Really need to change my lifestyle... help

[mummyof2munchkins]

I'm now the heaviest i've ever been, even the day before giving birth. About 2 1/2 stone over weight. I drink too much, i eat too much of the wrong things. I justify all of that because i have a highly stressful job that takes up far too much of my life.

My husband and children need me to be to be here so I have to change things. My mum is very disabled and diabetic, she's early 60's, Dad had huge heart attack in early 50's so i don't have genetics on my side.

Calling out for Mumsnet advice and support, I need to radically change my life. Where do i start?

I'd recommend joining weight watchers or slimming world. I found the support of the group, all the tips and plans, and the weekly weigh-ins very motivating and easier than trying to do it alone

For me the fact that you have decided you need to change is the pivotal factor. A year ago, to the day, I decided I had to get fitter as I was putting on weight at a stupid rate.
I went out and jogged around the garden that evening for as long as I could. Round and round in circles. The kids were killing themselves with laughter out the windows. But within a week they decided to join me. On the first day of school term we all got up 15mins earlier than normal and ran/walked as far as we could in laps around the garden (far to embarrassed to go out in public).
A year later most mornings we get up and run a mile together.
I also try and have a healthier relationship with food but rather going for full on diet which I could manage for a couple of weeks I just made slow changes to eat more healthily. One less biscuit. One extra apple. Until it has become more second nature to eat the right amount of the right foods.

Hi OP, know exactly how you feel. I am the heaviest I have ever been and miserable. I have quite a stressful job and just find it takes over and I have no energy or time left to think about my diet or exercise. I just can't seem to get motivated, it's really hard.

xx

I was about 2 stone overweight (11kg) and to lose it I basically cut out all white carbs. So no white bread (no bread at all actually), no pasta, rice, potatoes, crackers etc, plus no proper sugary things like cakes, biscuits.

Took me about 2 months and I lost 11 kg.

It works for me - I have recently allowed sugar to creep back in, 2 kg has come back and I am back on the no sugar no white carbs.

Hi OP, I'm a practice nurse and patients are often sent to me by the GP for lifestyle advice. My three main pieces of advice are: always eat breakfast, eat porridge for breakfast as this helps lower cholesterol levels, and walk. Oh and don't cut out major food groups! Lifestyle choices need to be sustainable which is why strict diets don't work. Can you add walking, even 15 minutes of brisk walking to your day? Family walks in the countryside at weekends? Now that autumn is coming it's the perfect time to get out and about. Make those 3 small changes to start with a see how you're doing after 2 weeks. If going great then up the walking and/or maybe add in swimming or any other exercise you fancy. Getting the family involved is a good idea.

My mission this autumn is a batch of homemade soup every week and cutting down on processed foods. We are all vegetarian and need to expand our menu as has become a bit samey. My 9 year old isn't very adventurous at all.

I really recommend cooking from scratch when possible, especially pasta sauce and soups. Nothing beats homemade soup and crusty bread and butter as it usually contains all the food groups depending on what's in it of course.

You sound like you're determined to succeed and that's half the battle so good luck OP, you can do it.

This was me 18 months ago, I've lost 5 stone since then.
Find an exercise you enjoy and stick to it, do it even when you really don't feel like it.
Make the right choices, have a treat day so you don't feel like you're missing out on everything. Set small, achievable goals and feel proud when you reach them.
Most of all believe that you can do it because you can.

Treat yourself to a lovely new cookery book (not a 'diet' one), go to the bookshop and have a flick through lots to see what you fancy. Doing this made me feel much more like changing my eating habits was an exciting opportunity/change and set me up for a lifestyle change rather than a diet.

You can totally do this OP. Switch your unhealthy snacks for healthy ones like almonds or dried fruit, resrict your alcohol intake. Also get some trainers and do 30 minutes of brisk walking (i.e. enough to raise your heart rate) every day. I lost a stone of baby weight just by doing that. Good luck.

If I was you I'd stop drinking alcohol before anything else.

Could you change job? Would you want to? Sounds like it is the root of your stress and stress makes it much harder to make healthy choices.

I need to lose about the same- can I join you op? I am done with fad diets!

Thank you to previous posters for the advice so far

I'll just say, I love exercise and do something quite vigorous every day, but to lose weight you need to change/reduce what you eat. If you just increase exercise and don’t look at what/how much you’re eating, you won’t lose anything. Exercise barely burns off anything and it actually makes you hungrier so you eat more.

So exercise is great for loads of reasons, but to lose weight, it’s what goes in your mouth that you have to look at.

Exercise is great for stress relief

Experiment to see what works for you. Mixing it up usually works best for weight loss. Walks with family, yoga by yourself, maybe some exercise DVDs.

Can you try to avoid the situations which lead you to drink?

