Is this normal for school now? Am I being PFB?

[MilkyWaysandTea]

My DS started school (Scotland, P1), two weeks ago. It is all completely different from what I expected and I just don't know what to make of it.

The classroom is almost like a play room, except the teacher has one table of six. The children who aren't at the teacher's table have playtime, but during that they are supposed to complete 'challenges' that are laid out in the classroom and collect lolly pop sticks.

DS keeps getting into trouble He was on 'the rocket' (this is bad, he should have been on the star) for being too noisy during playtime and not completing his challenges. This meant he got no Golden Time at all and was sent to the HT's office for a 'chat'

At the beginning of this week I was really cross with him but the more I've thought about it, it just seems really unfair to expect a four year old to bypass the Lego and organise his own learning?

I had a meeting with the teacher yesterday and came away even more confused as she spoke a lot about play-based but, after all, punished him for playing.

I don't know what to say to him.

Honestly OP, I think I'd be looking at other schools to find one that actually teaches children before your son decides school is a dead loss.

Good luck

I’d be talking to the teacher about the use of discipline - it’s ridiculous that he’s lost golden time by Tuesday, there’s no incentive for him to behave well for the rest of the week. At that age usually kids start each day afresh so whatever warning etc they had the day before is reset so the child doesn’t feel demoralised before they start.

Play to learn is a well researched process for early years education being rolled out in some local authorities in Scotland - it may be worth asking to meet with the early years teaching support who are specialists in supporting schools with implementation.

I am so, so disappointed to be honest :( Thank you.

At our school, losing all of golden time is a very big punishment reserved only for the worst of crimes. I’ve just asked my own children and none of them can think of anyone in their class who had ever lost it all. They THINK that one boy lost of all once for multiple fights. That’s in 7 years !

In our P1, the children might do these tasks but work in groups, each group with an adult helper. Children wouldn’t be expected to stay on task without support. And certainly not by this stage in P1, when lots of them are still 4 and they all are just settling into school.

If I was you, I’d be asking for a meeting with the teacher and, as nicely as you can manage (ie without losing temper) say that your son seems to be struggling to understand the overall process and how he gets his jobs done and how can you (parent and teacher) work together to help him get more confident with this as he is getting sad and demoralised which, as I’m sure you will agree, is not what we want two weeks in, is it? (winning smile).

I say do it nicely, because this is the start of many years of biting your tongue at times, as you’ve got to work with the teachers and not be ‘that parent’ that goes in all guns blazing every time. You need to save the anger for when you really need to use it (took me til P6!)

At our school, losing all of golden time is a very big punishment reserved only for the worst of crimes.

My poor little master criminal (they only give half an hour and they lose it in ten minute slots).

I cannot believe that this is is second week of school and I am worrying avout this. I really can't :(

Our kids lose time in 5 minute increments and they always have the chance to win it back my Friday . Which nearly always happens of course, as the teacher makes sure to catch them being good.

I was asking my high school aged kids about this and my 15 year old son has just told me that he lost 5 mins in P1 because the Pandas were talking. He then asked he if it was sad that he still remembers this!

That’s how seriously they take losing golden Time . No wonder your poor wee P1 is upset.

I do think his school have very high expectations of new P1s. I’m wondering if it’s a private school ?

Sounds horrible. I'd also be looking at other schools. The teacher even left you confused after your meeting how on earth is a 4-5 year old supposed to understand what she wants.

think my ds would have discovered fairly quickly that the thing to do would be to go and put the lolly sticks in the box and then get on with playing

Kids were routinely asked to fetch their completed work form each tray so they know if the task wasn't complete.

But I doubt tasks were rushed or incomplete - like a coil outing chalege scribbled quickly. Not suprised they had no incentive to 'do well' focus or consentrate on the task as the lego or water table was calling

The school sounds pathetic.

I would start looking for other schools and, in the meantime, start working on the assumption that actually learning stuff like reading and maths is something I'll have to cover at home with my kid at the weekend.

I had almost exactly the same with my now 11 year old when she was in reception. I ended up moving her several years later and wish I'd done it sooner. She does have ADHD diagnosed now, and I think the self directed learning disguised as free play just didn't work for her and she was punished unfairly too soon. I'm not at all suggesting your son has SEN, just that it doesn't work for all children and punishing them is certainly unfair. I was so baffled when they first called me in and told me she wasn't doing the required tasks during free play, and when I asked what they meant as tasks during free play would make it a structured activity, they said oh yes it is free play but the tasks are hidden such as looking for letters when they choose to play in the sandpit and she will only make sandcastles. 🤔. So any child who thrives with self directed play and has a good imagination will fail this ridiculous way of learning.

Seems to be all about sticks and nothing about carrots.

OP - can you ask if you can spend some time in the classroom? Then maybe you can fully understand this lolly stick nonsense and translate it for your DS at home. My DS would no way have been able to follow a set of instructions it had to be one at a time and a reminder for him plus some role play at home. If your DS doesn't understand the sequence it's only logical for him to "play up" .and should indicate to teacher to explain again.

Scottish primary teacher here....play based learning is absolutely the right way forward, research proves this etc etc but I’m appalled that (especially this early) the school is using this behaviour system and expecting a child to manage everything. Punished for being a normal child at play?!!

I’m very anti stars/rockets/traffic lights/golden time anyway, those systems do more harm than good, sounds like the school/teacher haven’t quite got their philosophies sorted. I think if probably be having a chat with your DS about how he’s meant to organise himself (a lot to cope with when he’s just started school!) & about eg why the teacher might need him to try not to be too noisy, as he might disturb others etc. Which is really what I think the teacher should be doing (nicely) with all the children & spending the first few weeks training them up in the system. While remembering why play based learning is effective and developmentally where the children are. It might be worth making an appointment with the teacher to discuss things (pleasantly).

I find it extremely unreasonable to expect a four year old to complete challenges without any promoting at all. If he was six months in and was used to the system then fair enough. But if someone stuck you in a room full of new and exciting things and said you must complete weird and boring tasks x y z by the end of the day but otherwise do what you want would your four year old self remember the tasks and do them just because someone said so once?