What would be your rules for a ‘perfect’ life?

[flyingsaucersherbet]

I’ve had a rubbish summer, had a miscarriage and relationship has broken down. Tomorrow being September feels really positive for me, and I want to try and live - just for the month - a ‘perfect’ life, as I’ve been basically hiding under the duvet for all of August.

So far my rules for September are:

1. no phone / tv after 9:30 - goto bed and read, lie down for 10:30

2. exercise - even just a walk, every day.

3. take my make up off every night

4. lay out my clothes the night before and don’t just chuck on any old thing.

5. do something positive to my house every day - it needs completely over hauling, decluttering and decorating, so one small - or large - step towards that every day.

6. make some money. Stop being scared of pushing my business - take risks and go for it.

7. Say yes to social invitations. Stop making excuses to hibernate

8. mediate or do law of attractions mantras every day.

9. engage with Ds positively every day instead of us both just slumping in front of CBeebies after school....

Does anyone have any other suggestions for rules for me to follow? I’m hoping that becaus my goal is just to the end of September that I will be able to follow them, but also that I will feel so much better that they will stick!

have a good time, all of the time

I like that one! I’m trying to read funny books at the moment, it’s been a real joy!

Drink 2l of water a day
Write down 4 things you are thankful for at the end of each day

Eat a healthy diet
Do something/say something nice to someone every day.

Sunday night prep five outfits for the week ahead.
Make a healthy lunch each evening for work the next day.
No booze at home til Christmas.
Fish once a week.
Walk to work as much as possible.

Just reading your post, can I offer one word of caution..... I’m an all or nothing person and could have written what you wrote (and have written near identical many times!!) however my therapist at the moment is working with me on being kinder to myself.
An example - let’s say one day you don’t do anything towards the house, no exercise and watch Tv with little one.
That’s ok too!
Take a note of how it makes you feel and move on. Maybe you needed a rest that day and give yourself an internal hug.
Sorry for your loss

I don’t find my way to happiness through rules. Though self-discipline and self-care are very important, and I think that’s what you’re aiming for with your rules?

Personally I’ve never found making a load of changes at once to be successful - smaller, incremental changes have helped me more. So I’d choose a few things from your list, that fit together nicely, to help me give something up and take something up - easier to replace a habit than just end it.
For example, no-screens after a certain time, but go to the library once a week with DC after school and get yourself and them some great books to read. Then read rather than screens in the evening. That kind of thing.

Some people love going for things in a drastic way, and good luck with that approach too!

Take time to smell the flowers.....
Enjoy sunsets and sunrises......
Watch the clouds scurrying across the sky.....
Look into the distance and admire the view....
Savour the moment and live in the present.....

I love these suggestions - am writing up a list now.

I know what you mean about being kind to myself and not beating myself up if it’s too draconian though - maybe goals rather than rules is a better way of looking at it?

I just feel like I need some intensive self care and to push myself a bit. The wallowing has to stop sometime, it’s goinf to engulf me otherwise

Be kind to yourself.

It was my first thought and then I read LulaBella's post!

Comparison is the thief of joy. So don't wish you had what others do. I think the easiest way to do this is get off social media. I've deleted FB and don't use any other social media except for MN. I stick to reading funny threads, favourite songs/films/Christmas memories type stuff.

Don't worry about what you cannot change, but change how you react to it.

I'm going through a tough time at the monent, two very dear friends are going through worse. If i cannot phone and chat for an hour or be there in person as a shpulder to cry on, then i just send whatsapps in a kind of "Chokka Girl checking in" kind of thing, or send care packages (favourite sweets and an old uni photo i dug up, for example). If i'm finding it it hard to give a piece of myself because myself is in pieces, then small notes are greatly appreciated by my friends - and from them to me, too.

Final advice: allow yourself to cry, to bawl, to scream (into a pillow) at shitty things

Maybe try to improve one thing every week until xmas?