Every time you do something that is good for you, remind yourself why you are doing it.

There's lots of great information on food out there. I would start by increasing the amount of water you drink each day and increasing the amount of vegetables you eat. Then start cutting out the bad meals and replacing them with good ones.

You can do this!

I missed the bit about you drinking too much. Definitely cut that out!

try to find ways to cement your new habits.

So, if you have a glass of wine while you're cooking (my bete noir), make a plan for how you're going to avoid it in advance (so that you have actually thought about it). I find that just not having any white in the fridge helps with that, but it might be something where you do: "If I want a glass of wine while I'm cooking dinner then I will pour a glass of fizzy water with a slice of lemon instead".

Each time you don't have a glass of wine put a tally mark on a piece of paper stuck on the fridge. When you get to ten tallies you'll have saved enough money on wine to be able to treat yourself with a box set. That way you have a non-food reward for your new (better) behaviour.

Do it with one thing at a time, but keep track and reward yourself for getting it right. Once your new habits get cemented you will be able to drop the reward (you won't even notice it any longer because it'll just be the new "what you do") and you can move onto the next big change.

and tell your partner and kids that you are changing the habit so that they provide "social support" (pester power) for it. They'll (hopefully) notice that you're backsliding and call you out on it. SW and WW partly work because of the anticipated shame effect of having to fess up to your failures in public.

Thank you so much for the great advice.

My job is a huge source of stress but truthfully i use it as an excuse because i enjoy a glass of wine at night. My rule about only drinking at weekends has slowly expanded into drinking a large glass or two Thursday night through to Sunday night. I need considerably reduce my drinking.

I'd love to change jobs but no chance we could afford for me to significantly reduce my income. I'm qualified for the job I do and paid reasonably well. A change in career would likely mean a big reduction in wages and lead to lots more stress for the entire family.

So taking the advice here I'm starting my plan:
1.I'll be buying a soup maker this week and pre making some healthy lunches. (avoiding the biscuits and cakes at work)
2.I'll dust off my pedometer and get much closer to 10,000 steps per day.
3.Try to fill the fridge and fruit bowl with much healthier food choices.

It's a small start but i have to do something to pull myself together. The poor habits have slowly crept up on me and become a way of life.

Nishky and anybody else please feel free to join me. I'll report back my progress.

I’m looking forward to the cooler weather so I can get the soup maker out! They are great. Good luck OP

The “my fitness pal” app is good for helping to keep track of what you’re eating. I find using that, if I have a fat lunch, I’m more inclined to balance with a healthy dinner (and vice verse), and you can exercise to “earn” more calories if you know you’re having a treat. Homemade soup is great, I bought the little plastic mugs with clip on lids and freeze in portions so they’re easy to take to work. I’ve also started making overnight oats rather than having a bread-based breakfast, you can add a load of fruit and seeds and it’s really tasty.

OP you basically could be me. I lost loads a couple of years back, through low carbing, reducing alcohol and 10,000 stepping. I need to do the same again, for genetic health reasons! I am in. Starting tomorrow.

Omg! I could of wrote this myself! Thank you! Your not alone, I'm now the heaviest I've ever been - closer to 14st than 13st 🙁 even at 5ft 9" this makes me very flabby an unhealthy.

My dad is diabetic, and has just had to have a stent fitted. Boyfriend and I are trying for a baby, I'm 39 and worried that time is limited (it took me 18 months to fall pregnant with my son from previous marriage, and this was almost 10 years ago when i was apparently in my 'prime'.

I've bought a tread mill, and gone back to my weight watchers classes, but with me it's all or nothing, first week I lost 5.5lbs and was thrilled, since then I haven't stoped eating everything in sight, couldn't bring myself to go class the 2nd week.

I just don't know what needs to happen for me to get a grip and sort myself out! I'm so disappointed in myself 😕

I’d highly recommend the Couch to 5k if you can find a local running group. Running has made a massive difference to my mental and physical health and to my heart rate. It’s ddfinitely worth trying.

I'm just watching the Adrian Chiles documentary on BBC2. It's really good. I am most definitely a "clumsy binge drinker". Filling my glass a little too full and drinking one more glass than i'd intended to.

The timing is good. It's part of my wake up call. I'm thinking about a dry September, starting now.

You are not alone OP.

I've just started with MyFitnessPal. As someone said further up the thread, it's making me think much more carefully about what I eat. I've got it linked to my Garmin & when I exercise it gives me extra calories. I like seeing it all balance out.

The barcode scanner thing is also really cool.

I will get shot of this 3.5 stones if it bloody kills me!

All you need for soup is a pan, a wooden spoon, veg peeler, sieve and knife. You don't need a soup maker! Oh I've got a £3 hand blender too. Soup is supposed to be cheap and easy and nutritious. No need for fancy equipment.