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Original poster

Close relationship with someone who hasn't disclosed they take an anti depressant?

31 replies

Crunchymum · 27/08/2018 23:33

It's a family member, who I am very close to.

Why hasn't she said anything?

I understand privacy and the fact she may or want to burden me but I feel sad she hasn't wanted to confide in my for whatever reason.

OP posts:
GandalfsWrinklyHat · 27/08/2018 23:34

Because it really is none of your business. That simple.

Original poster
Crunchymum · 27/08/2018 23:35

Medication was plonked on table in front of me by the way, I didn't go snopping!!

OP posts:
DeusEx · 27/08/2018 23:35

I’m not trying to be goady or aggressive but - why is it any of your business at all?

Original poster
Crunchymum · 27/08/2018 23:36

Fair enough. I just thought we had an open and honest relationship and I hate to think of her struggling in anyway and not being able to talk to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Crunchymum · 27/08/2018 23:39

Do other people not talk openly?

My close friends and close family know I have counselling, they know I have Arthritis. I know a few of my friends see therapists and or take medication for depression / anxiety. My mother has suffered with various mental health issues since I can remember. But I've never had anyone feel the need to hide it before?

OP posts:
PremierNaps · 27/08/2018 23:39

TBF what medication she takes is none of your business. But I'm sure that if she needed something she would confide in you. I wouldn't worry too much, it's just how some people are.

Magnussen · 27/08/2018 23:40

They might not even be for depression anyway!!!

OytheBumbler · 27/08/2018 23:40

Possibly because you can't help and making it about you is why she hasn't confided.

Sometimes people have issues that can't be solved with a heart to heart.

Original poster
Crunchymum · 27/08/2018 23:41

Obvs arthritis isn't a MH issue but I consider it all one and the same. Physical, mental... I don't want anyone I love to be hiding things (for whatever reason!!).

I realise I sound selfish and dramatic but I can assure you it's because I care!!

OP posts:
rosewater09 · 27/08/2018 23:41

Unless there is relevant background here, I don't think it is any of your business. People have the right to disclose or not to disclose their medical history.

I have been on anxiety medication in the past and would have never even thought to tell people about it. I wasn't ashamed or embarrassed to be on it nor was I purposely hiding anything, but just like I don't go around telling people about the multivitamin I take or my daily allergy medication, telling people that I was on an anti-anxiety medication wasn't something I even thought of doing.

Is there a reason why you think you were owed information about her medical history?

SilverHairedCat · 27/08/2018 23:42

It's not hidden though is it, you saw the box. That have chosen not to discuss it. It's none of your business.

Anti depressants can be prescribed for a lot more than depression - migraine and nerve pain are two that spring to mind - depending on the medication.

DeusEx · 27/08/2018 23:42

I think it’s really lovely that you do care and want to be support them. However, this is a deeply personal thing. I wouldn’t try to find reason as to why they ‘haven’t told you’ - chances are they haven’t thought about it as it’s about that individual very personally, and their SO if there is one, no one else.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/08/2018 23:56

If you're as close as you say, I'm sure she would open up if she needed and wished to
By the way there are other conditions that Anti depressant meds can be prescribed for too

LexieLulu · 27/08/2018 23:59

I'm on antidepressants for insomnia and anxiety... none of my family know other than my DH.

My sister babysits and the pills aren't hidden, so she may know but it's not discussed. I don't want to be a burden and I'm not comfortable discussing out loud

Desmondo2016 · 28/08/2018 00:00

Goodness me. It's not really relevant to anything is it? She's not I'll be sure she's treating whatever it is so there's not really anything to say is there? Does she inform you every time she takes a tablet for a headache?

LexieLulu · 28/08/2018 00:00

Also my dr listed loads of things anti depressants are used to treat and I was shocked. So don't jump to the conclusion she's depressed

Userplusnumbers · 28/08/2018 00:02

I understand privacy

Are you sure? Because it doesn't sound like you do.

rainbowlou · 28/08/2018 00:02

I am on medication for 2 conditions, and also antidepressants.
Only my husband knows, it wouldn’t occur to me to discuss it with anyone else.

Spartak · 28/08/2018 00:06

I’m on anti depressants. I was struggling to function without them. The only other people who know are my GP and my gym instructor, which came about when they asked about any medication I was on.

It’s no one else’s business and my decision to keep it private is not a reflection of how much I love or respect my family and friends.

onetimeposter · 28/08/2018 00:06

I don't think you realise how odd your OP sounds.
It really isn't an issue.
Would you expect her to tell you about taking paracetamol for instance? Not everyone makes depression 'a thing'. It is what it is. I wouldn't think to tell anyone I was on them, not my best friend, anyone.

MVLipwig · 28/08/2018 00:10

My friends know, and they are who I choose to confide in. It despite a close relationship with my family they have no idea. It’s my choice to keep my family relationships a MH discussion and pity free zone. It’s nothing to do with how much I trust them. I say this kindly, but get over yourself, you do not have a right to know

etpuisvoila · 28/08/2018 00:11

I'm also on antidepressants. It's nobodies business but my own. Some people know. Some people don't. But it's my choice.

It doesn't mean she doesn't love you. It doesn't mean she doesn't respect you. It just means that she's making her own choices about her health. You need to respect that.

WellThisIsShit · 28/08/2018 00:17

Not quite sure how this shows you care?

I think it shows that you’re offended that someone close to you hasn’t told you something you have decided you have some kind of right to be told.

The idea behind medical privacy is that no one has the ‘right’ to know the intimate details of our medical ailments, symptoms, diagnoses and treatments. Because, you know, that kind of thing is highly personal!

Soooo, no, you don’t have any kind of right to know someone’s intimate health information, nor should you be taking umbrage if they don’t spontaneously give you all the gory details.

If I felt someone around me had this kind of attitude, I’d guard my privacy a lot closer as I’d feel it was intrusive. Your friend/family member seems more relaxed around you still though, so perhaps be glad of that!

WellThisIsShit · 28/08/2018 00:22

By the way I’m on Amitriptyline (as well as about 25 other things), but if you leapt to such conclusions as you have here, you’d be dead wrong, and I’d be quite insulted that you’d jumped to such ideas actually!

I take that particular antidepressant for nerve pain & migraines, and as a side effect it makes me drowsy so I can time taking it so it helps me sleep.

MissConductUS · 28/08/2018 00:30

As PP have pointed out, antidepressants can be prescribed for multiple indications. And if it is being prescribed for clinical depression, it's correcting a chemical issue in the brain involving uptake of neurotransmitters.

In other words, it's not something she needs to have a heart to heart, let your hair down cry about with you.

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