Inequality in GPS gift giving, causing the GPS stress

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One set of GPS very well off, and have an only child themselves and their DGC is an only so they have one DGC and no prospect of any more(medical complications)

The other GPs are "comfortable" in an upper working class kind of way. They have enough but by no means wealthy. They have two children and three DGC so far.

The wealthy GPS are very generous with presents, OTT in my opinion, but they enjoy doing it and as they say, have nothing else to spend their money on.

The "poor" GPs are also very generous but it's all relative and their money has to go further.

Poor GM has announced she won't be spending any more Christmases with both families as it "breaks her heart" to see the only GC so much more thrilled with the other GP's presents (she's 5yo and the presents are more impressive, yes maybe she should be better trained but that initial reaction is hard to hide).

I understand GM will feel it sometimes but otoh the wealthy GM might like 3 DGC, we all have to accept and make the most of what we have.

So, now SIL (the only's mother and poor GPs daughter) feels between a rock and a hard place she can either never be with her parents for Christmas or her DH's parents are alone for Christmas.

How much would you do to accommodate your mother in SIL's position? This obviously has nothing to do with my fear that we will be having Mil every year

The poorer GM is acting like a child because she can’t afford to give the biggest present. She would rather not be there than not be the more generous GP. She is being ridiculous.

Hmmm! I kind of get it. We stopped doing Christmas with a set of cousins who had a huge extended family and sky-high gift mountains.
Have an extended Christmas where you see different sides of the family on different days.

She sounds like my MIL , her response to us sending our dc to private school was ‘why would you do that the local school was good enough for dh’ . Fortunately we never really mingled our families prior to me and the inlaws going NC so the actual differences in presents etc never arose . ( my mum and sis bought ds a new pony when he was 6 as his Shetland had died ) .

Could the " poor" gm be persuaded to give an experience present that would become a tradition. Eg every Christmas bring her to the pantomine . Or buy her a present in one particular area every year..like a new book. Or eg teach her to craft so buy her a new craft present every Christmas. Maybe the dh needs to get his dps to tone it down . Tell them to start her education fund.
( don't tell poor gm!!)

I am far more interested in experiences for my gd than presents. I think a gms time is the best present.