Right so context:
Mum has suffered years with mental health and alcohol abuse. My teenage years were dramatic to say the least and we've had an on/off relationship since. (I'm in my 30s) She lives abroad so don't see her very often. My siblings are NC.
This week we've taken DS to see her and her husband and mostly to meet his Great-Grandmother. She (my mum) looks pretty unhealthy and is definitely still drinking despite being hospitalised some time in the last year. Struggles to walk up stairs/lift anything despite not yet being 60. The first night she got really drunk and went over loads of old stuff, started crying and saying she was worried about me (I'm all good, tired with a 6 month old, but good job/supportive partner etc.) I excused myself and went to bed and it was all ok.
The next day DP, DS and I were going into town to do touristy things, DP has never been to this part of the world. Our phones were unlikely to last all day with battery with taking photos, using maps and we told her this. We'd also booked a tour late in the afternoon to end our day. I text her at 4pm as my battery inevitably died to remind her of this. So after a really lovely day we got the 20 minute train/ 45 minute walk home. I was starting to get worried as just as DP's phone had died we'd had a missed call from her husband. Anyway still light, not that late, we walk round the corner and she's at the window, she opens the door and is clearly really drunk. DP says "alright?" She shakes her head dramatically and says "I called the police" so the police obviously told her where to go as we hadn't even been out that long, but so ensued after this hours of her dramatically apologising, but saying with tears in her eyes that we were "so vulnerable" and could have "walked into the wrong end of town" (I know the city well. Obviously it's possible but unlikely that I'd take my family to some dodgy area)
I'm not really sure what my question is. How do you deal with people like this? I want to be sympathetic but I suspect that this has far less to do with concern for us and more to do with her needing to create drama and put herself at the centre of it. My siblings have NC for precisely this reason, so much drama but I'm just not an NC sort of person I don't think, I keep thinking how I would feel if my DS saw me like this (like I see her) and it breaks my heart how rubbish our relationship is, but as soon as I open up/ connect on any level it becomes dramatic. I came to terms with not being able to change alcohol issues and related health/mental health years ago, but having my own DS seems to have muddied the waters of our relationship again and I just feel useless and angry at the same time. Any advice at all?