MIL calling other granny a “chimney stack”

[mrsneezy]

MIL told dniece that her (other) grandmother was a “chimney stack” because she smokes. My dd heard this and repeated it. Neither girl knows what it means really (aged 3 and 4). My dd doesn’t even know what smoking is, so hard to explain, but we did talk about calling people names.

How would you handle saying something to MIL (it was said in her house)? It’s going to cause trouble because MIL doesn’t like to be told anything!

(Haven’t seen SIL, smokers daughter, yet so don’t know her thoughts on the matter.)

More description than name calling surely?

FagashLil as opposed to smokes like a chimney?

Descriptive or not, it wasn’t meant in a kind way.

True but could it have been a throwaway remark rather than a name?

Doesn't make much difference plus now you get to choose Granny non smokers pet name! Wasp chewer?

I don’t know how it was said. Dd announced in the car on the way home that “dniece’s Nanna is a chimneystack!” and then laughed. I asked her who said it and she said grandma. DH says MIL uses the term (I’ve never heard it used in that way before) so I’m sure that’s where the girls heard it.

Regardless of how rude it is, she shouldn’t be saying things about the other grandmother to the girls.

You can tell your DD's that it's the name MIL uses for smokers, but you don't like it and prefer them not to use it - from what you've said, this is exactly what you've already done so it has been dealt with (although possibly may need reinforcing if they repeat it again )

She wasn't talking about your mother - I'm not sure why you need to take this up with her tbh.

Because I don’t want dd thinking is ok to make up names for people!

You don’t like your mil and are looking for something to be annoyed about.
Other grandma is a ‘chimney stack’ and smoking is disgusting. Dneice probably smells faintly of smoke if they spend any amount of time together.

It’s not a name it’s a label. Someone can be swimmer, or an athlete, an academic, or a chimney stack.

It’s descriptive.

Meh, I go on and on to dd in front of smoking dh saying to her ‘only old daddies do that, it smells and makes your teeth fall out etc’. It’s just to put her off copying him.

Ah right, so as MIL is a size 22, it’s ok for the girls to call her fatty then. I see.

Thanks all!

If she is fat then she can be labelled a fat person yes.

I suppose the big difference is that her being a ‘fatty’ won’t damage dniece’s health.

Perhaps a little reminder to Grandma that little pitchers have big ears.

"Yes, she does smoke and it's a real shame because it's bad for you. Now, marmite or cheese in your sandwich?"

she hasn't done anything wrong, and its nothing to do with you anyway.

so nothing for you to "handle"

It's not exactly making up a name though is it? It's a phrase that some older people use to describe a smoker, fairly easy to explain to your DD, imo you're making a fuss about nothing

Sorry- only half my post happened
"Chimney stack is an old fashioned word for a chimney- you know-you've seen them houses with smoke coming out of them. Granny said grandmas was like a chimney because she smokes. It's a shame she does because it's bad for her and we wish she would stop. Now, cheese or marmite in this sandwich?"

Why do you need to handle anything?
Even if the other granny found out it's not a lie is it?

"Chimney stack is an old fashioned word for a chimney. Granny said grandma was like a chimney because she smokes. It's a shame she does because it's bad for her and we wish she would stop.

Whale is a name of a large mammal that lives in the sea. Granny is very fat so you could say she was like a whale. She’s fat because she eats too much. We wish she wouldn’t because it’s bad for her.

Now, cheese or marmite in this sandwich?"

Try that!

Good to see the smokers out in force!

I'm not a smoker, I think it's a foul habit!

Who are the smokers? I can’t tell!

This is a very clear case of OP looking for something (anything?) to pull MIL up on and score a point. It's all a bit desperate OP.

Name calling is derogatory and unpleasant. This is not it.

DN .. "My granny smokes a lot - it's really smelly and mummy makes her stand outside."

MIL .. "I know DN , it's a horrid habit. Granny looks like a chimney stack , hope she stops soon as it's very bad for her health.

Nothing mean or derogatory there. Just an accurate descriptive for young kids of a smoker..

You'll have to find something better to be upset with her about. This is a non-event.
If it's really about 'teaching' your children anything- how about a quick child-friendly health chat about the dangers of smoking (and obesity) . MIL doesn't need to be involved in any of it.

It's not like she called her a Cunt.
There's nothing to manage, move on

Christ