Possible PND or normal?

[ewanthenondreamsheep]

I have one DC almost 6 months and I’ve felt really quite good through pregnancy etc but the last month or so I’ve felt like I’m running out of steam. I’m waking early with anxious thoughts, my appetite has decreased significantly, I’m questioning my relationship and also feeling sort of detached from life in general. I do everything for my baby that’s needed but I don’t feel strong feelings of love. There’s a lot of affection and like there but not this huge bond and overwhelming love. I also sometimes feel I’ve made a mistake having a child despite always wanting to be a mother.

Does this sound ‘normal’ or possible PND? I don’t want to waste the doctors time as I’m still functioning well it’s just I don’t feel very happy inside and sort of numb. TIA

Anyone? 😳

Hi. Please look at this questionnaire.

psychology-tools.com/epds

If you're scoring quite high then definitely go to your gp. I think a score of 11 and above is considered pnd.

Having a baby is extremely tough. You're at a time when you've set of ran out of steam and you're exhausted and this can contribute to low mood.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks classical I did the questionnaire and I scored 14 so I think I should perhaps see the doctor but I feel very ashamed and not sure I can say how I’m feeling to someone outloud. I was hoping these feelings would just pass but I’m really having obsessive thoughts such as I’ve made a mistake, I’m trapped, I married the wrong man, my life isn’t right for me etc and these are becoming more persistent

Go to the GP, definitely. And don’t feel you’re wasting time: depression doesn’t (usually) look like crying and wailing, it’s persistent low numbness as you’ve described. The sooner you get seen, the sooner you can start getting help to feel a bit brighter. Motherhood is tough enough without trying to soldier on through these thoughts and feelings on your own (my mum always says ‘there are no medals’ and it’s a good reminder that we’re not going to be rewarded for trying to be superwoman: the key is for everyone in your household to feel as happy and safe as possible, as much of the time as possible, including and especially ourselves. Asking for and accepting help when it’s needed is a huge part of that.)

You could write things down for the GP of you think explaining out loud will be difficult. They won’t mind reading rather than listening if that suits you better.

Please do see the doctor, I felt very similar to you, still do to am extent and its a horrible thing to face alone. Have you spoken to your dh? Do you get any time to yourself?
Are your hv team any good? My local one can refer people to counselling which I didn't know so it may be worth speaking to them too.

ewanthenondreamsheep oh please please don't feel ashamed. GPs see this all the time. They will help you and they won't dismiss it as nothing. They will take it very seriously. Write things down if that helps as pps have suggested or take your DH / friend with you if you need some support .

Thanks Verbena it might be easier to write thing down as you suggest as I think i would just put on a front and downplay my real feelings otherwise.

queen sorry to hear you are feeling similar - can I ask if you have seen the doctor and what options were given?
I do get time to myself - my DH is very proactive with the baby and I have supportive family so I feel guilty to feel this way as I have no reason to. I haven’t spoken to my HV as we haven’t seen her in months and aren’t scheduled for the next routine appointment for another couple of months so I would need to reach out to her for advice.

I think I’m partly afraid to ask for help incase there is nothing that will help me and this is just me and I’ve made a mistake that I have to live with now

think I’m partly afraid to ask for help incase there is nothing that will help me and this is just me and I’ve made a mistake that I have to live with now

This feeling of grinding relentless reasonless wrong is exactly why you should seek help. Sounds desperately familiar from whenever I’ve had a dose of depression and you can move beyond it.

For me the things that help most are seeing a decent counsellor (I think that one is mostly effective because it signals to my own brain ‘ I deserve to feel better and I’m doing something about it’), getting outdoors every day, and running somewhere green 3x a week (but make sure your pelvic floor is healed post baby, or cycle instead which is low impact).

It’s different for everyone and can take some failed experiments to find your specific mood fix, but you can and will get through it.

The feeling detached and caring for your child out of a sense of duty is exactly how I felt. I felt so much better once I’d admitted it and got help (I had some counselling and took antidepressants for a while). I finally started enjoying my time with DD. I didn’t admit how awful I felt until she was 6 months old. I wish I’d said something sooner.

Definitely see your GP. Hope you feel better soon.

Thank you for your lovely messages. It’s given me some hope that maybe it’s not just me and perhaps I have some form of PND.

For those who have tried antidepressants, do these really work or is counselling a better option? I’m scared I have to wait a long period before getting access to counselling services but I’m equally scared of medication

PND and lots of types of depression are caused by a chemical imbalance in your brain. The medications (which, if you're breastfeeding they have BFing safe meds) are brilliant in my experience.

Medication helped my anxiety to reduce from overwhelming and all consuming to something I could rationalise. It calmed me down, I stopped feeling so sad, dejected and like I was going through the motions.

I didn't have counselling but did talk things through with my DH regularly.

Medication takes a short while to take affect. It gradually builds up in your system. You keep chatting to the doctor about how you're doing and they get the dose right for you.

Depression, anxiety and struggling are nothing to be ashamed of.

I’ve not tried antidepressants but have friends who find them brilliant. As spacedinosaur says, they won’t put you on anything that’s not safe for breastfeeding so if the doctor thinks they’re worth a go I’d definitely try them - the stigma around medication for mental health is nuts. Most people don’t avoid painkillers for a headache because they feel they ‘should be able to cope on their own’ - it isn’t really any different.

Antidepressants have their place. I would always recommend meds and counselling together. Meds help to correct the chemical imbalance in the brain. Counselling helps to process feelings to move forward.

I made an appointment to see the doctor and she was so lovely and understanding. I was close to not going but I forced myself after reading all the messages on here. She’s suggested I start a low dose of a medication called citalopram and has referred me for CBT but there is a waiting list of 8 weeks.

I am nervous to take pills but I’ve been feeling increasingly distant from my life. I thought maybe I was just unhappy with my OH but then realised if that was the case I wouldn’t also be feeling so numb towards my baby. It’s very confusing when your mind starts to over analyse every aspect of your life. If anyone had any supportive advice regarding this medication I would really appreciate the hand hold

Can’t be much help re medication as I’ve no experience, but here is a handhold and also massive congratulations for getting to the gp and getting your points across.

One thing that might help us remembering that nothing’s permanent, so you can give various coping strategies (the medication, the CBT, maybe some mindfulness/yoga/keeping a gratitude journal/doing one ‘selfish’ lovely thing a day/whatever) a good try and then if they’re not for you, you can move on and try something else. Nothing is final, but most things are worth a go x

Hi it’s Faith (name changed). Well done for going!

I’ve taken citalopram in the past. It can make you feel a bit off for a couple of weeks as it gets into your system. It’ll take 6 weeks to get fully into your system but you might see an improvement within 2. I found just knowing I was proactively doing something to change things helped me. I was advised to take it in the morning rather than at night.

Thanks for the kind messages! I’ve prepared myself for feeling a bit off but hoping I’m lucky and get some kind of relief quickly from the numbness. It’s definately not normal to feel like this towards everyone including my own baby. I’m ashamed but hopeful that I can get past this and experience the full range of emotions again