Adult children visits

[Nana12]

Am I being unreasonable? Daughter often asks me to look after their dog when busy but just recently this has been when going out for the day with my grandson but I’m not ever invited to join in. I feel used but also hurt that she doesn’t want to include me. I love the dog but do find it a bit of a handful and taking it for walks by myself does add to my feelings of loneliness. I’m trying hard not to be a burden but don’t know how to deal with my feelings of abandonment..

Do you have days when you look after your grandson?

It does seem a bit hurtful. Does your daughter ever do anything nice with or for you?

Does your daughter work? Is this the only day that she & dh and ds have to go out together as a family.
Autumn is coming. Have you tried suggesting taking Dgs and dog to a country park, walk along the canal and then lunch somewhere? Chose something that works for all four of you?

Start saying no. She might be assuming you like having the dog. Beats me why so many dog owners can't manage theur responsibilities.

Start inviting your grandson over for tea?

She is of course entitled to go out with her child herself and if you don't want to look after the dog then you're entitled to say no.
How often do you see your daughter and grandchild?

I pick my grandson up from school to help so I do see him and can take him out but I miss family time together which dd doesn’t seem to want and I feel it on bank holidays the most. I dint build enough of my own time up without the children after their dad died and I spent all my time looking after their needs getting them through school etc. I know they need their own family time so I dont expect to go around all the time. I invite them for dinner but its always that they come around at serving up time then they go. Maybe because I live close by they can take my presence for granted

If they come round for dinner then that is family time is it not? Do you give a time for them to arrive and then they come later?
I'm assuming your dd works if you pick your gc up from school? It's probably very hard for her to fit everything in and she probably wants time alone with her dc.
If you would like to have a day out then why not think of somewhere you'd like to go and invite them giving plenty of notice?
In the nicest possible way, I do think yabu. We don't invite either my mum or mil out on our family days out as that time is precious for us (and they are quite busy anyway). We do see them regularly at other times and it sounds like you do too. Maybe you need a hobby or some other interest.

I think YANBU and you are being taken for granted. You are used for child care and dog sitting but not considered when it comes to fun things. Making them a dinner that they turn up, eat and leave isn't the same as an afternoon or day out. You are family too and if nothing else, it's just a bit rude of them. My mil is on her own too and doesn't help at all with childcare or pets. I still visit and take her on days out because she is family and doesn't need to do me favours to be included. I'm sorry you feel lonely. If I was you, I would be unavailable for pet sitting and start going out or having a hobby/friends that mean you are away. That might nudge them a little into not taking you for granted.

Can you find dog friendly days out? Then suggest you could all go? I am sorry you are feeling down

I know my mum used to dislike bank holidays too but as a working mum myself, I sort of sympathise with your dd. every day is flat out, school run & work, school run, homework, tea, and then at the weekends, food shopping, swimming lessons, karate. It never stops. On a bank holiday, all I want to do is spend an extra hour in bed, maybe take my ds to a bookshop or just relax at home. Apart from Sunday night, bank holidays are the only relax time there is.
It’s hard work all round.
So I’m sure your dd doesn’t mean to hurt you, it sounds like she’s just running to keep up.
And definitely say no to having the dog if you aren’t keen on it.