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How to help 3.5 year old - preschool and house move

6 replies

LlamaLikesRepeatingThings · 29/08/2018 15:05

We're completing on a new house in the same week our 3.5 year old is starting preschool. We moved country in January and have been living in a rented house since then. He has already been through a lot with such a big move! His behaviour was awful for a few months afterwards so I feel shit we're upheaving him again, but this is us finally buying a house and preschool is unavoidable, as is this completion date.

How can we help him? It feels like such a lot for him to cope with.

We won't be moving in straight away. His new room in his forever home is very similar in set up only this time we can paint it. We've let him choose the paint and visited the house. He seemed very excited/anxious when we visited - he was running around, slamming doors etc which is what he does when he's feeling overwhelmed.

And preschool - the new house is a bit further away so we won't be walking there, we'll be cycling together (in his trailer). I wonder if we should cycle in his trailer from the beginning, even though our current house is just around the corner?

He has never been in a daycare setting before so this is a big change for him. We've been to visit it and been reading books etc about it, and talking about it. He seems quite worried and keeps asking if we're coming, and when we explain we will come and then go do some boring grown up stuff while he has a brilliant time then come back and go home together, he sort of disintegrates into tears :(

Any advice appreciated!

OP posts:
Camomila · 29/08/2018 15:15

Oh bless CakeFlowers for you.

We are doing similar literally next week though DS is only 2.4.
New house and new nursery (first time he'll have his own bedroom and first time doing whole days at nursery...now he just goes in the morning)

My plan has been to talk about it lots and to 'big up' his new room...'there'll be a new truck waiting for you on your bed...'
I would definetly make sure his room is sorted out first, so he's got all his familiar stuff around him.

Re preschool is it like a school one or is it in a private nursery, in a private nursery you should be able to do settling in sessions to ease him in gently.

Starting to use the trailer now sounds good, one less 'new' thing for him.

LlamaLikesRepeatingThings · 29/08/2018 15:24

We use his trailer a fair amount already for trips, but I think we had naively assumed he'd happily hop in for preschool which I don't think he will :( It's a school type but there is a fairly long settling in there, they seem really good.

We will definitely be setting up his room first. We get the keys on the end of the first week of his preschool so we're going to go over on the Friday and say hello to the house then paint it on the weekend.

OP posts:
user1471459936 · 29/08/2018 15:26

Does he understand that you will take all your things (his toys etc) with you? That's what my 3 year old struggled to understand. I know you only moved in January but he might not remember it that clearly.

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kaytee87 · 29/08/2018 15:35

Could you not put off him going to nursery for a few weeks to allow him to settle into his new home? You say he hasn't been in day care before so can you not do whatever you were doing before for childcare?

LlamaLikesRepeatingThings · 29/08/2018 16:01

No, we can't. The kids start at staggering intervals, he is already starting the latest. A few weeks lately wouldn't really help - others would be more settled etc.

OP posts:
kaytee87 · 29/08/2018 16:41

But it's not compulsory, it's not school it's only nursery so he could just be 'on holiday' for the first couple of weeks.
A couple of weeks at home first would mean he's not doing 2 new things at the same time

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