

My opinion:

The person who provided the service for not checking,
the person who did the act for pretending to be someone they weren’t,
and the child for being impressively manipulative and sneaky!

all are in the wrong.

Only guiltless party is the actual parent.

Original poster
youarenotkiddingme · 02/09/2018 18:06

Would you hold the child equally or more accountable than the others?

OP posts:
Original poster
youarenotkiddingme · 02/09/2018 18:06

Yes I agree parent is not in any way to blame. My heart breaks for them Sad

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HollowTalk · 02/09/2018 18:07

They are all at fault. The child is manipulative. The person who signed is completely stupid and the person who did it should have a complaint raised against him.

Original poster
youarenotkiddingme · 02/09/2018 18:11

Yeah makes me wonder if now we have to check all passports and birth certificates of people who need consent for body altering procedures. It's quite scary that someone could be closed down for taking the world of a 'parent' that they are the parent and taking their word of age.

It's a shame 1 persons desperation for something has created what may be a massive thing and a latent is left devastated at the wake that's been left behind.

OP posts:
NotTakenUsername · 02/09/2018 18:18

I think the child will probably be treated most favourably because of their age.

NotTakenUsername · 02/09/2018 18:19

Yeah makes me wonder if now we have to check all passports and birth certificates of people who need consent for body altering procedures.

Sounds like a very good professional practice to implement.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 02/09/2018 18:21

“Yes I agree parent is not in any way to blame. My heart breaks for them “

Assuming it’s more serious than a piercing or a tattoo then ?

CrispbuttyNo1 · 02/09/2018 18:24

How old is the child? If they can pass for 16 then they must be in their early teens. If this is something the child wanted, and was determined to do at any means, and is happy with whatever it is, then in my opinion the person who lied and acted as parent/guarantor while knowing the child wasn’t old enough is the one who should be blamed.

Lollypop701 · 02/09/2018 18:27

Depends tbh. The child... if they know what they have asked for then if over 14 then they are responsible. I have a 14 year old... he’s not stupid. Short sighted but that goes with the territory. He made a decision, and lives with the consequences. Which would be very very harsh. Which may he why my kid won’t try it on

LynetteScavo · 02/09/2018 18:51

I'd say the middle person is to blame...they signed to say they had authority, so it's definitely them IMO.

Having said that...the person carrying out the procedure should have asked for photo ID. They need to tighten up their procedures. In the eyes of the law I suspect they are also to blame.

I don't think the child is to blame. And if they are, they are the one living with the consequence.

I needed to have photo ID for both myself and DD for her to have her ears pierced, and rightly so.

Original poster
youarenotkiddingme · 02/09/2018 21:10

I had the same thought as lolly that the child is to blame - yet probably is short sighted in realising some things are permanent! Or rather really grasping what permanence is.
But then I thought most children of 13-15 think they know what they want and it's an age thing iyswim?

Then i thought I'd NEVER sign consent for someone else's child even if the Karen's had told me to my face I could because it's me leaving the signature and paper trail!

I thought the person at the parlour will probably be held most to account yet if child had admitted to being under 16 then the person saying they were the parent could still sign for them.

But ultimately the person most to blame - the child who went to great lengths to get what they wanted - probably isn't the most complicit because of age etc iyswim?

I'd be most angry at the other adult too.

OP posts:
Original poster
youarenotkiddingme · 02/09/2018 21:12

A piercing wouldn't be so bad - at least it could have removed and I think many teens get piercings behind parents backs.

At least we did at that age Grin

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SassitudeandSparkle · 02/09/2018 21:21

I don't think MN is the right place to ask about this tbh, as all involved bear some element of guilt and it seems like an issue that a professional body should be involved in.

Original poster
youarenotkiddingme · 02/09/2018 21:25

I think they are. I just wanted to see how others would react and what they'd think and do.

OP posts:
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