I think I'm actually going to explode. Why is going back to work so bloody difficult?

[TheresSomebodyAtTheDoooorrr]

It's taken me five months, and an appeal to get my employer to agree to me going part time. It was all finally agreed in writing last week, two weeks before I go back to work. That's been stressful enough as it is.

Now DS's nursery, despite me telling them three months ago that it was possible I would need to reduce his hours at some point before my return to work in September, are saying they 'aren't sure' if I can reduce his hours to two days a week any time soon

I've given over a months notice, as specified in their handbook. I'm willing to find a way to pay my full time fees on my part time hours till October when I've requested he goes down to two days. But if they say no, I'm stuffed. I can't afford to find a full time place on my part time hours. Work can't defer me going part time, and all my annual leave needs to be used for when the nursery closes for two weeks over Christmas I apologised when I handed the letter of notice in and explained the situation, and the woman got really arsey with me. I've done my best to keep them updated, even when I've had no update from my employer, I've told them that. I've done the best I can.

On top of that, DH is away for two months, and I'm having a period, and it's DS's first session today and I just dropped him off and I want to cry.

I'm sorry that was so rambly I'm not sure why I'm posting.

What is the nursery's policy - do they only offer full time places?

I can't understand why they are saying you have to pay for a full time place if they offer part time places and you are providing enough notice to reduce your hours (at my ds' nursery it was 2 months and I did it in the weeks before he started school as he started going to a childminder 2 days a week - it wasn't a problem as I gave enough notice).

Check your contract and see what it says. They can't make things up, they have to follow their own terms and conditions.

Sounds frustrating! Can you not just bin off that nursery all together? Maybe look for a childminder? They might be more flexible

I feel you - my nursery turned round and casually told me they didn’t have space for my DC shortly before returning to work. This was after having him on the wait list for a year and them confirming a place prior. Every other nursery bar one miles away I hated was fully booked.
I ended up finding a childminder who is wonderful and I’m so happy it’s ended up this way. Hopefully you’ll resolve nursery problems too - but I get how stressful it is. You’d think something that costs so much would be easier!

They offer both part and full time - the contract says they require one months notice in writing of any changes in hours, which is exactly what I've given them.

I do understand it's obviously going to inconvenience them with staff, other children's hours and stuff, but I've really tried my absolute best to keep them updated and given as much notice as I can

I think I may have to try to find somewhere else - though they're the only childcare in the area that seems to do Saturdays.

I'm honestly dreading going back to get DS. I'm so overwhelmed. I think I may actually cry in front of them!

Research other options. Childminders are much better at part time usually. Then go to the nursery and say you need part time and you need to know ASAP if the can’t accomofate as you will have to find an alternative.

I feel your pain!
Can you try to smooth things over with the nursery by trying to solve their problem? Eg ask on social media if anyone needs a three day place there.

That way, the other half of the week is filled up and they don’t have a problem

The nursery is being an arse. If it doesn’t say anything in the contract about having to pay full time hours if you’ve given them the correct notice they are wrong.

Take the contract when you pick up and be strong. Tell the person that you have checked the contract and you have given enough formal notice as specified and in addition have informally kept them informed prior to that. If the person then repeats themself then say that’s not what you have specified in the contract and that you will need to get legal advice (Citizens Advice).

Have you given them a months notice that you want to reduce hours? If you have given them a month notice what are they saying the problem is?

A month notice in writing I mean?

Find another nursery.

I've spent the morning calling around nurseries within a reasonable commute to work none have places for the hours I'll need. I'll be trying local child minders next. If I need to give the nursery my one months notice to leave, I'll need to give it to them if n Monday. So it's not giving me a lot of time to get them to decide or make other arrangements.

I've given them just over a months notice that I want to reduce hours, as per the contract. I took the handbook with me when I picked DS up, conveniently no one there, so I've emailed them. Citizens advice is a good shout if they keep being difficult though.

No update from them at all! Totally ignored the email DS has another session today so I'm going to poke my head in and see if there's any more information.

They're going to absolutely hate me too work haven't paid me for my KIT days, so I'm going to be £300 short on his nursery fees until they add it to my pay on the 26th.

Sigh. They're just going to throw us out, aren't they?

I'd get on a local social media site and see if you can find a childminder. Even if he had to spend another month or two at nursery until you find a good one.