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Original poster

For the love of God why won’t my baby nap?!

26 replies

Lulette · 01/09/2018 11:59

Aaaaaaargh!!!!!!!! Baby (13 weeks) is screaming because she wouldn’t nap, now she is overtired but despite white noise, rocking, being taken for a walk, stroking her forehead she is wide awake! I even caved and tried feeding her to sleep but no joy.

I’m trying so hard to get her into a good nap schedule to improve her night time sleep but she just resists everything.

Am I alone or does anyone else have a baby who prefers to cry about being tired rather than actually go to sleep?!

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 01/09/2018 12:12

It's a bad time for sleep that age.

Could she be in any pain? Did she start to drift off while feeding at all? Could you try a dummy? Do you have a rocking chair?

I found it sometimes helped if we sat in the nursing chair in the dark, skin to skin under blankets and rocked back and forth. It may take a while but should work eventually.

Do you put down regularly for naps to avoid overtiredness. I think they can only be awake an hour at this age.

TittyGolightly · 01/09/2018 12:13

Start of the 4 month sleep regression.

TittyGolightly · 01/09/2018 12:14

It’s why attemptiong any sort of routine in the early days is yesterday pointlwss.

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TittyGolightly · 01/09/2018 12:14

Utterly pointless, even.

GreenTulips · 01/09/2018 12:16

Could she have heart burn?
Keep her upright and head above stomach at all times

Put her in her cot, head raised with a towel - go and have a cup of tea

NotSoThinLizzy · 01/09/2018 12:20

Pretty sure there's a sleep regression around that time. Keep calm it'll pass 😊 my wee one wont sleep ever. longest he's ever slept is 3 hours straight 😂😂

TittyGolightly · 01/09/2018 12:21

Or stick her in a gro bag on your bed and have a nap yourself.

Harveyrabbit76 · 01/09/2018 12:27

I had exactly the same problem with my DD or months. Sleep regressions don't help either. DD always got over stimulated and then overtired and sometimes would be awake for hours. Make sure your DD is completely full, even try formula.I am convinced that continually rocking mine did nothing apart from winding her up. Keep lights low or off. Try and put her down before obviously tired. Whatever you do, try not to feed to sleep. I fell into that trap and I ended up being drained dry and stuck in a dark bedroom for hours. Download the wonder weeks app, I found it really useful.

TittyGolightly · 01/09/2018 12:28

Whatever you do, try not to feed to sleep. I fell into that trap and I ended up being drained dry and stuck in a dark bedroom for hours

That’s early parenthood!

Harveyrabbit76 · 01/09/2018 12:32

True! I am determined not to do the same again with my next one due in November but I know I will probably do whatever it takes to get it to nap.
I do second the whole routine thing though, I read loads of books detailing how to get into a routine and just none of it worked. Just don't feel pressured. It didn't help that MIL kept saying that my DD should only feed every 4 hours when 2 weeks! Hmm

mommybear1 · 01/09/2018 12:33

@NotSoThinLizzy I feel your pain my LO is 10 months now and we have only ever got a three hour slot from him Confused. OP it's bloody hard no advice to give as I've tried it all and find just taking each day as it comes best and ignoring other parents who's darlings have slept from day 1 for 9 hours at night Wink. I have found walking with him in the Pram helps it gets me a solid 20 mins Grin

NoParticularPattern · 01/09/2018 12:34

try not to feed her to sleep why? Why would you not choose this easy, biologically normal way of getting a tiny baby to sleep? Sure, you could rock and cuddle and stroke the baby for hours instead. Choose the easy way out- anyone who tells you you’ll be making a rod for your own back is wrong. And even if you have, at least your rod is easy and doesn’t involve leaving a baby to cry self settle themselves to sleep

This age is dreadful for sleep. Although I’m sure some babies just like a good whinge- my DD (6.5 months) has just gone to sleep and whinged about it the whole time. She is teething so I know she’s uncomfortable despite my best efforts, but she would probably sleep much better if only she would work out that when she’s tired if she just shuts her eyes she would wake up much less so!!

