I'm slimmer than many of my friends but eat more than them... can someone explain this to me?

[AurorasMyGirl]

I was overweight in my teen years but as an adult I've always been around a size 10. I walk a bit but no other exercise other than running round after the DC. What baffles me is that I have friends/family who are overweight and any time I'm with them, I always eat more than them. I've even holidayed with them and it's the same situation. I don't think I have a particularly fast metabolism, I just don't understand how they can be overweight eating so little, it just seems unfair. Having been overweight before, it was definitely down to overindulging for me but it seems my friends and family who are overweight, certainly the ones I spend the most time with, really don't seem to do this, or definitely not to a degree where it could be causing the weight gain. I'm wondering if it could be alcohol as I'm not a big drinker?

I always assumed that to be overweight, you have to overeat but I'm thinking I may be way off the mark with that and I suppose I feel a little guilty for making that assumption. I suppose there will be people of all shapes and sizes on here so i was just curious to find out if there are others who really don't overeat but struggle with their weight like this? It really does seem so unfair.

People naturally have a set point weight.
I know this after spending 6 months on an inpatient eating disorders unit.
I gained 5 stone in 6 months and then when I left there my body naturally got rid of a stone and half and has settled at a set point.
Everyone has their own hence why we are all different shapes and sizes. Some days my calorie intake is a lot higher than others, some weeks I'll exercise a lot more than the week before but my weight doesn't fluctuate.
If you think of it this way, if someone is going through a stressful or difficult time and they lose their appetite and find they are losing weight, once said situation is resolved their natural weight will quickly come back and settle again.
The same as someone who goes on holiday and induldges and may gain a pound or two, as soon as they return home back to natural eating habits their weight again will return back to its set point.
Obviously all bodies are different though, some people over eat and some under eat.
Weight is always a tricky subject to discuss. People may be gaining weight through medication, thyroid issues, steroids. People may lose weight for the same reason so it's not always as black and white as it appears.
But NATURALLY, everyone's body has its own specific set point weight.

I've noticed the same thing except I'm the fatty. Well, not fat. I'm a normal weight but at the upper end of it. My sister is a much bigger than me and yet eats less and goes to the gym. My younger sis is slim as a pub and eats loads and no gym. My best friend is incapable of gaining weight (she's tried) and despite eating lots and often (we lived together for a while and by gum she could eat, plus the alcohol, and same foods as me) but was thin as a rake.

I can only assume some people have efficient guts and digest every calorie and some people poo nutritious faeces as it passes through them undigested.

So it's not ' fair'for sure so we all need to eat according to how our bodies are. It's no good looking to what other people eat to decide what YOUR unique body needs. If you are overweight it's because you eat more than your and only your body needs. Irrelevant whether or would make mate, relative, neighbour day or thin.

They eat while you're not looking

And you don't have to overeat by a noticable amount to be overweight. 100 calories a day will chuck 10lb on you in a year. 20lb in 2 years. 30lb in three years etc

And 100 calories is only a bite more than you need of cheese or cake or chocolate. It's the difference between leaving the last scrap on pudding and finishing it, between putting one slice of cheese in your sandwich or 2.

Human bodies are frightened of losing weight but they BLOODY LOVE gaining it!

Bloody autocorrect.

Thin as a pub should be thin as a pin.

Whether or should be whether it.

Day or thin should be fat or thin.

Both my Mil & Sil are slim but both eat masses- I on the other hand struggle massively with weight, but can't keep up with their meal times.

I am a very different build to my DP's family, but they are all very slim so I do think genetics plays a role. However, having watched them both they burn a lot of nervous energy, they are never still- even when sitting watching TV a hand will be tapping and a leg bobbing up & down. Whereas I can be still and not move for hours, I'll be watching TV & my smart watch will record it as sleeping.

Some people are "good doers". They use their calories efficiently and store weight from any spare input. Others (like me) waste calories, have a high tick-over rate and stay lean. Google endomorph, mesomorph and ectomorph and you'll see that you're a type and that there's not much you can do to change that. You just have to understand what your type means for your food intake and exercise regime. As you say, people come in all shapes and sizes.

I agree with @Peachydream it is very common for people with eating disorders to jiggle around subconsciously while sitting still. Rocking legs, tapping feet and fingers. It does burn calories and for this reason when I was on the unit people were subsequently banned from doing this.

And yes, what peachy says. Watch and see if the skinnies are fidgeters. I drive my DH insane because I am never still.

Height
Age
Gut flora
Fidgeting
Snacking

People do all have different calorie intake requirements (older people need less than younger and taller need less than shorter). The whole 2000/2500 calories per day being what everyone needs as a baseline for survival is a total myth, many people need much less than this and some need much more...

Also you are presumably not with them all day every day, I know plenty of people who eat very little at meals/in public but graze and snack a lot through the day. For instance if you came to dinner at my parents house you'd think my mum ate like a bird, picking at a tiny portion. But she'll have been having toast and fruit throughout the day and will probably eat chocolate or sweets later in the evening so end up on the equivalent calorie intake of my dad who only eats at meals but has a sizeable portion. Neither are wrong per we, it's about eating a range of nutritious, balanced food that isn't too many calories overall.

Fidgeting isn't necessarily indicative of an eating disorder .

'They eat while you're not looking'

That might be true in some cases but not my experience with my friend. She ate what I ate but larger portions each time and sometimes she'd make herself an extra meal that I wouldn't have. She liked big breakfasts which I can't face and she'd have seconds or thirds at dinner when I'm done.

Yet I'm 150lbs and she's under 100lbs. Very odd and she can't figure it out either. Her whole family are like this so we just shrug and say 'genetics'. It doesn't bother me. On the flipside she suffers if she goes too long without food and I'm fine if dinner is delayed.

That should say taller need more than shorter!

Dieting makes people gain weight in the long run. Eating a low number of calories and then the inevitable bingeing can mess up metabolism. Could be something to do with it?

They eat when you're not looking and you move around more.

Also I agree that gut flora and genetics play a part.

I agree with Colditz , two people of around the same height, same weight and same activity will eat around the same calories over a month. If one person is substantially bigger it will be because they eat more calories than the other.

Yes, it could definitely be alcohol, or if they have lots of milk/cream fillled drinks. It could be that they eat a similar thing to you but a more calorific version so adding dressings to a salad, having a slice of garlic bread on the side, adding cheese to pasta etc. Also holidays are not really representative as you might eat more than normal whereas they might eat the same.

I'm one of two skinny folk in my group of friends. We both hardly drink alcohol, are very fidgety and neither of us drive. I weigh less than I did as a teen and think it's down to these 3 things!

Do they drink fizzy drinks?

@FlamingJuno

“Fidgeting isn't necessarily indicative of an eating disorder”

I think the PP meant that of the people within the unit suffering from eating disorders, they’d fidget a lot because it burned calories and would do it because other activity would be heavily restricted and monitored

Thank you @HulaMelody that's exactly what I meant.
I was pointing out that fidgeting definitely does burn calories as I previously found out during my time on an eating disorders unit. I made no reference to the fact that it was only people with eating disorders that fidget whatsoever .

I used to be like this, outwardly I looked slim, skinny even but I ate junk and had a very high amount of internal fat (around organs) which is more dangerous than external fat. Not saying this is the case because you could have a very high metabolism but slim doesn't always equal healthy.

Leg-bobbing people are irritating AF.