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Original poster

People think I'm stupid

20 replies

Riotheparrott · 29/08/2018 14:58

As a child I was told I'm stupid. I'm actually not at all stupid. Now I'm in a decent job the stupid thing continues. Its a vile team anyway but I'm spoken to like a 2 year old. The admin staff say I'm odd to my face Confused I've started to say yeah I'm stupid all the time even though I know I'm not.

OP posts:
FissionChips · 29/08/2018 15:01

What strange and horrible people they are.
I’d book an assertiveness course and look for another job.

herworldoutsideit · 29/08/2018 15:03

If its a vile team, can you get a new job? Don't start saying 'yeah I'm stupid' . That belief can seep into your consciousness.

Do you think working on how you project yourself might help?
I only say this because I know that I can project a lack of confidence i formal situations and this has really held me back.

Original poster
Riotheparrott · 29/08/2018 15:03

I'm pregnant so during mat leave I'll be looking! where can I book an assertiveness course?

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Original poster
Riotheparrott · 29/08/2018 15:04

I think I do project a lack of confidence but being told I'm stupid isn't helping. I've got more about me than any of them and I'm not rude.

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Bombardier25966 · 29/08/2018 15:06

In what circumstances do people say you are odd and stupid?

I've got more about me than any of them and I'm not rude.

If this attitude is coming across in work, it might explain their feelings towards you.

Original poster
Riotheparrott · 29/08/2018 15:12

When I ask them where to put a file etc because I've never been shown. I wouldn't call someone stupid or odd for that reason. Yes maybe my attitude does shine through after being bullied for over a year

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MaryandMichael · 29/08/2018 15:17

I think you'll be fine if you get out of there.
Are you on the spectrum, by any chance? This happens to us all the time. They can tell there is something different about us but don't know what, and they (NTs) become afraid and start throwing insults about. This is a very Aspie statement... I've got more about me than any of them and I'm not rude. It's probably true (we make sound assessments) but they'll sense that you feel that and it makes them resentful.

tectonicplates · 29/08/2018 15:21

When I ask them where to put a file etc because I've never been shown.

So basically they expect you to be a mind reader. They're just a bad

tectonicplates · 29/08/2018 15:22

They're just a bad employer.

Bluntness100 · 29/08/2018 15:22

Someone has actually said to you in the workplace "you are stupid" and "you are odd".

Is this correct?

jumpingeasel · 29/08/2018 15:26

Hopefully we're getting the full picture here, of course even if we're not they shouldn't be saying those things to your face. I would like to point out that I worked with a fucking infuriating woman who asked me the same thing every day even though I told her EVERY DAY - straightforward things like where a file goes. She was stupid and odd, although I never would have told her that. She thought she was a genius.

Original poster
Riotheparrott · 29/08/2018 17:11

I don't ask the same things all the time. i remember things and act accordingly. They have said I'm odd and stupid to my face. I just laughed and asked them if they treat everyone like this. It's funny the longest serving member of staff had lasted 2 years Hmm

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beachcomber243 · 29/08/2018 17:20

I actually get this from someone in my life. The truth is they are the sort to put people down in order to feel superior as they feel threatened. They think they are brighter and know more than they do. In my opinion we all know different things, we all have knowledge and can learn from each other.

I am not stupid either and can read what is happening, know why they do it, always have done and just see someone feeling inadequate and bluffing half the time. Maybe you should view these workmates in the same way OP. It is very irritating though.

herworldoutsideit · 29/08/2018 17:33

If this attitude is coming across in work, it might explain their feelings towards you.

I don't think so Bombardier. IN fact, I think if that feisty attitude were coming across in work they would be more likely to leave OP alone!

OP, you might want to see if any local mental health, employment or women's groups offer assertiveness training courses.

I'm sorry you work with such arses. I worked for a dreadful woman once and it really does grind you down.

Original poster
Riotheparrott · 29/08/2018 20:25

I'm probably too mild mannered. TBH I've tried to disengage so that shows I'm sure

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Feckitall · 29/08/2018 20:49

Another one here.... can you move teams/roles?
I had similar in a previous work role to the point the manager asked me if I had made any friends there, had I ever been assessed for asd , and told me I didn't have the social skills to be promoted... Hmm I was spoken to as if I was a dim child....
no... the team were shite..it was them...I moved, did really well and got promoted...Where I am, we, in the nicest sense, are all a bunch of oddballs..I found my people Grin
What are your strengths op? Can you develop these...not necessarily in work...I took on study, a sport and volunteering...it helped me get past the 'you're too stupid' mindset...

Original poster
Riotheparrott · 29/08/2018 22:35

Hopefully post mat leave I'll find something. I'm very knowledgeable in my field so I think the atmosphere in a team is important to me. It's ruined my confidence really

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Original poster
Riotheparrott · 30/08/2018 22:23

fecktail well done I hope I'm successful after leaving this shit team

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happinessischocolate · 30/08/2018 22:36

Can you not reply with the Mumsnet classic of "did you mean to be so rude"? If someone called me a stupid or weird at work I'd probably assume I'd misheard them and say "I beg your pardon???" We've no idea why they thought they could say it in the first place but they continue to because you're not pulling them up in it. I worked with someone years ago who was incredibly thick and said rude and blunt stuff to everyone, she only got away with it once with me because I was so shocked she was so rude, she got a mouthful the second time.

Original poster
Riotheparrott · 31/08/2018 13:27

I've done all that. They resort to the passive aggressive emails to management then. Sad fucks

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