Has anyone with horses decided to call it a day?

[Finnifinola]

I'm really struggling. We have two horses, kept at home. Both dcs ride them. I am dreading them going back to school as then the onus falls on me. They are not difficult horses although one of them is not jumping as well as he was which my ds is getting very stressed about. I seem to spend every spare penny on them. I do enjoy noodling about in the field with them but the competing is really taking its toll. Has anyone ever felt like this? We can't afford a groom so I and dh do everything when the dcs go back to school.

I'm not feeling well and it's exhausting me. Trouble is, the dcs absolutely love the horses and we've had horses all their lives. I just need some sympathy

Last winter was so unbearably awful with the rain and mud, I can't face another one!

My aunt was in the same position a few years back, her dd's were little and they kept and competed show ponies. It was very stressful, expensive and time consuming and eventually they gradually sold it loaned out all the ponies and eventually moved to a smaller properties. The dd's are young adults now and have little to do with horses or riding, which makes my aunt sad but she doesn't regret selling up as the stress made her become quite depressed. Unfortunately I think it's quite hard to go for half measures where horses are concerned. How would the dc feel about giving up?

Instead of a groom could you look into keeping them at part/full livery elsewhere or look for someone who would exchange riding them a couple of times a week for doing some of the care to give you a break?

How old are your DC? Shouldn't they be doing the care of the horses before/after school?

Is there an option where you keep the horses but not compete with them? Anything you can do to make this winter more bearable - better lighting/more hardstanding?

How old are your DC? Shouldn't they be doing the care of the horses before/after school? to be fair they do always do something after school.

I think it's the winter. Last winter was so so hard. Our fields are clay, so turn to mud in an instant. We can't afford livery and I don't know any nice places within a 30 minute drive. I know we just have to muddle through. The horses themselves are very happy and generally healthy. (one has a bruised sole o think). We don't have a school and have to travel to lessons. I'm trying to do everything I can to make the winter more bearable (driving all the hay and bedding up to the stables before it gets toonwet to drive there, making sure all rugs clean and ready, getting teeth done and backs done etc)

Different situation to yours in that I had a horse for me and not my DC but yes I gave it all up a couple of years ago and now get the odd horsey fix from either sharing for a while or just going for a good hack somewhere. I don't regret it at all!

In your position, I'd advertise for someone to part loan. You could agree say three days a week where they ride and do all related chores.

I gave up two years ago, after my horse died. I have more money and time, but I miss horses badly. I was at a country show last weekend, and the smell of horses, haylage and shit was like a beautiful perfume. It really is a way of life, and whilst it's hard at times, I think you'd massively regret it if you gave them up.

As you say last winter was particularly bad so fingers crossed its a milder one this year.

What about finding a sharer for them? I had horses as a kid but I was expected to do all the work and if I didn't they would have been sold. I went to boarding school so they were on full livery when I was away but I did the work with them when home. Mum ferried me about, but only when it was convenient for her.

My horse has just gone on loan due to my pregnancy. I miss him dreadfully but can't say I'll miss slogging around in the winter and 2 horses is a lot of work. Having had 2 at the same time over a few winters I can't say I'd rush to do it again. I think your DC need to take more responsibility for them really. It was always made clear to me that the horses were my hobby and therefore largely my responsibility. I had help from Mum and Dad, but they definitely weren't up there slogging their guts out in the winter. They did more than enough by funding them.

I start twitching and hyperventilating, when i think about the mud last winter. Really dreading it

I agree last winter was a bloody nightmare. We are down to 1 horse now as DD1 off to uni and its a huge relief. There's no easy answer as I'm sure you know. We deep litter during the week and do a big muck out over the weekend which save a little time. The mud last winter was a killer.But I'm still dreading the day the last horse goes and DD2 heads off to uni.

Thanks all. It's nice just to moan tbh. Dd1 is off to uni next year and luckily everyone loves her horse so I've already found a loan home for him for at least a year. This does mean that we'll have to get another one so that dhorse2 isn't alone, but hopefully it'll be something dead easy and non competitive, maybe something I can ride myself (ones too small and the other is too buzzy for me!)

As we got older and stiffer and in my case disabled we dreaded each winter more than the last. We didn't have an outdoor school, the mud was unrelenting, catching horses in the dark, picking muddy feet and hardly any time to ride in the short nights. We moved to a yard for the last couple of years but it still miserable and thankfully our DD decided to sell her horse.

We still love horses, just other peoples. I can certainly feel your pain, honestly, I don't know how we'd have got through another winter, I take my hat off to those that make it look easy.