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Need help with DS(7) dealing with emotions effectively.

8 replies

YourNextShitIsAHedgehog · 01/09/2018 16:46

DS 7 is usually a great kid. However since around a year ago he's just being really difficult. He's moody, shouting at me without any good reason, answering back. More often than not it's just out of the blue. I haven't told him off or anything so I just don't understand why he becomes so angry and defensive over everything.

I've recently had a baby and i would say it's got worse since then, which is understandable. However, this means I've got a lot less patience and I am increasingly snapping at him for giving me attitude. Add to the exhaustion of having a a baby and him speaking to me with disrespect is making me pretty miserable.

I don't know what is going on. He wasn't like this. I have a feeling it's something to do with him not being able to deal with some negative emotions and he doesn't know what to do.

For eg. Today he was playing outside and he came in. Slammed the door and screamed "don't tell me to put me shoes away" I said nothing. He then went into the living room and screamed "don't even talk to me or ask me anything". I asked him why he was giving me attitude for no reason and he yelled again at me. When I say yell, I mean proper screaming at me.

DH was there and asked him what was up and it turned out that his brother had thrown a ball on his head on person which he obviously got annoyed about. This pissed him off and then he dealt with it by screaming at me.

It's like he doesn't know how to deal with negative emotions. I don't know if this is the issue but I'm struggling to get to the core of it.

I've tried showering him with cuddles and love but even then he finds something to scream at me about. He's always telling me I'm mean and everything is all my fault. It's getting me really down. I love him but he thinks I'm horrible.

OP posts:
MeanTangerine · 01/09/2018 16:52

How many kids do you have and what are their ages?

YourNextShitIsAHedgehog · 01/09/2018 16:53

I have 3. 7, 6 and 4m old baby

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YourNextShitIsAHedgehog · 01/09/2018 19:45

Bump!

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whatwouldnigellado · 01/09/2018 20:07

There is an excellent book called "don't let emotions rule your life" for teens. Whilst he's young for it, might be worth a look as a way to help him start to understand

lemony7 · 01/09/2018 20:12

6yo DD is being like this. We were going mental trying to deal with her and one day I sat her down to talk about it. We worked out she was getting overwhelmed with stuff and couldn’t identify her emotions/feelings.

We enforced a calm down area for her to go to when she feels shouty, and got her a worry monster for her to write down her problems. We also try to talk more and for her to tell me when she’s upset, rather than losing it. It doesn’t work all the time but it’s better. Good luck.

lemony7 · 01/09/2018 20:15

Oh, also, she shows me an emoji of which best represents how she feels, and we talk to work out why she’s feeling like that and how her body feels.

picklepost · 01/09/2018 20:16

At a guess I'd say he has a processing problem. perhaps read up on sensory processing disorder and oppositional defiance disorder to see if either of those resonate.

YourNextShitIsAHedgehog · 01/09/2018 20:32

whatwouldnigellado thanks I will have a look at the book.

lemony7 thanks. Those are some really helpful tips. I don't know what a worry monster is but I'll have a Google.

DS is downstairs having another sulk after another outburst. I ended up going on my own with the other kids and left him at home with DH. He is totally fine with everyone else but me.

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