My almost 7 year old doesn't play....

[Whydoilikebroccoli]

I've totally loved having my DS home over the summer but it's been quite hard work. He cannot entertain himself at all. He fights with his younger sister (5) quite a bit. But they do have times of nice play. But he won't play alone and seems to struggle to play with toys. He has Lego, star wars toys, etc and he will rarely sit down and just play with them. I have to do it too and the moment I stop, he stops. He seems to struggle to know what to do. I got the drawing stuff out and he couldnt think what to draw so got upset. He and his sister do imaginative play but mostly led by her. He plays with his friends really well too.

But my biggest challenge is that if I'm not entertaining him and not letting him watch TV he really plays up. Like I'll find the toilet roll all unravelled in the bathroom, or a pot of beads deliberately tipped on the floor, or he will wind his sister up, or I'll find he has poured a whole bottle of bubble bath in the loo etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting him to entertain himself for hours. But even 15-20 minutes without some drama would be nice. When I say no to the TV he gets cross and lashes out at me but I don't let him get his way for that.

He is definitely an outdoor child, he has free access to the garden which works well but still needs near constant attention.

Any advice or experiences welcome.

I got the drawing stuff out and he couldnt think what to draw so got upset.

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Does he have a marble run, or something like geomag?

Make a list of ideas what he can do and put them in a pot.

"If you're bored, I can find you a job to do." Sorting the socks and underwear should be feasible for a 7 year old!

I don't do a lot of playing with DC but when they get like this I try to make things inviting to play with. Like, without saying anything I might get DD'd doll's house, and some action figures, and sort of set up a scene - all without mentioning what I'm doing. So when they notice you doing this they might join in or I'll say "oh no, what's happened, this dinosaur is about to eat this my little pony" - it can be really stupid and cheesy but that's fine! Sometimes they'll laugh and then do something equally daft, or go and get other toys to add to it, or just join in with the game, but it often works.

I find that just saying "why not play with your lego" has zero effect, whereas, "hey, look at this lego car on youtube, I bet we could make one" might work.

For drawing, put a shape or scribble on a page and get them to turn it into something. Or draw blank outlines of people, vehicles or buildings and get them to design it. Empty plates or cones to create imaginary meals or icecreams...anything that takes about 5 seconds from me but sparks an idea off is good.

Thanks! He is a super helper and does lots of jobs for me but rarely by himself. He is so sweet, great at sharing etc. Perhaps I'm expecting too much. We have a marble run, but it lasts a couple of minutes without input from me before he wants to watch TV instead.

I'll try the ideas jar for him and make them specific and see if that helps. I hadn't thought of that before.

Thanks TheFifthKey I'll try some scene setting. I used to do that to no avail but that was a while ago.

My 10 year old is like that. Except he's an only so no one to squabble with! He'll just constantly ask me to play or moan if I don't.

He's always been like it. It was tough when he was younger but has got better as he's got older, although he is still not great at entertaining himself (other than with screens...) He's just not at all into imaginative play, never has been really, which means he's not into a lot of stuff. He doesn't like drawing but will do colouring, or dot to dot (grown up ones!), used to like Hama beads too.

Luckily, he's very into sport so will play football by himself in the garden for a while. He'll read too.

He can also get really absorbed in "sorting" type activities. He used to be really into Match Attax cards and would spend ages rearranging them in albums. He's also recently got into another card collecting game and enjoys making new decks to play with.

Does he find it easier to play in a way that doesn't require him to think of what to do? eg. paint by numbers, follow a 'how to draw a pig' instructions or whatever, or build a lego model following instructions to make something specific?

Not like that, no. He did paint a lovely money box really nicely the other day. He is definitely physical and sporty but not so good at doing it on his own.

How about if you're playing with him, say with Lego, then say 'I've just got to pop the kettle on, I'll be 2 minutes, you keep going. I bet you can't build a car/finish that house whatever'. Then gradually extend the time you leave him, but always coming back to it?