Hi all,
I got divorced 2 years ago and was separated for a year before that.
It has been a long and difficult process and for personal reasons we are no contact.
I am busy with my children and own my own home, but am starting to wonder if I will be alone forever. I'm really bloody lonely. Each night sat alone, I'm lucky to have the kids but it isn't the same.
I would have no idea how to meet anyone new, I find it very rare that I'm attracted to someone, but I have been attracted to both men and women.
The thought of having sex with someone new feels really weird though. I was with ExH for 15 years and just have become accustomed to his body. Like the colour of his skin, and the hairs on it, and how he always wore white underpants. I can't imagine being able to go near another body as it would feel so unfamiliar.
I do miss the nice parts of the ex but the nasty parts made it impossible to stay in touch.
I hear of women who have slept with other people less than a year later and that is fine but it seems alien from my own experience. I just can't see it ever happening or finding someone I want to be with sexually-I haven't been attracted to anyone.
I feel a bit numb inside, do you think I should get drunk and go on Tinder to get it over with, to see if it might ignite something inside?
Would appreciate any replies. I feel so old, scruffy and inhuman. I don't groom but would do if there was a point, I do start work soon so that will make me make more of an effort.
I was average but well presented before, now I am just invisible, hair scraped up in clean but plain clothes.