'Would you like to borrow a comb?'

[RelentlessSylvia]

was literally the first thing my mum said when I walked through her door my morning. Not 'hello', not 'good morning', not 'thanks, daughter, from taking time out of your busy life as a carer to take me out for the day', not 'as a 40 year old woman your personal grooming and hair style is none of my business'.

No.

WOULD I LIKE TO BORROW A COMB?

No, mother. I would like to lend you a shut up, and also gift you a stop criticising me and also give you a lifetime subscription to You Are The Reason I've Always Felt Shit About Myself magazine.

Sorry for the over sharing! Thankyou for the support!

My mum always used to say 'your face is really mucky, have you washed it today?' Instead of saying hello nice to see you.

I just used to laugh at her and then worry inside that I did indeed look dirty.

After she started saying the same to my teens, I began replying with 'I think there's something wrong with your bloody eyesight - get it checked out coz you're going blind'!

My mum walks into my house, wrinkles her nose, sniffs and says ‘ooh, it’s a bit pongy in here’.

Jesus Becca Evil bullies.

An aunt wrote to my before my wedding reminding me that I would really need to be smart and do my hair properly. I felt like telling her that that had never once occurred to me, I was planning on sloping out of bed, pulling on the nearest jeans, torn T shirt and flip-flops and shambling down the aisle with greasy, tangled hair whilst chewing gum and flicking Vs at the guests.

But I sent her a birthday card with a cow on instead.

Gersemi, love the birthday card with a cow, where can I get some?

So DH just said to DS2 is he getting his hair cut for going back to uni. DS2 is starting a Masters, he is 23! And who gets their hair cut for uni? More likely to grow it longer!

My mum came to the hospital uninvited after my emergency c sec, took one look at me holding baby, looked down at my stomach whilst laughing and saying "when is the second one coming out then?" I was mortified.

My mums the same.

AprilLady, sorry, it was a long time ago, I can't remember where the card came from.

ooh yes, I am off to visit my own dear Mamma at the weekend, I give it 20 minutes before she sighs sadly and says "why don't you have those lovely highlights anymore, blonde is so attractive "

If she is feeling a bit feisty it'll be "goodness aren't you GREY" and "I picked up a lovely dress the other day that might suit you, what size are you now??"

Sounds like my ex MIL. Had seen her son in a while, first words out of her mouth when he walked though the door. "Oh, you're getting fat." The man is 6 foot 1 and a rake.

She better not say that shit to DD.

My mother has been known to draw back in complete horror and bleat “What’s THAT your wearing?” Mum is rarely happy for any nice thing to happen to me. She has a disparaging word for everything that involves me. I wish I knew why. I often wonder what I did in my life to make her so upset with me.

Stephisaur Your mum sounds like my late DM! She would frequently say 'Cheese,I wish you'd do something with your hair'. The truth of the matter was that there was nothing actually wrong with my hair,apart from the fact that it was blonde,long and very thick (and thankfully still is 2 out of 3 of those things,the blonde is peppered with a bit of grey now!). I am pretty sure it was jealousy on her part,because her hair had gone extremely thin and grey,and although she never admitted it,I know it bothered her a lot. So instead of being thankful that I hadn't followed in her footsteps,she chose to be bitchy to me about it. I just took no notice.

My friends mum, on her wedding day, turned up late. My friend answered the door, in her wedding dress and veil. The very first thing her mum said?

"is my hair ok? I don't like how the hairdresser did it and everyone will stare"

Some people are dicks.

My MIL is no better. She once greeted her son after not seeing him for two years by literally poking him in the belly and saying 'what are going to do about THIS?'.

Both sets of parents have really helped us out financially so unfortunately we're not as free to beat them about their crass rude heads with rolled up newspapers as we otherwise might be.

Another gem that my DM came out with years ago. I had a really nasty cold sore just above my top lip. She says 'Cheese,you've got food around your mouth'. Thanks for that mum. As if I hadn't felt self conscious enough about it already!

Love it!

Ironic that on a thread about judgmental mothers, there's a DD that's really rude about hers.

My DMs stand by is, 'Don't bend over in that dress/skirt.' Yes mum, I'm 46, I think I know how to bend over and not flash my knickers but hey if I did want to do that, it's my choice!'
Last time she said it, precisely 7 days ago, I looked at her and said, 'FFS!' She was shocked 🤦‍♀️

@Stephisaur - ha ha he actually has!!