BeautifulPossibilities · 01/09/2018 13:12

Just feed the baby to sleep. It's such a short time period. That's what they are built to do. So it first not last when the baby is overwrought.

Cyw2018 · 01/09/2018 13:23

Your priority for your baby's wellbeing and your sanity is for her to sleep, if feeding to sleep is what achieves that then that is what you should do as soon as it is nap time/she is showing signs of sleepiness. Once you have got her napping regularly and consistently for a few weeks then think about trying other methods of getting her to sleep, if you want to (for one nap a day at first).

Original poster
Lulette · 01/09/2018 14:01

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. She’s just gone off to sleep on my husband. She doesn’t seem to have heartburn or be in pain, as when she is in pain from eg wind it’s a different cry. Sounds like it is a tricky age for lots of babies. Good luck to those of you who also have poor sleepers Flowers

OP posts:
NotSoThinLizzy · 01/09/2018 16:18

Don't be ashamed to give baby to someone else for a bit and Catch up on some sleep it's a sanity saver. I one time took my shoe off to throw at a bird in a tree because it was squeaking while I was trying to get baby to sleep 😂

Harveyrabbit76 · 01/09/2018 16:23

I ended up feeding my child to sleep for 7 months and it became depressing, that's why i said it. I was breastfeeding, didn't have a chance to express and I was exhausted by the end as I was the only person who could get her to sleep. Just my advice, blimey.

LadyCassandra · 01/09/2018 16:34

Me too Harvey. DS2 never learnt to self settle and at 7 months I was broken and he was waking every 25 minutes. We went to a residential sleep clinic (not in Uk) to fix him!

TittyGolightly · 01/09/2018 16:46

We went to a residential sleep clinic (not in Uk) to fix him!

He wasn’t broken. Your experience expectations were. Poor little fella. Sad

NoParticularPattern · 01/09/2018 19:16

A baby of 7 months who can’t “self settle” is not broken. They don’t need “fixing”. They’re a tiny baby who 7 short months ago didn’t even know they were going to be a separate person from their mum shortly. Can you imagine that happening to you? I think it would take me longer than 7 months to acclimatise to the fact that my needs are no longer being met instantaneously and I’m a fully grown human being with the power of communication which others understand. I imagine it would take considerably more time than that if I didn’t know how to communicate my needs and the people who were caring for me didn’t fully understand either. 7 months is no time at all to be expecting such miracles- it’s not even the length of a full term pregnancy.

GreenTulips · 01/09/2018 19:18

A baby of 7 months who can’t “self settle” is not broken. They don’t need “fixing”

I think it was a joke - you know comical reference to broken toys -

OP see if you can fine the 'off switch' or 'remove the batteries'

LadyCassandra · 02/09/2018 11:22

It was a joke. I was more broken than him.
My expectations were fine, I now have 3 children and have always written off the first 6 months in terms of sleep. Waking every 20 minutes throughout the night is not normal.
We are very fortunate that we have an amazing facility called Tresilian in Australia (Google it) where maternity nurses help new mums with sleep issues, on the public health system. Without it I may not have survived my PND. But you carry on judging...

Harveyrabbit76 · 02/09/2018 11:51

LadyCassandra - that facility sounds great! I was definitely near the point of trying to get external help when thankfully solids started making the difference. It must have been awful having a baby waking every 20 mins.

Unfortunately/fortunately, some people get pretty easy babies and some people get more difficult ones who refuse to ever sleep, like us! I remember asking people if they had to teach their baby to sleep and everyone looked confused. 6 hours of continuous crying is not normal, its upsetting and worrying. Its hard for anyone to judge unless they have been in the same situation.

LadyCassandra · 02/09/2018 12:46

We had an easy 1st baby. We realised how smug we had been when DS2 came along!! I fed both of them to sleep but he just refused to settle at all!

stegosauruslady · 02/09/2018 13:09

Have you tried lying down with her and pretending to go to sleep yourself? It does sound silly, but it worked wonderfully with my lot.

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