Advice about husbands promotion

[notanaturalmum]

I’ll keep this short. I have a 14 month old DS. Mumlife hasn’t come naturally to me but I’m really trying. I find it hard to entertain/play with/ just generally be around my DS. I don’t get a lot out of it. I do my best but I don’t exactly enjoy being a mum. But I’m told it gets better with time so I’m just focusing on that. I’m secretly relieved when it’s a nursery day as it means that somebody else has to deal with naps, playing, crying etc (sorry but it’s the truth)
Anyway my husband has got an opportunity to work abroad (14hr flight). No details as yet but we would probably get some sort of expat package. He’s desperate to do it, it would be a promotion and would satisfy his urge to leave the UK in search of a more meaningful life.
For starters, he’s required to go for a 2 week reccy which means I will left at home for 2 weeks.
I’m petrified as I will find so hard to be on my own with the baby for that length of time. Family support is 90 mins away so not really anyone that can come for an hour to help so I can have a break.
I don’t want to be unsupportive to him but I’m dreading it.
I know IABU if I tell him not to go, but I don’t know how I’m going to manage.
And I get that single parents do this all the time, but I presume that the majority of people look forward to spending time with their kids. I can’t truthfully say that I do.

Secondly if he gets the job, we will have to move and I’ll be in some villa on my own with the baby without family or friends whilst he is at work all day. I’m sure I will make friends and settle into expat life but I’m worried it could send me over the edge. But it’s a promotion for him so I kind of need to put up and shut up as my reasons for not wanting to go are a bit weak.
What should I do. How can I let him know that I don’t want this without looking like an unsupportive wife. I know I’m scared. Maybe I just need some stories from wise expat mumsnetters to make me feel like I can do this.
Anybody?

If I was you I would be working on any jobs (especially the decent paid one you've got) so long it was enough to cover nursery fees and put your dc into full time nursery or at least more than one day a week. For your own sanity and relationship with your child.

I do and always have adored my ds1 but when he was a baby I was not ready to be a sahm and couldn't wait to get my first full time roll and as soon as I was working full time I became a much better mum in the evenings and weekends (a lot more patient) looking forward to time just the two of us.

If you move abroad will you be able to work yourself or will you have to be a sahm? Saying that you need to work is in no way too selfish I don't think.

While he's away the two weeks def try and go as well but if you can't then see if you can put him into nursery for a couple extra days or pack up and go stay with your family for that time. Two weeks is a long time to be at home alone with your kids if you're not used to it even if you love all the naptime/play times etc

Not wishing to go is not necessarily fear of change.

Being a trailing spouse goes well beyond “support”

I am a trailing spouse OP, and it is hard. I don't have any DCs yet but there have been times when the isolation and loneliness has been overwhelming, and where I am is the US so not such a culture shock.

That being said- I don't regret it on the whole. We have made great friends, had lovely experiences and it has given DH's career a huge boost (mine however, is completely fucked for various reasons).

I think if you know in your heart you definitely don't want to go, you should tell your DH. If you aren't sure, go on the 2 week trip with him and try to find out as much about expat life there as possible so you know what you're possibly getting yourself into.